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...Asphyxiate my brain 'til I'm insane, Stick the needle into my vein, Give me a cure for the pain... A Cure For The Pain, by Alter Christus

Emo Forums » Love And Relationships (Reply)

NoSympathy4TheWicked
Posts: 45
⌒.⌒ Broke up x.x ⌒.⌒ Jun 05 2016, 02:56 PM
Okayy, so my bf has a, quote, "friend" that has "been there for him". He says he "no longer has any feelings" for her yet he still talks to her!! Im pretty sure that thats a red flag that hes still in love with her -.- Im also pretty sure that your supposed to completely let go of any memories and ur supposed to say goodbye when ur in a new relationship. He assures me that their "just friends" when he facetimes her, hangs out with her, etc. This has made my self-esteem drop more then it ought to and my jealousy has gone up. He says that i need to "work on" not being so jealous and my self-esteem. HOW IN THE ACTUAL FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THIS WHILE HE STILL TALKS TO HIS EX?!?!?!?! HOW IN THE ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK? i either need to tell him to cut off all communication with her entirely or he needs to say goodbye to me x.x if he cant handle that ive been hurt in the past (two ppl cheated on me)and i worry tht hes gonna go back to her even though he says hes not, or that my self-esteem has gome down, then he has to say goodbye to me >.< Help with this situation??

Replies

Goodbyeworldimdone
Posts: 309
Jun 05 2016, 05:08 PM
I don't know how your relationship works since its different for every couple.. but if I were you in that situation, I would talk to him.. let him know what your thinking and feeling. Tell him about your past with the other two people who cheated on you and you're just protecting yourself from another heartbreak. If he assures you that their friendship is just as friends, trust him a bit. Since you said they hang out and facetimes her and stuff, tell him that maybe he cant be alone with her, if you still doubt his intentions. Also, if you have a gut feeling about their friendship ask your bf's friends on what they think, since they are his friends, they would probably know whats going on with him and his feelings. Good luck on this situation and hopefully I helped you a bit
NoSympathy4TheWicked
Posts: 45
Jun 05 2016, 05:11 PM
He said he wouldnt stop just because im jealous. We just had a somewhat massive fight and he said tht he wont stop talking to her because of my jealousy
Goodbyeworldimdone
Posts: 309
Jun 05 2016, 05:14 PM
first of, that's bs. He should be understanding and respectful to what your feeling and since he knows your jealous, he has to prove you wrong on the "friendship" they have. It's like yeah my gf is jealous of us but whatever.. this will lead to other problems in your relationship honestly, idk.
NoSympathy4TheWicked
Posts: 45
Jun 05 2016, 05:16 PM
Then he was like WHY WONT YOU LET ME HAVE ANY FRIENDS? And i was like I DONT WANT YOU TO HAVE FRIENDS THAT ARE GIRLS.
Goodbyeworldimdone
Posts: 309
Jun 05 2016, 05:26 PM
I mean you should let him have friends that are girls because either way he will have some. just watch out for the girl he may like but other than that, the other girls should be okay.. unless you sense something else. just imagine if your boyfriend says he doesn't want you to have any guy friends..
NoSympathy4TheWicked
Posts: 45
Jun 05 2016, 05:31 PM
I dont have any anyway x.x He is seeing her in Netherlands z.z I do not like that z.z I sense that he does have feelings for her even though he says he doesnt because he wont stop talking to her and its bugging the crap out of me. Its making me mad and he says he cares about me but if he did, he wouldnt't say this: "I'm not cutting off communication just because your jealous. Sorry" That was his exact words w.w im not sure if i should leave him or idk what to do.
Goodbyeworldimdone
Posts: 309
Jun 05 2016, 05:37 PM
oh so you guys are long distance? yeah im not sure what to tell you honestly, cause I can see where youre coming from and the situation but if I tell you what I really think, it might be a mistake, who knows.. um.. follow your gut and trust it. if you want to stay and see how it goes, do it. if you think there's more things happening and want to break it up, your decision either way.
NoSympathy4TheWicked
Posts: 45
Jun 05 2016, 05:40 PM
Tell me what you really think :) I won't get upset c: Any help is wanted. Hes from the UK but his family is also in the Netherlands too x.x He said we would "talk about it later" but I have a party to go to soon and I have no idea when Ill be home to answer anything. I don't know what to do, Im so lost.. U.U
Goodbyeworldimdone
Posts: 309
Jun 05 2016, 05:47 PM
okay first, party hard and forget this for awhile. after the party, talk to him, if you can, and see what he has to say. talk it out. next, think to yourself, do you think this would work out in the long run? would you see him and you together in a few years or so? if you said you could imagine a future together, then try to rekindle the relationship and stuff, if you couldn't see a future, break it off. you may still like him but if you drag out the relationship that might end you heartbroken and sad, it will be easier to end it earlier than later. sure, you might feel like shit what did I do I love him, think of bad things about him or the fighting and stuff. It all depends on you and what you're feeling. in a relationship there's two people, which means both of you has a say in that relationship
NoSympathy4TheWicked
Posts: 45
Jun 05 2016, 05:57 PM
I will, haha! I'll avenge your inner party self c: I do see a future and stuff but if he keeps this up then there won't be a long-run. Its a really confusing time for me rn due to this situation...i dont know what i should do but then im afraid that if we break up then he may go back to his ex x.x Im so lost and confused :*
Goodbyeworldimdone
Posts: 309
Jun 05 2016, 06:04 PM
do the shuffle for me, that's my main party move XD if you guys break up, then that's that. If he goes back to his ex, screw him. maybe that's his rebound, who knows? You may be lost and confused but i'll be here to help on whatever happens. Just msg me or something lol
NoSympathy4TheWicked
Posts: 45
Jun 05 2016, 06:09 PM
Thank you for helping me sooooooo much!! You may not remember me but I was LoVeLy-CoRpSe c: I love the shuffle! Lol. Want me to keep you posted?? :) He is probably gonna rebound anyway regardless if we break up or not..idk. Im a child from Neverland owo I try to see the best in my relationships but I always f**k them up or the other person does. :)I owe you a bunch!!:)
Goodbyeworldimdone
Posts: 309
Jun 05 2016, 08:07 PM
we are the lost boys hahah XD Keep me posted please, would love to see the next chapter in your life. Shuffle Buddies for Life :P
WayOfLife
Posts: 75
Jun 05 2016, 10:27 PM
She forget to tell, that was a kind of break before. She told it an misunderstanding in communication. Also she searched for another bofriend at this time (before she said it was an misunderstanding in communication). Also you can't force ppl to do the same like you, because you have no friends who are boys. That is selfdestruction! Also if you told him your situation, you can ask him to prove his love to you, that he takes a time break from this girl to get distance. Also you shouldn't say he should end his friendship to her, but at least he can do you this lil favo to prove if he mean it seriously with you. Also you should thought about your behaviour and what you have done before. That's not keeping lightly. And this was only a few days ago. And to be honest if I know that what happened, I mean what you post here before, I wouldn't be sure as if I was he, if ya love him.
NoSympathy4TheWicked
Posts: 45
Jun 06 2016, 01:40 AM
I ended the relationship so you can not be a prick & not harass me anymore >.<
WayOfLife
Posts: 75
Jun 06 2016, 05:09 AM
You know that wasn't my intention! But you can't tell half the way and hoping to get help. But for me it seems you like to blame others for your own faults, like you do it now and told me indirectly that you end it because I told you this. But to be honest if ya do it all the way like that and don't accept your own faults as well (I don't say that you always make faults, but when you make one, you have to accept it and learn for it! That's also important in your full life!), you never will have a good relationship and most of the time it end like this. And at least, if you end up this relationship that easily, I "think" (I don't know it) you don't love him that much.
NoSympathy4TheWicked
Posts: 45
Jun 06 2016, 11:24 AM
Oh. Its you again -.-. If you read the situation, you'd know WHY I broke up with him. I basically saw two signs and therefore knew that he did have feelings for his ex when he lied and said he didn't. Therefore, thats why I dumped him yesterday. I did love him a lot but apparently he didn't if he was (and still fcking is .-.) talking his ex. We basicslly had a huge fight yesterday and thats also one of the main reasons why I broke our supposed "relationship" off.
WayOfLife
Posts: 75
Jun 06 2016, 12:01 PM
It's funny, because I heard that you don't want to get introduce to this Girl. Also you said here that he should not have friends who are girls! At least you got mad as you hear the word ex. And all I saw in your post before shown that this is true, so there is no discussion. And at least, and I say it again you are the one who search for a new one a few days later. This isn't the first time you done that here, also with your old account. But I think you never learn it or accept any other opinion then yours. That is how it is and your behaviour prove that. I am finish here.
NoSympathy4TheWicked
Posts: 45
Jun 06 2016, 12:07 PM
First of all, if someone talks to an ex while being in a 'relationship', shouldn't that person not talk to their exs? I don't know her at all nor do I ever want to >.<. I was pissed off @ the time so I wasn't thinking very clearly. Your never gonna let it go, are you? IT WAS A MISUNDERSTANDING...JESUS CHRIST! I do accept other opinions; even if I dont like them. You havent seen me when Im actually happy -.- I agree. I think your done here for good.
Emo Pictures - xDeadintheDirtx
xDeadintheDirtx
Posts: 362
Jun 06 2016, 07:06 PM
Someone being an "ex" is completely trivial and only has as much importance or bearing as the person lets it have. Understandably it can be a bit weird or unsettling for your significant other to still be friends with or talk to an ex but the main thing you need in a relationship is trust. It sounds to me like you're not even trying to give him the benefit of the doubt and are trying to control who he's allowed to talk to. I think if you care whatsoever about this guy you should at least trust him enough to let him talk to who he wants and know he won't do anything, but if you can't trust him enough for that or you don't feel like he's trustworthy enough for that you just shouldn't be with him. Don't try to tell him what to do or say he can't talk to someone who he considers his friend though,to be straight up,that's just controlling and manipulative, ultimatums are the enemy in relationships,there is no "me or her" "this or that" stuff in a mature and functioning relationship.

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