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Everything is lost! We're wasting so much time, when lives are on the line! All i want to do is cry! Why do you have to die? Song 3, by I Hate Myself

Emo Forums » Love And Relationships (Reply)

LittleWitch
Posts: 548
Still Growing Jul 08 2018, 01:07 AM
I just came out of a 7 month relationship. I decided to end the relationship due to the fact that I realized I wasn’t growing as a person with this particular individual. For a little while I felt like such an ass because I thought I was being selfish in randomly coming out of nowhere and exclaiming my feelings. We both had our own faults but, I honestly knew deep down that this relationship wasn’t going to work out especially when I was in my own little headspace and not letting him in to try and understand my self destructive emotions. So curiously, has anyone been through some what of the same experience?

Replies

LipsOfDeceit
Posts: 2174
Jul 08 2018, 09:48 PM
Yeah totally! I ended my last relationship because I just felt like I couldn’t properly grown in the way I wanted to even as a grown woman haha. I felt like they were always negative, always putting me down and I felt like I was sacrificing who I was and who I wanted to become to make them happy, but still it was never enough. We both dealt with some mental health struggles and I was so desperate to feel better but it always ended up in a competition of who had it worse. I actually felt that way for probably over a year but this was a long term serious relationship and honestly I was quite scared to 1. Make their life harder or hurt their feelings and 2. be alone. But since I made the decision things have improved. I have less stress, less bad days and I even went back to university. I feel lonely sometimes of course, and also a little scared to get back into dating because I kinda love this new freedom to be me... :)
LittleWitch
Posts: 548
Jul 09 2018, 01:53 AM
<b> LipsOfDeceit I totally understand where you are coming from. Both him and I had very serious mental health issues, like revolving around anxiety, suicidal tendencies, body image issues, and depression. And we both weren’t in our own mindsets to have a balanced and stable relationship. To be honest I was more upset within myself than him. He was so invested in wanting to find someone to share his life with that he disregarded my own feelings of being constantly suffocated. He begun getting too real with me in a sense... I mean I am only 16 and he had plans of getting married when we graduated and having children. I was honestly not ready for that kind of commitment. And then deep down I realized I had gotten into a relationship with him because I cared for him and wanted us to grow together, yet we didn’t. I felt like we were digging ourselves deeper into depression and obsession. So finally I brought up the idea of taking a break... yet a break for him was more like two hours of not texting. I just felt.... so lost. Not knowing where to go because I didn’t want to just simply throw everything we have away ya know? Like we had been through so much... but finally I just broke it off on my own terms. Lately... a lot of people have been giving me advice to try and reconcile with him but... I just feel as though, that would end horribly because he is still so attached to me. Whereas I want to move on and make myself happy without relying on someone else for my joyfulness.
LipsOfDeceit
Posts: 2174
Jul 09 2018, 09:53 PM
Yeah, as you said you’re still so young, the most important thing you can do now to is be happy or whatever for yourself and enjoy being young and worry about all that relationship nonsense later ;P haha
LittleWitch
Posts: 548
Jul 18 2018, 08:00 AM
I recently blocked him all over social media, and it took a lot of effort to do it. But in a strange way I am glad that I did, I feel relieved in a sense. Because I don’t have to worry about letting anyone know about this sort of subject. However I am dreading the questions that will flood in from distant friends wondering what happened...

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