I've been diagnosed with depression.  But, you know, it is great that I participate in social media.  It keeps my mind off of those things I hate about myself.  I learned that if you hate yourself, you hate people more and more until finally you just cut yourself off from the rest of the world to await your death.  But, no, I don't allow myself to drown in misery, despite the fact that my worst fear has come to life (of being alone, utterly and totally alone from where I stand).  What I do is try to have my friends around to talk to, even though I know they can't help me with my problems.

I've stabbed myself with forks, cut myself with glass, hit myself in the face to hard I put myself bruises on it, and that sort of helps with the anger part of my life, but I am trying to ease myself away from it.  It's harder than I thought, and it fucking sucks.  To be honest, it's hard in life, and I'm scared of growing up because I know I'm gonna be alone.  But, despite this fear, I face the future with courage.

Please, don't hate me.  I'm not asking for your love or respect, just that you don't hate me.

In other notes:  I used to be a gamer before my 360 caught the Red Ring of Death; I love games with RPG elements most but I play others anyway; I love to read books with a mix of action and romance; and, furthermore, I like anime, but it has to have at least a little bit of romance, no matter how violent.

Beyond the Boundary (Kyoukai no Kanata)

Elfen Lied

Sword Art Online

Soul Eater

Attack on Titan

Parasyte -the maxim-

Terminator (all of them)

Bleach

One Piece

and the list just goes on

iBoy by Kevin Brooks

The Chaos Walking Trilogy by Patrick Ness

1984 by George Orwell

The Heir Series by Cinda Williams Chima

Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo

Witch and Wizard by James Patterson

The Wardstone Chronicles/The Last Apprentice Series by Joseph Delaney

Daniel Half Human and the Good Nazi by David Chotjewitz and Doris Orgel

Brain Jack by Brian L. Faulkner

more and more as the list goes on