Emo Scene Community

Well, I have had a teen girl coming up to me and asked me about her situation being pregnant with her ex-bf. I always think the best advice is no advice, because the beauty of literature is, neither it lectures you nor advises you, but it shows you and makes you see it from your own perspectives to make your own judgements. She said she also has two children from other men and it was a high risk one. Anyways, it's not my job to judge whatsoever she was into. What I told her was: 1. It is her body. 2. She is the one with an ultimate decision on her body. 3. In this situation, logic should come before emotion. Who is going to be responsible for the other two children if mother dies? As a woman, I personally put emotional and intellectual connections before anything, sex is always the last item on my list. I strongly believe emotional and intellectual connections can be easily led to sexual connection, but not vice versa. Even if a man stays with a woman for children as the result of unwanted pregnancy, I don't believe that both the woman and the children would be loved. I personally wouldn't want such a man as a father figure for my children, because children do need love and care. I strongly believe my body is my body and I am the one with an ultimate decision. I don't think it should be manipulated by anybody and I should be in charge of it with responsible decisions. I choose a man, because it is my body that an organism grows in. It is the same with animals. Females choose males (Have you noticed that males are usually more colourful and beautiful than females?).

Thank you for that interesting in depth reply!

would you kill a baby after its been born, no thats murder. abortion is murder. many people say that the fetus isn't a baby untill; theres a heart beat, or a breain or it looks like a baby ... there are list of criteria alover the place. i belive life begins at conseption. if you removes a a fetus from a mothers woom and grew it in a test tube in a lab some where it will be a human baby some day, it won't turn into a chicken or a dog, that single furtalised cell has human DNA, wait 3-9 months (depending of peoples views) and that single cell is now a human being, sure by some befinitions that cell isn't "human" and so it ok to kill or "abort" but it would have been a person , by aborting a fetus you didn't just take a life you prevented a life, you distroyed that beings chance to exist and to me thats worse then kill some whos live even a day

It's not always so easy... A raped woman might not know she is pregnant until it is inevitable to notice. What now? Could she give love to the child of her rapist? I do not think so, at least in many cases. (I do know a case, my neighbour. She is a great mother to her child, but she is an exception on this, I fear) And about the morning-after-pill: Here you cannot just get it, you have to have an examination first if you are really pregnant. Some women feel ashamed or just do not want to expose their body to a doctor after the rape. How should they get the pill or know they are pregnant? I also think that any woman who is just not able to care for a child should better abort it. If you're pregnant with 14 or if you cannot even care for yourself, how could you care for a child? And it is not always the slut that becomes pregnant after a ONS, it is definetely NOT. This can happen to everyone. So in my opinion, it is better to abort than to give the later-to-become-child a bad life. The woman's life should always come before the unborn child's life. And no one has the right to tell another person what to do with her own body.

Well, I think I may be at an advantage to talk about this, seeing as I have gone through a termination. Although I regret it a lot and it took me a while to forgive myself, I believe deep down that it was the right thing to do given the situation, and I would have struggled a lot more if I had gone through with the pregnancy. Me and my fiancée were not mentally stable to look after a child, especially at our age and we did not have the money or the space. So, I believe that abortion is right, because I would like my child to be born inside of marriage, with a roof over their head, and money in our pockets. I believe I did what was best for the child and what was best for me, even though this was the most difficult decision of my life.

I see the point about rape victims, how ever there are couples willing to adopt children at birth, couples that can't have kids. I don't believe that denying life to a child because you where raped. I know a lot of people would say Im wrong and a lot of people have made the decision to have an abortion and I respect that but having the child a bringing a child and love into the world can take that pain and make it less or turn it around completely.

This thread is really upsetting me now

I actually have a friend that has gone through an abortion. It really mad her depressed and regretted. Now she's pregnant again and this time she's keeping the baby. Even now she says that she misses the two twin boys she was going to have. But that's her. I personally, am against abortion. And if you dont want to have a child, then there's always adoption. When you are pregnant, the baby has a promise of life, but you take that away by killing it. That child could've been famous, cured cancer, or whatever. or maybe the child will be a loving and beautiful mother or father to raise children of their own in the future. that child has a life, and now it's gone.

It wouldn't have had much of a life if its mother was a single mum, still at school with no job and no house and no one to support her.

Again, that's why there's such a thing called adoption. I'm adopted

It's really hard for a mother to put their child up for adoption, almost impossible as an attachment is formed as soon as the mother sees the baby. I don't think it is good for either the parent or the child as the mother will always be thinking about if the child is alright, and may even want them back, and the child will grow up without knowing its mother.

In some cases, the mother is allowed to have visits with the child. And is sometimes allowed to have to child back when the mother is able to take care of the child. And i know that it's a hard decision. But so is abortion. But in the end, it all comes to this for the baby; life or no life?

Adoption, well. But first you must carry the baby in your body. If I think of a raped woman that has to watch her belly grow and grow with the baby of her rapist inside... This must be psychological torture, so who wants to force a woman to keep the baby in THAT case?? Also, I totally agree with Everything_is_Red.

Woman's body comes first. Children need love and warmth. When it comes to adoption.., Not all cases turn out to be lucky. I've seen kids that were adopted, then they were kicked out of homes, because things didn't work the way people expected. And then kids have to find other places to go. What and how EVER can compensate the trauma that these kids have to go through? Tell me about it seriously! Adoption means commitment. Raising a human child is not an easy thing. Once you adopt a child, you are committed to the child. Surprisingly, not many people have that patience or resources. I think a woman should have a choice when it comes to abortion, because it is HER body that she is dealing with. And a woman should not be blamed for the decisions she makes. I cannot agree with those who define abortion as murder.

Thank you!

Thumbs up!

I support what you are saying. If it was willing, unprotected sex, then no the woman/girl should have the baby. But if a woman/girl gets raped, then I believe they have that option. My only thing with making a rape victim have a child is (some people may argue with me) she will en up looking at that child and forever remembering what happened. Even if she does give it away, she'll always have that memory. If the birth control fails, then I believe it's up to her about why is right and what is wrong. ** SIDE NOTE ** In the case of a young girl being raped, what if she's scared? She'll have so many thoughts running through her head: "what will my parents say?", "what if they make me have the baby?", "oh, I can't tell them! What if they call the police and the guy comes after me?"... Therefore, she probably wouldn't say anything. Meaning she couldn't get the "morning after pill". And also, the religion could come in the way. Her parents may force her to have the baby. All things must be considered when talking about abortion!

And I also go along with Everything_Is _Red. If can't support the baby, why have it? And also, according to most religions, children are pure and innocent until they reach the age of understanding. So, technically that child is better off in heaven. If you can't support it, send it to heaven where it will be happy. It won't have to experience pain and poverty. I sometimes wonder why my mother never had an abortion. She should've known better than to have a child then just throw it away. But she did. (Hope I didn't offend anyone with my speak of religion)

hmmm...tough question we went on about this in my RE class for some reason but for the most part I agree if you have unprotected sex and don't think about the consequences then its your own damn fault for getting pregnant don't abort the kid for your mistake as you said give it to a couple who can't have kids unless of course its rape and well yeah that definitely wouldn't be your fault

So what's the difference between being pregnant by unprotected sex and by rape? You can't abort one but can for the other? Aren't they both equally a life?? I bet nobody wants to be pregnant by unprotected sex while she is aware she can't afford to keep the child. Abortion is a medical procedure, not a method of birth control. It is hard on both the child and the mother's body. I think woman should have the ultimate right to make a decision on her body. If she decides to keep the child, god bless her, If she deicides not to keep the child, don't blame her.