Emo Scene Community

I thought this would give people a giggle :P The Gay Men's Bible 1. Every gay guy should own or have watched Beautiful Thing. 2. Bad hair days are not something that can be allowed to happen to a gay man. Lesbians are, of course, exempt and even encouraged to think otherwise. 3. It is a gay man's right to get invites to both the Hen and Stag nights. 4. When spreading rumours it is okay to exaggerate the truth, as long as it makes the rumour more interesting. 5. It is okay to be late; the heterosexuals just expect it from us. Don't make another homosexual wait too long though because it's a miracle that they are even ready on time. 6. When out, it is your legal duty to distract the ugly friend of some hottie with whom your best friend is trying to score. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your friend is forbidden to speak of it. 7. Similarly, you should always rescue a fellow homo from the clutches of any undesirable. Put your arm around him and act as their boyfriend. 8. When out, you are expected to sing along to every Britney, Christina, or Madonna song and to know every word. 9. Before dating a fellow homo's ex, you are required to ask his permission. If they say no you are allowed to date them anyway. 10. Straight men who say they're okay with gay people but don't try to hook up with them need to be watched closely because they can't be trusted. 11. If a homo's zipper is down, reach in and give his willy a shake. 12. When a homo asks you to help him move house laugh in their face. 13. Homosexuals don't fart in public, end of story. 14. A straight guy who is drunk is still considered off limits even if he is coming on to you like a two dollar whore. 15. Nevertheless, spooning drunk straight guys is not only acceptable, but strongly encouraged. 16. Only drink fruity chick drinks. Drinking beer is for hetero men and we're above that. 17. When fighting a fellow homo degrade them verbally till you can't anymore and then commence hitting like a girl. 18. Thou shall worship Karen Walker. 19. Honour thy fag hag. 20. Do not sleep with your fag hag's boyfriend. If and only if he makes the first move, making out and copping a quick feel are acceptable. 21. Never hesitate to reach for the last anything. We're gay and we deserve it. 22. When in the bathroom it's OK to sneak a peak at your neighbours goodies, just don't get caught! 23. Do not take the name of Cher in vain. 24. Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his boyfriend, you must attempt to get a piece of the action or swear you'll tell his boyfriend. 25. The morning after you and a fellow homo who was formerly "just a friend" have drunken doggie sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to do it again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was. 26. Don't hit on straight guys. This rule is null and void if the striaght guy in question is making homophobic remarks or just being a dick in general and needs to be put in his place. In this situation a light slap on the ass is acceptable. 27. Under no cirumstances shall a gay man ever shop at Primark. 28. It is perfectly acceptable to mock straight men for sleeping with women. The same is not true for lesbians as they are the bodyguards of the gay community. 29. You should aim to be fluent in one of the following subjects: fashion, dance music, show tunes, or interior decorating. 30. A significant period of time without gay sex may result in being downgraded to simply "amusing". 31. You may not call someone your boyfriend unless he is also aware of the fact that he is your boyfriend. 32. There is a statute of limitations on being "bi-sexual" of two years. After the statute has expired you must choose a team, or be randomly assigned one based on your hotness. 33. Being gay also makes you a diva. This entitles you to bitch, whine, complain and just genrerally piss and moan about how things/people are not up to your standards. 34. Gay "seniority" is determined by length of time you have been out not by age. 35. The word fabulous is a word of gay creation. Straight men who use it more than twice in their life are automically assumed to be homo by assosiation. 36. An orgy is not considered a "group date". 37. Porn is for sharing. 38. Pride is not compulsory, although nevertheless a Doctor's note is required for non-attendance. 39. Hollyoaks is compulsory viewing. 40. Always consult to check what your friends are wearing before you leave the house, as inadvertantly choosing the same outfit will make other people think you are a couple.