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Vermoord
Posts: 26

I love it when you choke me. Aug 16 2013, 10:30 PM

My heart has collapsed under the pressure. The depths that you have dragged my heart to still give me pleasure. I love drowning in your kisses and your poisonous words. They give me the joy of life eventhough in the end it hurts. I can hold my breath long enough to stay underwater with you. You are a mermaid that seduces me to come down, do you even realise what you do? I can survive every hurricane and every thunderstorm. My love for you is what keeps me going and keeps me warm. Why do you love to see me fall down and failing at getting back up. Cant you see when you killed your prey, when enough is enough. You sliced my chest open and grabbed the heart. You filled the empty hole with your poison and your dark filthy soul.

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Total Forum Posts: 11

flarencekun
Posts: 12

Aug 16 2013, 10:56 PM

it's very symbolic and touching.,. as a co-poemwriter., i like how you construct your poem.,. i can also feel a tinge of melancholy in your lines., but i think u're trying to prove that love is selfless.,. uhm., how many hours do you spent in doing this?., it seemed carefulli structured., if i may say so.,. :)

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Vermoord
Posts: 26

Aug 16 2013, 11:05 PM

I only wrote that down about 10 minutes, but i only focus on structure really, nothing else. but i just rush poems because if i spend to long on one i just lose all my inspiration it seems. Most of the time i just write story's instead of poetry.

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flarencekun
Posts: 12

Aug 16 2013, 11:21 PM

okei., so not onli., co-poemwriter., also co-writer.,. xD i'm impresse u did that in just 10 minutes., but well ur reason is logical since some people lose their inspiration if they are not focus on that subject.,. u have a talent and skills u know that?., i am a perfectionist and somewhat critic in nature yet i'm impressed in ur works.,. what sort of story do u write?., are they novel or what?., are they sci-fi or what?., because honestli i haven't finished any of my stories yet.,. xD

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Vermoord
Posts: 26

Aug 16 2013, 11:34 PM

Most of the stories i write are about growing up, trying to find yourself and just wanderlust, the need to run away for adventure and to see the world. Most of the main characters in my storys are girls, because i find it a bit easier to write from that perspective then from a guy's perspective since im not really a manly man, haha. Though in ever really finish a story because i get stuck and cant seem to progress the story after about 10-20 pages.

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flarencekun
Posts: 12

Aug 17 2013, 12:06 AM

don't worry about being a manly man dude., i have the same issues as you., but that's what emos are., really.,. :) your topics are nice and mature., it seems you've went through a lot of life experiences., but try finishing your stories., think of this., "not all people know their way around life., so if ever you finished a story and have readers., maybe you can enlighten them.," see?., u can be a ladder to their crumpled life.,. :]

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Bones
Posts: 1724

Aug 17 2013, 02:16 AM

lol thought that this was going to be some sexual thing!!!

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flarencekun
Posts: 12

Aug 17 2013, 07:15 AM

what you expect is certainly what you are always thinking., hehe., just kidding.,. :)

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xXeMoRaCeRXx
Posts: 18353

Aug 18 2013, 09:57 AM

Haha with her it's probably true..

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flarencekun
Posts: 12

Aug 19 2013, 12:55 AM

uhh., i think you mistyped.,. i think you're going to say "ABSOLUTELY true"., not probably.,. :D

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Kate
Posts: 4198

Aug 19 2013, 02:33 PM

haha ^ well written poem =)

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XXlovelessXX
Posts: 3

Sep 04 2013, 06:29 AM

this is a great poem. i would write somethin' but i's 2 tired. :)

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Total Forum Posts: 11

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