Dec 06 2013, 03:31 AM

she gave me her heart when mine was broke the words "I love you" was all that could be spoke but I couldnt accept her I couldnt break another so now she is with someone else and what is left was ripped asunder... there is only 1 thing of which I am sure is that my love for her is true and pure.

Dec 06 2013, 02:05 AM

No. I never wanted this... this is a mistake, I am a mistake... I have broken hearts directly and indirecly... I am a inferction... a love killer... all because I feel something so strange... so terrifying...so... magical... I hate myself... my heart, my cold, black heart wants this more than anything... and... right now... the guilt weighs down... I...I would do anything... for her to be mine... yet... it makes me sick...just how much pain I have brung... I am sorry... that is all I can think to say...

Dec 05 2013, 03:04 PM

I... I wanted to write down a song... I might no have written it... but I think it could probably be based on me... "Wake me up when September ends" Summer has come and passed the innocent can never last, wake me up when september ends. Like my father's come to pass seven years have gone so fast, wake me up when september ends. Here comes the rain again falling from the stars dreanched in my pain again becoming who we are... As my memory rests but never forgets what I lost, wake me up when september ends. Summer has come and passed the innocent can never last, wake me up when september ends. Ring out the bells again just like they did when spring began, wake me up when september ends. Here comes the rain again falling from the stars drenched in my pain again becoming who we are... As my memory rests but never forgets what I lost, wake me up when september ends. Summer has come and passed the innocent can never last, wake me up when september ends. Like my fathers come to pass twenty years have gone so fast, wake me up when september ends. Wake me up when september ends. Wake me up when september ends... So... that was it... Green Day... they must have known me in a past life... and forseen my pain... because the captured it in one song...

Dec 05 2013, 02:08 PM

ok... I am fighting to hold back my tears... my tears that so desperatly want to see the light... I... I have found my purpose... yet... I will never achieve it... so I will bear a new purpose... to be a vessel... to take her pain and make it my own... to ease her suffering... to be her shield... I might have failed with my promise of warmth... but I will at least take her cold... for you see... I am a hound...a loyal dog... and I will never leave her!

Dec 05 2013, 12:41 PM

I have realized that... all I've been doing is whine... I am really sorry if anyone got fed up with it... I promis I will try and be happier in futur... sooo... smiles ^_^^_^^_^

Dec 05 2013, 10:47 AM

well... today she left me... she didnt even talk to me... she gave one of her friends the guilt and heartache of telling me, saying lies like how I only wanted sex out of her... when she was the one who asked me... I still dont know the real reason... all she said was "is it that bad to want a bf from your own country?"... that was low... she didnt even say that to my face... she told a mod, her way of saying "I dont care just get rid of him" I guess... My heart isnt broken... because I allready broke it... I shattered it so she would be happy... I guess that was my biggest mistake... or maybe it was driving the ones who really loved me away... only one small peice remains... one peice that refused to break... a peice... that was given to me by the one I truly love... but she belongs to another now... and... I... will never love anyone else... again

Dec 04 2013, 09:12 PM

Well... yesterday it seems like I had an emotional breakdown... I guess after a week of non-stop heart ache... it must have all climaxed... I hope I didnt bore/make anyone feel bad with my ranting... I guess I really am fragile... I'm sorry...

Dec 04 2013, 03:28 PM

Well... my life isnt that bad... I have a loving mother... not all can say that... I have been given the gift of friendship... though its responsibilities are great... and I have one who will lie with me... and that is a great gift... so... I guess I can leave my blade...let it gather dust... and live out all the pain, suffering, torment, hope and joy that the rest of my life will bring... even if my past claws at me...I hope the futur will set me free...til then... I made a promise... and... I guess I can stay happy...

Dec 04 2013, 03:18 PM

I have done it... I have linked my life to this world yet again... so...I guess this isnt the end... but it is... my end...

Dec 04 2013, 03:13 PM

And so... my heart will beat...crying... in its dark shell... waiting... but never finding... asking, but forever longing... waiting for the day... it will be over