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Write our prayers on a little bomb. Kiss it on the face and send it to God. The Death Song, by Marilyn Manson

Emo Forums » Emo Poetry (Reply)

Emo Pictures - Lost_and_Unfound
Lost_and_Unfound
Posts: 92
New song written, opinions? Aug 21 2011, 01:12 AM
Firstly, be aware that I write for a deathcore band, meaning screams, growls, heavy dual guitars, and a double bass drum... if you would like to give constructive criticism you are more than welcome but PLEASE be familiar with the deathcore genre. Thanks :D This is the first song in a series of 7 that I plan on writing, each for one of the deadly sins. It may be interpreted in anyway you want, religiously or socially or what ever you want it to be. I am in fact Christian, but in no way was this written as a "praise Jesus" type song... I actually find that genre of music both cliche and boring, so here you go the first of the 7 deadly sins, Lust: Title: Luxuria Oh what a world These bodies are temples Treat it like a whore house What the fuck is the world coming to? STOP,(instrumentals stop) shut the fuck up and (BREAKDOWN starts) listen! *Breakdown ends* Have you wondered What you have become? A shell of evil deeds With lustful needs Your deadly sin Your mortal life Is(pause) all(pause) you(pause) know. *breakdown* Such a whore You'll always be Now you are His, property. *breakdown ends* This lake of fire Your home to be Understand, the price of eternity!

Replies

OnyxAngel
Posts: 833
Aug 21 2011, 10:24 AM
I love it! The breakdown part is what will make the song epic though. Plus, poetry/songs about the 7 deadly sins always turn out amazing. I'd love to hear them all >:D
Emo Pictures - Lost_and_Unfound
Lost_and_Unfound
Posts: 92
Oct 09 2011, 03:50 PM
Thank you SOOOO much :D I love to hear my writing isn't absolutely terrible lol :P
OnyxAngel
Posts: 833
Oct 09 2011, 09:05 PM
It's not terrible at all. You definitely understand that this is about Lust. It's perfect :)
Emo Pictures - Lost_and_Unfound
Lost_and_Unfound
Posts: 92
Oct 11 2011, 07:51 PM
Thank you ohh so much (: I'm posting the next one now for Envy (:

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