Emo Scene Community

You make me angry. Just so fucking angry. The way you act. Who you are. The fact that you exist sending me into an uncontrollable, undeniable and never regrettable rage. Everyone says I'm supposed to love you, but how could anyone love you? I never wanted to be abused, I never asked for your constant annoyed chatter aimed at me, drilling through my skull somehow getting into the only place I used to be able to call my own. But not any more. And never again. Sending me into a downward spiral of unwanted thoughts and feelings, that darkness so familiar washing over me as you push me down until I can't breath and It's all black all so fucking black and I hate it and it's hell and death breaths freedom and that darkness is somehow better than the light because I can't see your god damned fucking face and that makes it all okay. But I never fade away and death never comes just a fate worse than that. and the darkness fades to Grey and you are there waiting for me and for a moment I think it will all be okay. That you saw you hurt me and broke me and bruised me and you're sorry and you'll never do it again. And things will be better. You don't know how but they will be better. And I believe you. I fall for that same fucking trap again, because I'll take what ''safety'' I can, even when I know deep down it's all a lie but I need it like a drug. that reassurance from the very thing that made me unsure. of life and reason, of love and purpose. So I fall again, this time it is too much. I don't want to be this any more, to see everything I've seen pasted on my eyelids so I'll never escape it. Because it's gotten into my skull somehow getting into the only place I used to be able to call my own, but not any more. And never again. And I sigh and I scream and I hold it all in. my anger seeming to burn through me, destroying me from the inside out. but I always hide it because I'm scared if what you will do. so I bite my tongue and bleed all over, and choke and cry myself into the darkness alone, because it is my only safe place, the only place you can't get me. where no one can get me and I can't even bring myself back. It would mean a lot if you told me what you thought of it. x