Aug 18 2014, 05:21 AM

Truth and Consequences The bonfire. Jay was present and accounted for. It was the moment to advance. Or, as Lisa would have it, the moment to simmer. There was no way I could talk to Jay covered in sticky rice. Was the universe throwing obstacles in my way to keep me from making a mistake? Or was I just screwed? Lisa was giving me a Viagra-hard time about the Jay status…because she was reeling about our own status as friends. Apparently, my convo with Jay wasn’t the only talk that I needed to have. I needed to DTR with Lisa But, at the moment, the dumpster hump was my primary objective. And good news! Jay didn’t have the pink. But that wasn’t gonna stop me from DTR-ing and he was giving me the sign! That he was nervous. Which meant he was vulnerable. Which meant the iron was hot and it was time to strike. So I broke my promise. I hooked up before we DTR’d. Sue me. Some promises were made to be broken… …And some promises were never made. jay didn’t want to be in a relationship with me. As we walked through the remnants of the parking lot, it looked exactly how I felt – post-apocalyptic. It felt like everything had changed. But nothing had changed. Except that I finally knew the score. He asked if I was cool just being casual. I wasn’t cool with it. But I told him I was. I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t be honest… Speaking of honesty, for weeks, I assumed the letter was an evil indictment of the person who wrote it. But then it hit me—what if the author was just being honest? I couldn’t hate them for that. Just like I couldn’t hate Jay. He had been honest. Something I wasn’t brave enough to do. But Lisa was. And even though I didn’t have a relationship with Jay, I did have a relationship with Lisa…and it was time for her to know that I cherished it.