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Emo Forums » Emo Poetry (Reply)

FallenArchangel
Posts: 52
Don't laugh, first try v.v Aug 13 2013, 04:19 PM
I tried using four stanzas with different rhymes, but I only made three.. I was really bored in Chemistry today, and I though of a dream I had a while back. In the dream there was a song, it got stuck in my head, but the only words I could remember were "Bound to the world he only knows" I googled it and it came up with no results. Weird.. So I decided to write this. Like I said, It's my first time, so if you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them! Bound to the world he only knows. His reflection is all the shows. But deep in the compounds of his shell, He wants to be free of his self-made hell. The demons that haunt him he can't control. The reasons for torment are kept inside. Alone with himself blood starts to flow. Under the cloth is where it hides. He dreams of a time when things were clear. When the dark was all that he had to fear. He knows that the time is no longer here. The sadness of loss bring him to tears. And I was going to add one more stanza, but, I lost my inspiration, lol. Thanks for reading!

Replies

Bones
Posts: 1724
Aug 14 2013, 11:10 AM
yer I like though agree it need a bit more to it!!! I thin kyou such wait till your physics lesson then mayb you will have an epiphany
FallenArchangel
Posts: 52
Aug 14 2013, 03:14 PM
Lol, my high school doesn't offer it :P I'll just wait until college then.
Emo Pictures - DarkTranquility
DarkTranquility
Posts: 37
Aug 30 2013, 12:06 PM
I like it. Coming from someone who's been writing poetry for about 4 years, I really like it. If you decide to write more, just choose one rhyme scheme and stick with it. I always go for the rhyme scheme in the second stanza. Just a little advice. Very nice poem though (:

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