May 09 2015, 02:07 PM

Uh hi. I'm quite new here and uh... Not exactly the type to do these things really. So uh... Here it goes. I've been searching for my sister who got adopted out when I was 4. Before anyone says that "your mother must've done something really bad to have that happen." Well the only reason why my mom put her up for adoption is because of her father, who raped my older sister to protect uh... Lets just call her C and my other sister Crystal. It was supposed to be an open adoption but soon after her adoptive parents moved away to an unknown location and changed her name and their phone number. We have been looking for her ever since. We found her not long ago on YouTube and we found out that her adoptive parents lied to her. They said that my mom beated her and all that. WHICH IS NOT TRUE. Not to her at least. Soon after my mother sent her a message and she replied back, her parents blocked us off of her profile. Which we could only see a little bit of what she said to my mom. My mom used to be a very bad person. She did drugs, beated my older brothers and sisters, worked at strip club, ECT. She was a lot of things. My mother has turned around a lot, but is still pretty fucking strict and mean. Instead of all the drugs, she became a pastor. I know, ridiculous. And ever since a couple of years ago, shes been forcing religion on me and my other siblings. But anyways, back on the subject. My sister found her on instagram but refused to stay quiet (because talking to her worked out so well the last time) and followed her, liked all her pictures, and commented. I, the smart one, didnt because I know what she's going through. All the pain of the past and fear of social workers. Going so far to even cut herself. I haven't been in her position, but I know that if all of a sudden my blood sister messaged me, I would be freaking out on what to do. So what I'm doing is taking it slow. . . . . C, if u see this. We're more alike than anyone else in the family. Hell, our baby pictures to this day are still mixed up. I know what you're going through and I can understand. But when you feel its time, you can message me. You're almost 18 and we just live a few hours away. Your family is here, waiting. Mom ain't so bad once you get to know her. And if I know anything, she will try her best not to push you away (like if she talks about god and you dont want to, thats fine). She's been looking everywhere. I wont judge you, not like mom will. I'll accept you for who you are (aka I'm the best sister in the world ^.^ lol jk I try). I know you're feeling all this pain. And its ok to feel scared or confused or alone. But your not alone. I haven't cut til march. I've been trying hard. And you should too. I love you, C. And ill always be here.