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Try to find out what makes you tick as I lie down Sore and sick, do you like that? Do you like that? There's a fine line between love and hate and I don't mind. The Diary of Jane, by Breaking Benjamin

Emo Forums » Help And Advice (Reply)

BrokenPrincess
Posts: 45
I can't do it :/ Jun 20 2014, 04:40 PM
i Don't feel like nothing is going to stop. I just keep getting worse and even though I try to think positive and try and keep myself happy i can't... it's impossible. I carry a razor around with me now because leaving it in the house is like torture because when I'm out if i need It it's not there. I hate the fact im so bad with hurting myself I need to bring a razor with me :(. I try to help people here but I can't follow the advice I give and I feel mum understands all she can and now has become no help to me because she doesn't understand to do anymore apart from listen.. she can't even reply. My whole family is telling me i'm trouble and I'm causing my mum alot of crap and thats why she sometimes has to go to hospital for stress. It makes me feel so much worse knowing i might be making my mum sick and that my family thinks that and that i'm nothing but trouble. I know I can be a problem but I never thought I could be that bad. I don't even want to try and get better any more no one will be able to help so i may as well just go and die.. i'd be alot better off then being trapped in all this with no escape. Im suffocating with problems I don't no how to fix. I have nobody.. everyone's left i don't even know what it's like to have people to talk to anymore. I feel to lost and I don't know How i came to all this I don't know what I did to deserve it. I don't belong anywhere. I should just die :/ I don't think I can do it... I don't think I can make it to my counseling sessions it's too hard and each day I feel like I'm being crushed by all this.. i didn't think things could really get any worse and I HATE having to put on a brave face. And also theres this Person going around calling me a Ugly Emo slob who deserves to die.. i can't even be bothered to face it.. i Just took the fact that the person's probably right ?. I don't know what to do :/

Replies

Emo Pictures - xXeMoRaCeRXx
xXeMoRaCeRXx
Posts: 18353
Jun 20 2014, 04:42 PM
Whoever called you ugly is clearly blind and jealous! You might be feeling really low now but as you will have heard many times and it is true - things will get better and you need to stay strong *hugs*
Emo Pictures - Xeno
Xeno
Posts: 112
Jun 20 2014, 04:45 PM
If your mums stress is causing some of your dilemma then try to not show your problems to her for a while. I don't know maybe possibly find another kid with similar problems, deep friendship mostly starts there and then it helps keep your mind off of all the shitty stuff. Final thing, don't carry a razor outside with the intention of cutting. I mean first of all what if the bleeding just won't clot? You've got a big situation on your hands. Just cut at home if you ever need to though I recommend not to.
Emo Pictures - EyeWings
EyeWings
Posts: 287
Jun 20 2014, 05:08 PM
Hold in there BrokenPrincess, there aren't any overnight fixes and deep down your family probaly do empathise with you, they are just scared and the stress is getting on top of them too. But the last thing they would want is for you to die. Howver difficult it gets, they would still rather live with the difficulties you face than without you! THe best thing you can do is try and push yourslef to your counselling sessions even if it an enormous effort. Try and do it for your mum even if you think it's impossible for yourself. That way you may be able to help the both of you! Breaking out of the routine of self-harming is unimaginably difficult, it is like a need. But the need for life and wanting to change must try and win through. In those dark moments remind yourself of all those who love you in spite of your problems, they will support you always! Your experiences with the bullying is awful, but bullies do tend to pick on vulnerable people. If you can try and feel for them too that they have nothing better to do than call you names, that must be a far more meaningless existence than the one you have! Best Wishes. and you can message me if you still have doubts, chin up! :)
BrokenPrincess
Posts: 45
Jun 20 2014, 05:35 PM
@xXeMoRaCeRXx - Thanks :) *Hugs back* @Xeno - I try not to show my problems to anyone and I hate it but by doing so I made things worse. It's mostly the arguing with my mum that makes her more stressed. I know it upsets her that she can't do any more and that she's done all she can. also theres no other people like this around me I haven't even seen another emo so Theres really no one :/ @Eyewings - I do try to hold in and really do understand that it can't be fixed over night even though i wish it could.I know they probably didn't mean it in a way to hurt me but people can't really say anything to me with giving me some form of emotion. some of my family refuses to accept me as emo and that does hurt they still talk to me but they think i'm being stupid and such so i'm hurting them because i'm emo and hurting everyone by what i'm doing which means if i want to make everyone happy i'd have to get better and stop being emo. and I don't want to stop being emo I love the emo culture and i couldn't think of me not being emo .. its me and i don't want to change. I have been bullied more then once but this is the first time i've heard anything about it because of me being emo. i don't no how long they've been saying it for. I always think there taking time out there day to think about me weather it is bad or not! it helps a tiny bit but the names do hurt.
Emo Pictures - EyeWings
EyeWings
Posts: 287
Jun 20 2014, 05:46 PM
I think it sometimes takes time for our parents to accept our own way of doing things. They see it as rebelling against them, and sometimes we arent ..were just being us! But hopefully they will come around in the end and respect you for your person. I can't say thats always the case, but most of the time parents will eventually come around! It could also be, that its not the emo part they don't like, its thinking of you being an emo has led you to self harm, which is why they may feel scared or resentful of it. If you TRY and go to your counselling sessions prove to them that being an emo helps you be a stronger not weaker person and they may feel better about it! Its not being an emo you need to stop, its trying to stop your self-harming! :) I'm afraid some bullies will always talk about us and pick on us for no good reason, sometimes its their own insecurities coming through. It can be about anything not just being an emo! I agree with you it hurts, especially if its on your doorstep. But please try to think of how many people are just like you and even though they arent there in person, on places like here they are your family! :)
Emo Pictures - Crankor
Crankor
Posts: 79
Jul 04 2014, 06:42 AM
Rob Shnieder says otherwise

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