Aug 10 2012, 09:48 PM

staring at my phone wishing he'd text saying it was a mistake, but i guess i should probably move on...right i cant go anywhere if i dwell in the past right? and if I'm single ill be able to keep my grades up cuz i can work on school and marching and band without distractions maybe its good to be single.. i think i know why i am like i am but all i know is the reason i don't work being single is i don't like being alone all my growing up was alone I was really clingy but there was no one to cling to FUCK! i figured out my fucking problems why i love to feel arms around me in a embrace full hug of the one I love I i throw the word love so easily i never grew up with love in a family so i don't know what it looks like I grew up around sickness and loosing people.. and when i feel in love...I'm afraid of continuing the loss

Jul 25 2012, 02:04 AM

I live in a hole of lies :( Everywhere I look is just lie after lie. LIES: The awards hanging in my room -lies- The marching band music taped to the walls making me seem like a bigger nerd than I am and the clarinet lying around -lies- I can't play that shit! I haven't since I was 11 I can only truly play bass. The guitar I have sitting in the corner -lies- the bitch downstairs won't let me learn. Same with the sewing machine -lies- And the selves after selves of books -lies- I never get the fucking time to read. The dresses in my closet -lies- Please bitch I only have those for church! Oh church! My scriptures down in the car bitch please -LIES!- The smile I put on -lies!!!!!- How I can always keep my cool and have fun -lies!- TRUTH IS: I couldn't play basket ball they just gave me the award cuz I was on the team. I only got the science Ones cuz I volunteer all the time. I fucking suck at language arts she only gave it to me cuz I right good story's. Like I said I can only play bass clarinet. My mom never fully goes threw with anything So of course I'm not allowed to. I'm always doing things for the other bitches occupying this he'll hole. Truth is that smiles fake bitches. And I never cry cuz when I was young me step dad yelled at me when I did and said I don't have a right to cry unless I broke something or someone died so I grew up crying in my closet... Still to this day..you may see me smile but truthfully when I go home I lock my doors and sob. I wish I could tell my mother :( I also wish I could say: Ya I'm bisexual, bipolar, depressed, I still cut, I hate you,I'm not moving out of California, go suck a dick and die in the hell you created!!!!!!!!!! But I can't sooooo....... Ya... Sorry for venting and rambling but I needed to :,C I'm sick and tired of trying to get her "ok" in life and what I do... I'm just gonna start giving up slowly.... Cuz I can't take it anymore.

May 15 2012, 11:57 PM

I saw you again tonight, You looked good in your tux, Your hair all ruffled, Your glasses were off, You looked so different, But I know why. You look different cuz now I know the true you. After wasting almost 2 years on you, I finally realize how much of a player you are. How much of a bitch, & a user you are. I hate your guts! Just looking at you I wonder, 'what did I ever see in you?' Well I'm over you! I have found a new love! Who treats me better than you ever have! So next time you try crawling back to me! Think again!!!

Apr 14 2012, 10:18 PM

I love him so much! Have you ever loved someone so much that you would die for them? Well I have I love him so much I never want to let him go, but I know one day in the future we will go different ways...but right now I'm holding onto this...we have been together since Febuary 9... I always saw him around School & always saw him with one of my groups of friends..but I didn't really know him (heck I didn't even know his name) But one day when I felt the lowest I had ever felt and felt ready to do myself in at any time I got a text from a random number it had said "hey it's Skyler from school...I noticed that you looked really sad today..are you okay?" (something along those lines) than I asked one of my friends if this Skyler person was who I thought they were..and it was.."the really tall guy with the longer blond hair, that wears a purple jacket & skinny jeans & hangs out with my friends Sierra, Corbin, Jake, Mikia, & Angelo and she said ya... So I lied and said "ya I just wasnt feeling good today" and from there we got to know each other....we became each others Valentines than each others love..it's been 3 months so far,..hopefully it last so much longer :3