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Emo lyricsDon't look for the critics 'cause they're everywhere. They don't like my jeans they don't get my hair. We change ourselves and we do it all the time. Why do I do that?Emo song lyrics
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chris_still_here's Journal

Total Journal Entries: 2

Oct 23 2014, 09:21 AM

Today I want to die I need to die I want the cold embrace the numb feeling in my wrists just one last time I want the warmth of my blood to empty out of me like pulling the blankets over your head the one last time I want to say hello and goodbye I want nothing more than to die right now

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Oct 22 2014, 08:20 AM

Today I feel alone I feel depressed as of if that I kno I have a beautiful and amazing girlfriend that will be my wife I feel that I will not make it through this life the way I am wanted to be I feel like a dissapointment and idk why I belive I should talk to dad about this I feel sick to me stomach just writing these words and idk why I wish I knew the answer Idk why I feel this way all I want is an answer to this question that drives me insane and I can't figure it out no means of research and guidance can lead me to this answer is this something that the answer is in me  or right in front of me I can't figure it out I seek approval and I crave attention that I will accept I don't kno why maybe the attention I crave for is what is dragging me down I just I don't kno anymore or have I tricked myself to belive I am depressed I have a great life yet at the same time I want to die maybe I will find the answer one day I feel as if that a fire had been lit and I was the fuel I feel as if that I need to talk to somebody that I need help but yet I dnt want to tell people because I'm afraid I will get riticuled for being the way I am I am not sure if me as a person pleases anybody but christina but yet I fuck up and make her upset ad that's what hurts me most of all she is my everything and when I upset or hurt her it makes me feel like the worst person in the world all I want is acceptance but yet I am judged the most in the one place I am supposed to feel the safest I just need that mother my mother I crave her affection and acceptance and love just a simple text would suffice I just need that one little bit of hope to grab something to hold onto I am jealous of my brother seeing him with my step mother I wonder how it feels to have a mother's love to feel that bond to feel absolutely safe and free of harm I am truly jealous I crave that feeling everyday I just want that my father is the best one I could hope for he has done everything for me he has been the only one who will go to hell and back for me he's been through everything with me I love him for that yes he can be a ass sometimes but he's not perfect and neither am I i have a handful of friends I truly trust and who I would die for if it came to it they try to fill the gaps in my life where I lack the feelings or emotional stability I am great full for them I just don't kno why I feel so guilty all the time for being the way I am right now I act ok I try to put on my smile but it's becoming harder for me to pull off I know they notice the cracks when I let my guard down for just one moment I just don't kno I feel I am a burden to them I know this is just for me  and my thoughts but I feel in some way this should help but idk what to do anymore.

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Total Journal Entries: 2