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Emo Meet - London UK - August 2011

BloodEmotion's Journal

Pages: 1 2 Next Last | Total Journal Entries: 27

Dec 21 2013, 02:15 AM

*Private entry*

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Dec 15 2013, 01:05 PM

Well friends, acuatances and people who just like looking at journals... I'm not gonna be on as much as before...not goodbye, just not all day everyday. 3 reasons: video games (got a new one), stress and duty (those chores aint gonna do themselves) and...personal problems (I'm only going to say that my mum is in hospital...nothing else)...so...not goodbye...just... not a certain hello...but dont worry... I'll come on when I can ;)

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Dec 08 2013, 03:54 PM

ok. today I was crushed...I am literaly... crushed...I...I...I am just crushed... not her fault...her mum says that...she doesent want us talking... I...she will try and talk...but...if her mum has her way...I will never talk with her again...I...I feel dead... I...I am crushed...if...if I cant talk with her...I will break my promises...I...I am that...that crushed...life...hates me...I...I will pray that this all works out...but... my heart is dying...I am dead inside...

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Dec 08 2013, 11:23 AM

well...I am happy... Rachel is ok...her acount was deleted for some reason but she didn't leave...so anyone who loves Rachel as much as me can sigh with relief...

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Dec 07 2013, 05:24 AM

Well...that was a bad breakdown... I...she promised she will stay...I understand if she hates me...after all I put her through... but I made a choice... she has yet to decide...although I dont mind... as long as I can hold and protect her... I will wait forever if I have to... I love her...her and her alone... she is what I have been searching for my whole life... she is my world...she and she alone...I have made my choice...and I am happy I made it...

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Dec 07 2013, 04:07 AM

well...this is it...goodbye everyone...it has been fun knowing you... she...she says she is leaving...so...I am dead.. she broke her promise...why should I keep mine? so goodbye, dear friends... I hope you enjoy life...cause I give mine up

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Dec 06 2013, 10:02 PM

*Private entry*

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Dec 06 2013, 10:02 PM

*Private entry*

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Dec 06 2013, 03:17 PM

*Private entry*

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Dec 06 2013, 10:00 AM

OK. this is it... My final decision... she is my world now... she might not be able to let herself return my love, but she is my world... I will seek her out when I am old enough... I will one day stroke her cheek, wipe away her tears and say I love you in the flesh... all I can do now is hope (allthough be it with guilt) that she will be able to return the feeling in other ways than pain one day... untill that day comes... I hope she will remain happy... for... I have found The one... My other half... and... I now understand the meaning of True Love... and (although in pain) I am happy... that I have found what I have been searching for...

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Dec 06 2013, 03:31 AM

*Private entry*

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Dec 06 2013, 02:05 AM

No. I never wanted this... this is a mistake, I am a mistake... I have broken hearts directly and indirecly... I am a inferction... a love killer... all because I feel something so strange... so terrifying...so... magical... I hate myself... my heart, my cold, black heart wants this more than anything... and... right now... the guilt weighs down... I...I would do anything... for her to be mine... yet... it makes me sick...just how much pain I have brung... I am sorry... that is all I can think to say...

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Dec 05 2013, 03:04 PM

*Private entry*

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Dec 05 2013, 02:08 PM

*Private entry*

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Dec 05 2013, 12:41 PM

I have realized that... all I've been doing is whine... I am really sorry if anyone got fed up with it... I promis I will try and be happier in futur... sooo... smiles ^_^^_^^_^

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Dec 05 2013, 10:47 AM

well... today she left me... she didnt even talk to me... she gave one of her friends the guilt and heartache of telling me, saying lies like how I only wanted sex out of her... when she was the one who asked me... I still dont know the real reason... all she said was "is it that bad to want a bf from your own country?"... that was low... she didnt even say that to my face... she told a mod, her way of saying "I dont care just get rid of him" I guess... My heart isnt broken... because I allready broke it... I shattered it so she would be happy... I guess that was my biggest mistake... or maybe it was driving the ones who really loved me away... only one small peice remains... one peice that refused to break... a peice... that was given to me by the one I truly love... but she belongs to another now... and... I... will never love anyone else... again

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Dec 04 2013, 09:12 PM

Well... yesterday it seems like I had an emotional breakdown... I guess after a week of non-stop heart ache... it must have all climaxed... I hope I didnt bore/make anyone feel bad with my ranting... I guess I really am fragile... I'm sorry...

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Dec 04 2013, 03:28 PM

Well... my life isnt that bad... I have a loving mother... not all can say that... I have been given the gift of friendship... though its responsibilities are great... and I have one who will lie with me... and that is a great gift... so... I guess I can leave my blade...let it gather dust... and live out all the pain, suffering, torment, hope and joy that the rest of my life will bring... even if my past claws at me...I hope the futur will set me free...til then... I made a promise... and... I guess I can stay happy...

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Dec 04 2013, 03:18 PM

*Private entry*

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Dec 04 2013, 03:13 PM

And so... my heart will beat...crying... in its dark shell... waiting... but never finding... asking, but forever longing... waiting for the day... it will be over

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Pages: 1 2 Next Last | Total Journal Entries: 27