Feb 29 2016, 03:39 AM

Well. Just found out my new fetish. That's nice. DDLG FOR LIFE!

Nov 12 2014, 05:32 PM

FOR ALL WHO HAVE BEEN WONDERING WHERE ON EARTH I HAVE BEEN WELL IT'S CALLED BOREDOM! AND GUESS WHAT!? I'M READY TO WRECK HAVOC IN THE ROLE PLAYING ROOM! COME ON DOWN AND JOIN ME!

Apr 26 2014, 08:28 PM

Hail Hydra. All. Must. Hail. Hydra.

Apr 22 2013, 04:45 PM

Sorry, but the site didn't keep the good italics, bolds, and underlines and watnot. KYE “Hello, Kye. You don’t know me, but I know you. Don’t try to escape. I’ve made the liberty of fortifying those straps. No one, not even a demon of your strength, can break through them. So why don’t you tell me already: WERE DID YOU COME FROM!” said the officer. Silence fell through the room. “ANSWER ME!” he said. “Go f*** yourself.” said Kye. The officer punches Kye in his already bruised, bettered, and bleeding face. “I’d say burn in Hell, but I don’t want the already suffering souls there to be in more pain.” said Kye, preparing himself to get punched again, but instead got 3,000 volts of electricity in him instead. “AHHHH!!!” screamed Kye. “NOW TALK DAMN YOU!” said the officer, pissed at Kye’s insolence. “Remember when you said a demon of my strength can’t break through these? Well you’re full of shit.” said Kye, confident in his choice of words. “WILL YOU SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY!?” said the officer. “Ohhh, sorry that I offended you, I didn’t know I could offend heartless bastards like you. I’ll try to contain myself. ”, said Kye, with barely enough strength to say that. “Ya know, I think you and Hitler would get along quite smoothly, then again he wouldn’t like those 20 IQ points of yours.”, Said Kye, making his situation worse than before. ‘Well’, thought Kye, ‘if I’m going back to Hell, better have some fun.’ Then, Kye saw the officer grab a mysterious goblet. “Watcha’ got there? Some fine wine? Mind if I have a taste?” said Kye, spitting blood out of his mouth. “Yea, as a matter of a fact you can.”, said the officer with a smile on his face. “Why so cheery all of a sudden?” said Kye. Then, he realized why the goblet was made of gold and covered in jewels. It was Holy Water the officer was holding. “Dave! C’mon Dave! Think about the children you won’t kill with that! Ha-ha!” said Kye. “Oh, but I’m sure the last level of Hell will have someone for you! Oh wait, that’s right, they don’t except the second killed!” said Officer Dave. “Oops!” Dave purposely drops some of the water on Kye’s foot. “AHH! AHH!” screamed Kye. Kye, in a last ditch attempt, kicks Dave in the crotch. “OUCH!” screamed Dave. Kye, standing with the chair still tied onto him, rammed into the door, back first, breaking the chair. Opening the door, Dave fired his gun at him, hitting him in the arm, leg, and left lung, while sounding the alarm. “CATCH HIM!!!!” screamed Dave. Kye, scrambling to get to the door, heard gun shots from behind. He gathered all his strength and ran as fast as possible. He made it to the door, but it was locked. He rammed it, but nothing happened. Next, he found himself surrounded by guards in heavy armor. “Shit” said Kye. “We have you surrounded!” said one voice in the crowd. “Hey? You know what Demon spit is made of? ACID!” said Kye, spitting in one officer’s mask, burning though it. Next, he spitted through the door, escaping barely. He kept running for 6 hours until he finally gave in to the desert heat. He collapsed, unconscious, hoping he was far enough away from that base. He awoke 2 hours later, still injured, but without any bullets or cuts nor broken bones. At this point in his life, he’s glad that he has a quick healing process. Still in the desert, he knew that there was a town near his relative location. If only he know which way to go. And where his general location was. Kye scrambled along the desert, on alert just in case he heard a plane. He came across a cliff, and once he looked over it, he knew he had found the town. Peril Town, USA. Kye decided to get down the cliff in the morning, until he heard the choppers. He got up, and scurried down the hill, screwing himself up even more. He got down and hid in a bush. Once the choppers passed, he hid in a dumpster outside a strip club. Once the sun rose, he got out and started limping towards the nearest home, but collapsed. He awoke inside a building, on a couch. ‘Shit’ he thought, ‘I’m in Limbo’. He opens his eyes to see a girl beside him, looking at him strange. “Your awake.” She says. “Wh-who are you?” Kye says, realizing his shirt is open, and his jacket on the floor. “More importantly, what did you do to me and where am I?” said Kye. “My name is Claire. My mom is a nurse and she wanted to see if you were badly injured, so she opened up your shirt. By the way, this is my house.” said Claire, with smile on her face. “What’s your name?” “Kye, how did I get here?” Kye said. “We found you on the street passed out.” Claire said, with a smaller grin. “AH!” Kye grunted, as he tried to lift himself up. “You’re hurt, really bad.” Claire said. “I can tell.” Kye said. “Well what’s wrong with you?” Claire said. “Tell me, do you believe in demons?” Kye asked, questionably. “Depends.” Claire said. “Well that’s what your Government wants. And that’s what I am. A demon.” Kye explained. “Yea, that’s rich. And I’m a unicorn.” Claire said. “I’d show you, but as you can see.” Kye said. “Right….” Claire said. Kye felt a sharp pain go up his spine. “AHH!” Kye yelled. “What’s did you do to yourself?” Claire said. “I told you, your damn Government did this.” Kye said. “Blah, blah, blah.” Claire sneered. “Those bastards probed me like an animal.” Kye said. “Yea yea roll over so I can see your wounds.” Claire said. Kye rolled over, and Claire took off his shirt, noticing a scar, going from his left shoulder blade to his right side, with a bullet hole right next to his spine. “What’s this?” Claire asked. “What?” said Kye. “This scar. Oh and this hole.” Claire questioned. “I told you, your God damned Government f***ing shot me. The scar, it’s…..not important…” Kye said, suspiciously. “Give me proof. And yes it is.” Claire said. “AHH!” Kye yelled, as Claire touched his bullet wound. “Oops! Sorry!” Claire said. After 2 minutes of silence, Claire finally said “So, were you from?” Claire asked curiously. “Be more specific.” Kye said. “Like where were you born?” Claire said. “My Human Soul is apparently Canadian. But my demon self was born in the lowest parts of Hell.” Kye explained. “Ok. You really want me to believe you huh?” Claire said. “Well I am a damn demon.” Kye says. “Well you curse like one.” Claire says. “Were home!” Claire’s mom says as she enters the house. “Oh, you’re awake.” She says. “Yea. I assumed not all humans a complete and utter bastards like those Gov Officials down at that God damned military base.” Kye says. “Umm….” Claire’s dad says. “Well, I’ll just be on my way then.” Kye says right before he grabs his jacket. “AHH!” Kye says with siring pain flowing through his spine. He falls to the ground, in pain. He blacks out; awakening in what he presumes is Claire’s room. He finds himself again being watched by Claire. “Be more careful you idiot” explains Claire. “Who are you to be calling an idiot you weak benevolent bitch!” snivels Kye. “Why you no good, self-centered, sexist, jerk! Demon or not you don’t say something like that to someone who saved you life!” Claire yells. “You’re lucky you’re cute!” Kye says. “How dare you call me………….wait, w-what? Did you just call me cute?” Claire asks. “What? It’s now wrong for me to call a human girl cute? You should consider that a complement! Demons insult! Not complement! Unless we mean it.” Kye explains. “Ya know I worry about you.” Claire says. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do with you.” Claire says. “Well looks like its true.” Kye said. “What’s true?” Claire asked. “Blondes are dumber then insects.” Kye says. “YOU STERIOTIPICAL SEXIST BAD-BOY ASSHOLE!” screams Claire. Kye gets slapped in the face by Claire. “OUCH! If you weren’t so DAMN CUTE I’d kill you!” Kye says. She slaps him again. “Stop confusing me! Stop it stop it stop it!” Claire says. “OUCH! You cute bitch!” Kye says. Claire elbows him in his crotch. “AHHH!!!!” Kye yells. “Stop….causing…me….pain….you…..just look……….hotter….” Kye manages to say. “Shut up shut up!” Claire says with a smile pushing Kye off the bed by mistake. “Ouch………….” Kye says. “Oops I’m sorry.” Claire helps him up. “You’re so lucky you’re blonde and cute.” Kye says. “And you’re lucky I’m taking that as a compliment.” Claire says. Claire kisses Kye on his badly bruised and battered cheek softly. “Ouch.” Kye said. “What was that?” He says. “Your sweet. Hope you know that Kye.” Claire says. “Now show me these so-called demon powers you keep claiming you have.” Claire says. “Finally.” Kye says. Kye, carefully getting out of bed with the assistance of Claire, stands carefully. Slowly, his skin turns a reddish color, his jacket turning the same color, slowly forming wings, then his shirt turns into his skin, then he grows claws, T-Rex-like toes, two fangs, a long, scaly tail, his ears more pointy, and two sharp horns on his head. Finally, a dull red orb in the center of his chest, and his hair unchanged. “Ahh!” Claire says in awe. “You wanted a demon, well, you got one.” says Kye. Kye, weakened, turns back to normal. “Ah…” says Kye. “You ok?” says Claire. “Yea” says Kye. 2 Weeks Later: Claire, sitting on her bed in her underwear, was writing in her diary. ‘Dear Diary, it’s been 2 weeks since we found Kye, and he kinda fits in. He wants to go attack the Government officials strolling in town looking for him. I personally don’t want him hurt. If he died, I don’t know what I would do without him. I guess you can say I…kinda…..’ “Hello!” Kye says as he bursts through the door. “EEEK!” yells Claire covering herself up with the diary. “What do you want?!” she says. “Ooooh, well, well, well what do we have here!” Kye says as he snatches the diary from her. “Hey! Give it back!” she says, reaching for it. “Claire’s Diary, oooooh, jackpot! Now let’s see……hmmm……..page….13! ‘Dear diary, today I asked out Roderick today, but sadly he rejected me!’ HAHAHA! THAT’S HILARIUS!” Kye says cruelly. “Give it back!” Claire says, snatching the diary. Kye, still laughing, looks at her. “Why are you in here anyways Kye?!” Claire says. “Because, it’s fun to pick with you.” Kye says. “Get out! Can’t you see I’m busy?!” Claire says. “Nope.”, says Kye. “Plus, I’m in my underwear!” she says. “Pfft, I’ve seen the 3rd Level of Hell, Lust, down there the women are naked, beaten to humanly death, and then the men have their….” Kye explains. “Umm…..never mind.” he says. “You’re a pervert!” Claire says. “That’s not true! I was raised to be a good demon and laugh at the sinner’s sadness, pain, and remorse! So don’t call me a pervert!” Kye explains. “By the way, your parents wanted me to tell you that you’re going to church.” Kye says. “Then get out! I have to change my clothes!” Claire says. “Fine.” He says. 3 minutes later, they arrive at the church. “I’ll just stay here.” says Kye. VROOOOOM! Kye turns around to see a line of army vehicles going down the road. “Ok, changed my mind.” Kye says. As they get out the car and head for the building, Kye realizes that if he steps into a church, he will burn. Right before he could change his mind, he was already getting quickly dragged into the church, Claire trying to find seats. As the preacher picks volunteers, he chooses Kye.

Dec 27 2012, 03:00 PM

i hope your happy Jenni. you got yourself a new fucking BF. fake or not you seem very happy together. you don't need me at all.

Oct 07 2012, 08:18 AM

randomness #4 announcer:do you have diarrhea? man: no. announcer: do you have diabetes? man: no. announcer:do you have constipation? man:no. announcer:are you gay? man: LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!

Oct 06 2012, 01:49 PM

randomness #3 scientist: so, assistant,if we carry the 2, then the equation works! equation: A=πr^2(x+a)^n=∑_(k=0)^n▒〖(n¦k) x^k a^(n-k) 〗(1+x)^n=1+nx/1!+(n(n-1) x^2)/2!+⋯f(x)=a_0+∑_(n=1)^∞▒(a_n cos⁡〖nπx/L〗+b_n sin⁡〖nπx/L〗 ) a^2+b^2=c^2x=(-b±√(b^2-4ac))/2ae^x=1+x/1!+x^2/2!+x^3/3!+⋯,-∞new equation: (troll face)PI scientist: my life is ruined............. assistant: it's okay. no one could understand it anyways.

Sep 30 2012, 10:49 AM

randomness # 2: cashier:Would..anyone like a Triangle?..o_o costumer:i would like a triangle cashier:What kind of triangle would you like? xD costumer:The one with an triangle shape costumer:the kind that looks like tis: or maybe thiz: ^ cashier:I have one shaped like this: (!"*£!(*)"£!")£!")(£!*"£)> I'm not sure if it's even a triangle, but...hold on..I'll keep looking..xD costumer:okay cashier:I FOUND A , cashier:And yes, sir, I have a ^ costumer:good ill take a circle cashier:Here you go, Sir. That'll be, Seven Rupes, and a shilling costumer:do u have a circle cause i don't want a oh, shes gone............ cashier:Well..I'm not a 'She' but yes.. I do indeed have a circle. xD costumer:oh.............well then ill take..........................a.....................................square...................no wait...........................a circler cashier:God damnit, Take a Rectangle. costumer:but i want a circler!

Sep 28 2012, 03:31 PM

thiz iz my randomness journal choclate covered zombie ferrets with mental issuez like having machine weazels sit on barrels of fun dogz who eat dounutz with a side of goatz for breakfast they also on accation do squatz in front ov your mom on a pizza plate with plenty ov buttz and shtuff while thoz gaotz sing with michel jordan in beat it while justin beiber eats donkey crap made nof cheeze muttated into donkey radish while the sun turnz into gummy fish made of bakon and that turkey over there eatz dog food buttz with an alien who likez too dance to thriller aand a rock band eatz pie, 3.14 eqalz your mom timez infinity timezs awsomness. and your mom iz also superm=an who got stabed by batboy in canada while filming the new twilight series and deadpool shot the president in the ballz when he went to Jacobson's house last tuesday and he injoyed it even though hiz mom likez choclate covered zombie ferrets with mental issuez like having machine weazels sit on barrels of fun dogz who eat dounutz with a side of goatz for breakfast they also on accation do squatz in front ov your mom on a pizza plate with plenty ov buttz and shtuff while thoz gaotz sing with michel jordan in beat it while justin beiber eats donkey radish.

Sep 23 2012, 02:11 PM

here is the new story! [Beep,Beep! Beep,Beep! Beep,Beep! Incoming planet Earth! Incoming planet Earth!] Now, on board the largest ship in the Reptilian Army, The Xonoa (ex-own-ya), King Cobrax and Prince Cobrin are heading for Earth. "Prepare for landing sir?", Reptilian Pilot. "Yes.",Cobrax. "What's 'Earth'?",Cobrin."'Earth' is our, hmm, 'temporary' home, son.",Cobrax. "Oh.",Cobrin. Later that week: "What!?! You expect me to just give my daughter away like that you..you..giant, lizard, thing?!?",Jeffrey. "No! Just to marry my son!",Cobrax. "Ah! Fine! But if she dies, I'll find and kill you!",Jeffrey. "Good. Cobrin, human morph now.",Cobrax. "Huh? Oh, oh okay.",Cobrin. "What?!? That's unfair, that's, that's cheating!",Jeffrey."1, there are no rules, 2,how else is he going to go to school? 3, did you really expect a white dragon to keep his word? ",Cobrax. "Ugh! Daughters! Wake up! We have guests!",Jeffrey. The three girls walk in the room. "*yawn* Could you keep it down, *yawn* I'm trying to sleep.",Fiona. "What's the problem?", Christine."And all the yelling, sheesh.",Tina."Christine, Tina, Fiona, I'd like you to meet Cobrax and Cobrin.",Jeffrey. (in a whisper) "He's cute.",Tina."A little to young for my taste",Fiona."How old is he?",Christine. "Hi, I'm Cobrin Cobra, nice to meet you.",Cobra. (he puts his hand out to shake) "Girls, where's your manners?!?",Jeffrey."Hi, I'm Tina.",Tina."I'm Christine.",Christine."And I'm Fiona.",Fiona. "Tina, my oldest, is 12 years old, Fiona is 10, and finally, Christine, my youngest, is 9.",Jeffrey. "What a coincidence, Cobra is 9 as well.",Cobrax. For the first time, there eyes met, Cobra's and Christine's. Some could say this was love at first sight. They'd be wrong.