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xxBeautyFromPainxx's Journal

Pages: 1 2 Next Last | Total Journal Entries: 37

Feb 24 2020, 04:55 PM

Ya know, I haven't been able to cry for a long time. All I can do anymore is laugh, probably because I'm just a joke lol. My family is as clueless as ever and my new friends are starting to get a bit pushy but why the hell would I tell them things that would only make them run away? Why can't people respect the fact I just don't talk about shit anymore? I do it for them lol.

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Feb 23 2020, 04:25 AM

Turned 23 today and not gunna lie some of my older journal entries made me cringe a bit.. but I figured an updated one was due..not much is different except I'm older and I'm not trying to kill myself as obviously as I used to. That's what smoking and drinking is for :D But I missed you all and I'm still here for anyone who needs to talk/vent or needs advice.

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Jan 16 2014, 10:32 AM

it amazes me how i went from having it all to losing it all. i woke up feeling great now i wake up wishing that i didnt. everyday is just another struggle. i keep wondering, whats my purpose? why am i still alive? when can i finally die? im tired of crying. im tired of suffering. frankly, im tired of living..living like this anyways..i want to be happy. but those dreams died long ago. today shall be my 11th attempt. lets hope it will be my final and successful attempt. i wish you all the best.

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Oct 17 2013, 05:42 PM

is it real or just another crush..?

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Oct 13 2013, 01:40 PM

I thought we'd always be together..always inseperable..i fucked up so bad..i'm pretty sure there's a spot for me in hell for what i did..i lost the only thing that ever made me feel alive and like i was something instead of nothing..who is responsible you may ask? ..i am...
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Oct 03 2013, 06:15 PM

im fuckin sick of all this shit! why do people hate me for no god damn reason?! i know i havent done ANYTHING to ANYONE so why are people hating on me! People expect me to not feel worthless but how can i feel like something special if people are constantly bringing me down! I fuckin hate this! if i stay and live, people torture me. if i kill myself ill be hated and judged even more..WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO! IVE NEVER FELT MORE STUCK IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!

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Sep 29 2013, 06:31 PM

someone KiK me please!! its xxsacrificedxx i wanna meet new people

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Feb 15 2013, 01:06 PM

pierced my lip x.x hurts like fuck but totally worth it ^^

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Jan 29 2013, 06:28 PM

It burns for a moment but, but then it numbs you. takes you and leaves you just caught in the grey..
every time i listen to this song i cry because i just wish i felt numb. i cant take pain dammit. every time im finally happy, someone has to ruin it for me or i have to fuck something up. honestly, if i wasnt so afraid of death, i'd be 6 ft under. i really dont have a reason to live. my brother hates me, my parents want nuthing to do with me, every boy i date cheats on me, i have no friends..i have NOTHING. im hated but i just dont know why..i havent done anything to anyone dammit! so whatever..i wont be missed and i have nothing to miss..

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Jan 09 2013, 05:50 PM

damn...havent been on here in ages! missed you guys ;c

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Dec 09 2012, 10:11 AM

~You're so tired, trying to rewind the mess you've made of you're own mind, but the pieces won't pick up themselves you know. You can fight, just like you've been taught, it won't undo the life you've got, cause the pieces won't pick up themselves you know.~

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Dec 08 2012, 03:34 PM

Just uploaded my 2nd video :D subscribe to my channel its Jenny Jenocide

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Dec 07 2012, 05:39 AM

I filmed my first youtube video last night :D took me 5 fuckin hours to edit tht bitch x.x oh well it was worth it :D help me out guys by subscribing and requesting videos cause i dont know what i should do for my next video o.O here's the video check it out :D


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Nov 25 2012, 08:08 PM

I'm emo. Deal with it. It doesn't mean i'm a freak it means i have more pain than you do.

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Nov 25 2012, 12:51 PM

So I couldn't dye my hair pink like I wanted to :[ oh well. I dyed it black instead :D it actually looks really nice so i'm happy ^.^ now all I need is a cupcake with blue frosting then i'll be complete xD

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Nov 13 2012, 07:44 AM

---------------->PLEASE READ MEH!!<--------------------
I just wanted to say thank you to all of you for being there for me. you;ve all helped me realize that im not alone that there are others out there who feel like i do and im so happy that i can come to you guys I love you all so much and even if i may not know you too well you have a special place in my heart :) lately, ive been thinking of dying my hair yet again xD at first i was considering blonde with blue at the tips of my hair and bangs but now im thinking of going with something a bit more daring..any ideas? i'm honestly open to any suggestions the crazier and more colorful the better ^.^ <3

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Nov 02 2012, 01:00 PM

i dont think ive ever felt more alone in my life..its so hard not having any friends, not even being able to go to school w/o the fear of being harrassed..why must people hurt us? destroy us? make us feel so insignificant? what have we done? all we do is express the pain we feel and instead of hope and comfort all we get is more pain..im so sick of the pain..its easier to face a gunshot wound than the pain eating at my already broken heart..i just wish that there was someone who understood the pain and suffering i feel...i just feel so alone..please, can anyone please help me find a reason to live?

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Oct 12 2012, 11:00 AM

Please..PLEASE any1! Please, just kill me now and end this pain already..

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Oct 09 2012, 09:25 AM

I fuckin hate people. It's as though everyone in this fucked up planet has no consideration of another person. I just wanna isolate myself..at least the people I already know won't hurt me. FUCK THIS GOD-FORSAKEN PLANET!!

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Oct 06 2012, 10:47 AM

Hello, i'm your mind giving you someone to talk to...hello...

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Pages: 1 2 Next Last | Total Journal Entries: 37