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myHEART!help me if you can this is more than me i'm crying blood my heart is bleeding this is who i am no one knows no one cares no one understands you killed it you killed my heart you stabed it till you got blisters on your hands my bleeding heart!!! XXmy bleeding heartXX, by love is red death is black

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soEmo.co.uk - Emo Kids - xxsensitive_rosexx

xxsensitive_rosexx

Rhiannon
22 / Female / Halloween town, United Kingdom
Pansexual / Forever Alone
Member since: Mar 23, 2022
Last online: Jun 25, 2022

Current rating: 9.6/10 (7 votes cast)

About Me

 Some of you may recognise me from VF ( Vampirefreaks) I was a bit upset when that site shut down as it was the only place I could actually be myself and talk to people so I thought I would give this a try ☺️

Just here to meet new and exciting people and hopefully to make new friends ☺️ so hit me up! 

I pretty the term independent instead of single and I'm quite happy by myself...less abuse and drama 🙂

Im really into the supernatural/ paranormal side. I love going to Durham or York to learn about the gruesome history. I love walking around historical buildings, cathedrals and graveyards.

I do poetry and creative writing... I've put the link below so I would really appreciate it if any of you could read my latest novel thankyou. ☺️ https://www.quotev.com/story/14781957/Never-left/1

Favourite Music

Black veil brides/ Sleeping with sirens/ palaye royale/ bullet for my valentine/ Evanescence/ fame of fire/ Eva Under fire / Bad Wolves  and many more and 80s . I'm more into the rock, punk rock era .Music is my own company and a big part of my life🖤☺️

When I die, I want ' Torch' by Black veil brides to be my send off 

Favourite Films / TV / Books

Supernatural ( Dean is so hot🖤🔥), the vampire diaries,  outlander any gothic/ fantasy series or historical ones. Gothic fantasy/ romance novels like fallen series by Lauren Kate I'm more of a series fan on Netflix.

Im really into paranormal shows like Ghost inside my child/ Ghost adventures/ Ghost Hunters any form of Supernatural documentaries.

I also like old TV shows like Buffy the vampire slayer/ Angel/ Ghost Whisper.

I also have been listening to audible, it helps me sleep and honestly... I prefer listening then actually reading 😂

Education / Occupation

 I'm a full time exotic dancer.... 😂 nah not really I would like to be. I'm a student at college , I'm unsure where I would see myself in the future but I'm trying to head in the digital marketing industry.


I went back to college after the pandemic and I did a L2 Counseling skills but knew it wasn't the right career path for me so I just focused on maths and English exams, trying to work my way to a Level 1 or 2 and I'm currently finishing a L2 Buisness Administration. 

Hopefully I'm going to volunteer at a church try to be free from my demons as I suffer mental health , hopefully to see a light for once and build my confidence again ☺️ 



Who I'd Like To Meet

Andy biersack all the way baby 🤤 but I'd also like to meet Kim hyun joong... He's my type but I don't really know much Korean 😂 and other famous people from my favourite bands but there's like alot. I would also love to meet my crush ...that would be haven ❤️💔

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Emo Pictures - gaga1867
gaga1867
Jun 09 2022, 07:10 AM

Hey Rhiannon Andrew here just thought I'd pop onto the site to say hi feel free to message me any time love to hear back from you hugs all around yeah cheers:/

  • Please note: Comments soEmo.co.uk considers to be totally unrelated spam will be removed.
  • Please note: Comments soEmo.co.uk considers to be totally unrelated spam will be removed.

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Journal

Jun 23 2022, 04:28 PM

Ticking bombs 

I do want him back in my life... But then I don't ... because he'll just emotionally hurt me even more. It's not fair , how I miss him when he doesn't even miss me . obviously I want someone in my life , but clearly Cupid doesn't want me . I'm not trying long distance again because that'll just hurt even more.i know it sounds selfish and shallow... But it has to be him , he's all I want , all I think about his voice, his face , i love when he says my name and calls me darling. I can't help but melt inside over and over again ... He's beautiful and attractive even though he takes pics half of his face .... I could just lose myself in his emerald forest eyes, reach through the screen to his thick tender lips, ruffle his golden hair, feel his heat, be safe in his strong arms.... I know I can keep dreaming, I know it'll never happen , how stupid was I to think he was that into me ... To me everything felt nice and natural .. I honestly don't care about starting a family ... All I care about is him ... Sure it'll be nice to create one but I don't care...but I guess I'll never speak to him again.


Jun 23 2022, 12:11 PM

Running up that hill

It upsets me how no one sees how confident I've become... I may not be a talkative person or socially interactive with others but it doesn't mean I'm not confident I just prefer my own company and independence. I feel more happier and calmer when I'm alone and do stuff for myself. Sure it'll be nice to be in a relationship or a friendship but you may not get any freedom etc.


We all make mistakes in our lives, but we can always learn and resolve them if people were given the opportunity to solve the problem and try again the next day or in the future 🙂...it's important to not give up and to follow the light at the end of that tunnel.




Jun 19 2022, 06:41 PM

Queen of mean

I don't mean to be a nasty bitch ... I've just been hurt and broken for awhile now. Why should I be happy for other people who are happy with someone when I'm not? I'm done crying over him.... It's annoying as he always pops in my head and eats me alive .... Sometimes I just think he pretended to be interested in me just to kick me down .... Why the fuck should I apologize to him ? I'm done apologizing , I'm not apologizing for having a stupid fucking crush..... That's what guys see me as .... An easy target.... Well fuck you I'm stronger than you think.


Jun 09 2022, 06:16 PM

Ghost

I'm going to try and get my life back on track... But it's hard when others don't want to help or give you an opportunity. Like attending to an interview and they don't get back to you or send you a kick in the bolloks email saying you were 'unsuccessful'... I hate that word, I bet millions do. To me, everyone is successful at anything... It's just other people up their own arseholes by not giving others a chance. Like I'm hurendous in interviews when I know it's just a normal conversation about your experience ... But I tend to stutter and get my words out.

I'm glad I got invited to a trail shift as a part time bar assistant...But it was only yesterday they said that they weren't requiring anymore shifts as they always changed their minds ...I hate in emails when they say ' I'm very sorry you are disappointed'.... Well wouldn't you be fucking disappointed! I was really happy for once that I finally got a job ... Then they shit all over my faith.... Lack of customers that was it but yet they buisness throws events plus the coffee machine was broken. If it was me , I would ensure everything was working before I start hiring people and people give us crap by not being punctual or organised!

I hate the word unemployed, it makes me sound like an overweight person who sits at home watching TV eating my depression and bordem away on food. That's my nightmare coming true... During the pandemic, I did apply for a job ... But I never thought I would get it but I did even though I didn't want to do it... Yea maybe I do regret it but I don't care , I don't want customers judging me by the way I look... Mostly young people do it school kids or college students . I am nearly approaching 23 but it still bothers me sometimes even though I try and not care as much ... Like I don't understand why people judge others based on their looks.

Well I can't imagine he will fancy me now since I'm going back to that over caring and constantly worrying ... People say I do but honestly I don't see it . Lack of confidence and communication is a put off aswell... Well what's the point when there's nothing to talk about ?


I just think people need to help others about more by offering support to people and to give people a fair chance ...cut out the rejection and judgements then everything would be happy☺️



Jun 07 2022, 05:40 PM

To my dear friend Rose,

I hope you're alright . I've noticed that you've came off of this site and Snapchat. I've enjoyed talking with you, and feel like we've became great friends within a few days ☺️ I'll try and not worry too much about you as I know you're going through a difficult time, I hope you stay strong and I hope to hear from you again.

I'll be waiting my you until you return but in the meantime , stay safe and take care of yourself you'll get through this I promise ❤️

Jun 04 2022, 06:28 PM

Time Stops

I literally give up... He clearly doesn't give a fuck about me so why should I care about him ? I don't think God wants me to be happy with anyone...fair enough . I can dream as much as I want, hoping to hear from him again and give it a shot ... unfortunately it's reality . All I want to do is close my eyes and stay asleep and never wake up.



Jun 02 2022, 02:36 PM

Broken

All I can visualize is him... I really want him back in my life again, he was the reason why I felt so much confident again. I miss him so much but question is... Does he miss me? .. does he want me back in his life?, I can't help but wonder if he's with someone else ... Why kills me inside. Do I hate him ? ...yes ... But no... Life is too short for so much hate. I want him to feel the same , all I think about is him I want him so badly he's worth everything ... But I'm not worth anything to him . I guess he'll find someone better than me I'm sure he has, it hurts so much knowing that I don't mean anything to him. 💔


May 30 2022, 04:54 PM

Obvious

If he ever comes back in my life... I'll just pretend I don't even care.. even though I do, I'll just say ' do whatever you want' or ' date whoever you want ' ...why does my happiness matter to him anyway? All he's ever done is hurt me , so why the hell do I love him? He thinks he's an honest respectful person ...bullshit , his beautiful disguise doesn't fool anyone , he may have the looks and the charms ... how dare he use me like that , seems to me he just tried to tease me and treat me like shit in the end .... Why? He said he felt the same ...but he wouldn't remember what he said to me anyway ...Go to hell and don't crawl out. I won't let you treat me like one of your slags manwhore!





May 29 2022, 07:48 PM

American dream

Not a day goes by and I think of you... How your doing, what you're doing... Your voice that melts my insides everytime I hear it or your beautiful face ...that I could stare at every single day. Yes you may have been an ass but ...I forgive you ... Why? ... Cuz Im madly in love with you , I care for you .. even though I know you don't give a shit about me and probably have moved on without giving me a chance ... Giving us a chance . It hurts so much ,as I always think of you ... You probably may think of me as a freak or a creepy stalker. It annoys the hell outta me as I know there's no way in contact with you . . So I have to bottle up my pain and to carry on with my life without you. I would do anything to speak with you again, it's annoying how your mate can't pass on a fucking message to you because I know you won't talk to me... I don't understand why , what I've done ... I thought everything was going great , the communication, banta and connection was definitely there. I didn't mean to piss you off or anything I just kept messaging you because I was scared ... I was scared to loose contact with you , incase you forgot about me. I should hate you ...but I don't, I never have and I never will... Even though we don't talk anymore ... That I'm nothing to you ... You'll always be in my heart. Maybe I am disrespectful by not giving you space ... I just didn't want to lose you 😢... But I guess I did ...I don't think I could ever move on ..but you have.


May 04 2022, 05:42 PM

Make believe

I have always hate falling for someone you can never have.... It's been months since we last spoke and I tried letting go. To push him out of my thoughts completely... Focusing on myself and met someone new , who's kind, thoughtful and respectful. But it's the distance that's bothering me since past night ... and now, I keep thinking about that other guy... He's voice, his face ... The conversations we had over the phone , talking to him was alot different than other conversations I've had. He seemed more confident, happy and kept the communication flowing and I liked that ... I miss that. I did hope to meet , I tried making arrangements ... He always denied. 


Most of the time, I keep hoping and praying to he that deep and husky voice again. Excitement used to race through me everytime he called , we used to sit there on the phone for hours and I... I potentially thought things were going really well and things could of led to somewhere ... How stupid was I ? He's so out of my league anyway. Why would an athletic party animal in the military go for a gothic emotional book worm anyway. Honestly, I don't really enjoy reading .... I only read in public places because I can feel tons of eyes watching me, sometimes I may not have access to WiFi and I don't like using mobile data ... He was the only excitement I had , I don't just love him in a sexual way ... I just enjoyed his company. He says he's bipolar and he does shut people out as he told me... I just never knew he would shut me out when he told me that he was into me. What really surprised me was that he blocked me on Instagram... Now I know he won't talk to me ever again ... Maybe I said some wrong things aswell but I wished I had the opportunity to apologize, I have asked his mate to pass a message on ...but he refused. Guess I'm just stuck like this for eternity.


Jun 23 2022, 04:28 PM

Ticking bombs 

I do want him back in my life... But then I don't ... because he'll just emotionally hurt me even more. It's not fair , how I miss him when he doesn't even miss me . obviously I want someone in my life , but clearly Cupid doesn't want me . I'm not trying long distance again because that'll just hurt even more.i know it sounds selfish and shallow... But it has to be him , he's all I want , all I think about his voice, his face , i love when he says my name and calls me darling. I can't help but melt inside over and over again ... He's beautiful and attractive even though he takes pics half of his face .... I could just lose myself in his emerald forest eyes, reach through the screen to his thick tender lips, ruffle his golden hair, feel his heat, be safe in his strong arms.... I know I can keep dreaming, I know it'll never happen , how stupid was I to think he was that into me ... To me everything felt nice and natural .. I honestly don't care about starting a family ... All I care about is him ... Sure it'll be nice to create one but I don't care...but I guess I'll never speak to him again.


Comments (Add Comment)

Jun 23 2022, 12:11 PM

Running up that hill

It upsets me how no one sees how confident I've become... I may not be a talkative person or socially interactive with others but it doesn't mean I'm not confident I just prefer my own company and independence. I feel more happier and calmer when I'm alone and do stuff for myself. Sure it'll be nice to be in a relationship or a friendship but you may not get any freedom etc.


We all make mistakes in our lives, but we can always learn and resolve them if people were given the opportunity to solve the problem and try again the next day or in the future 🙂...it's important to not give up and to follow the light at the end of that tunnel.




Comments (Add Comment)

Jun 19 2022, 06:41 PM

Queen of mean

I don't mean to be a nasty bitch ... I've just been hurt and broken for awhile now. Why should I be happy for other people who are happy with someone when I'm not? I'm done crying over him.... It's annoying as he always pops in my head and eats me alive .... Sometimes I just think he pretended to be interested in me just to kick me down .... Why the fuck should I apologize to him ? I'm done apologizing , I'm not apologizing for having a stupid fucking crush..... That's what guys see me as .... An easy target.... Well fuck you I'm stronger than you think.


Comments (Add Comment)

Jun 09 2022, 06:16 PM

Ghost

I'm going to try and get my life back on track... But it's hard when others don't want to help or give you an opportunity. Like attending to an interview and they don't get back to you or send you a kick in the bolloks email saying you were 'unsuccessful'... I hate that word, I bet millions do. To me, everyone is successful at anything... It's just other people up their own arseholes by not giving others a chance. Like I'm hurendous in interviews when I know it's just a normal conversation about your experience ... But I tend to stutter and get my words out.

I'm glad I got invited to a trail shift as a part time bar assistant...But it was only yesterday they said that they weren't requiring anymore shifts as they always changed their minds ...I hate in emails when they say ' I'm very sorry you are disappointed'.... Well wouldn't you be fucking disappointed! I was really happy for once that I finally got a job ... Then they shit all over my faith.... Lack of customers that was it but yet they buisness throws events plus the coffee machine was broken. If it was me , I would ensure everything was working before I start hiring people and people give us crap by not being punctual or organised!

I hate the word unemployed, it makes me sound like an overweight person who sits at home watching TV eating my depression and bordem away on food. That's my nightmare coming true... During the pandemic, I did apply for a job ... But I never thought I would get it but I did even though I didn't want to do it... Yea maybe I do regret it but I don't care , I don't want customers judging me by the way I look... Mostly young people do it school kids or college students . I am nearly approaching 23 but it still bothers me sometimes even though I try and not care as much ... Like I don't understand why people judge others based on their looks.

Well I can't imagine he will fancy me now since I'm going back to that over caring and constantly worrying ... People say I do but honestly I don't see it . Lack of confidence and communication is a put off aswell... Well what's the point when there's nothing to talk about ?


I just think people need to help others about more by offering support to people and to give people a fair chance ...cut out the rejection and judgements then everything would be happy☺️



Comments (Add Comment)

Jun 07 2022, 05:40 PM

To my dear friend Rose,

I hope you're alright . I've noticed that you've came off of this site and Snapchat. I've enjoyed talking with you, and feel like we've became great friends within a few days ☺️ I'll try and not worry too much about you as I know you're going through a difficult time, I hope you stay strong and I hope to hear from you again.

I'll be waiting my you until you return but in the meantime , stay safe and take care of yourself you'll get through this I promise ❤️

Comments (Add Comment)

Jun 04 2022, 06:28 PM

Time Stops

I literally give up... He clearly doesn't give a fuck about me so why should I care about him ? I don't think God wants me to be happy with anyone...fair enough . I can dream as much as I want, hoping to hear from him again and give it a shot ... unfortunately it's reality . All I want to do is close my eyes and stay asleep and never wake up.



Comments (Add Comment)

Jun 02 2022, 02:36 PM

Broken

All I can visualize is him... I really want him back in my life again, he was the reason why I felt so much confident again. I miss him so much but question is... Does he miss me? .. does he want me back in his life?, I can't help but wonder if he's with someone else ... Why kills me inside. Do I hate him ? ...yes ... But no... Life is too short for so much hate. I want him to feel the same , all I think about is him I want him so badly he's worth everything ... But I'm not worth anything to him . I guess he'll find someone better than me I'm sure he has, it hurts so much knowing that I don't mean anything to him. 💔


Comments (Add Comment)

May 30 2022, 04:54 PM

Obvious

If he ever comes back in my life... I'll just pretend I don't even care.. even though I do, I'll just say ' do whatever you want' or ' date whoever you want ' ...why does my happiness matter to him anyway? All he's ever done is hurt me , so why the hell do I love him? He thinks he's an honest respectful person ...bullshit , his beautiful disguise doesn't fool anyone , he may have the looks and the charms ... how dare he use me like that , seems to me he just tried to tease me and treat me like shit in the end .... Why? He said he felt the same ...but he wouldn't remember what he said to me anyway ...Go to hell and don't crawl out. I won't let you treat me like one of your slags manwhore!





Comments (Add Comment)

May 29 2022, 07:48 PM

American dream

Not a day goes by and I think of you... How your doing, what you're doing... Your voice that melts my insides everytime I hear it or your beautiful face ...that I could stare at every single day. Yes you may have been an ass but ...I forgive you ... Why? ... Cuz Im madly in love with you , I care for you .. even though I know you don't give a shit about me and probably have moved on without giving me a chance ... Giving us a chance . It hurts so much ,as I always think of you ... You probably may think of me as a freak or a creepy stalker. It annoys the hell outta me as I know there's no way in contact with you . . So I have to bottle up my pain and to carry on with my life without you. I would do anything to speak with you again, it's annoying how your mate can't pass on a fucking message to you because I know you won't talk to me... I don't understand why , what I've done ... I thought everything was going great , the communication, banta and connection was definitely there. I didn't mean to piss you off or anything I just kept messaging you because I was scared ... I was scared to loose contact with you , incase you forgot about me. I should hate you ...but I don't, I never have and I never will... Even though we don't talk anymore ... That I'm nothing to you ... You'll always be in my heart. Maybe I am disrespectful by not giving you space ... I just didn't want to lose you 😢... But I guess I did ...I don't think I could ever move on ..but you have.


Comments (Add Comment)

May 04 2022, 05:42 PM

Make believe

I have always hate falling for someone you can never have.... It's been months since we last spoke and I tried letting go. To push him out of my thoughts completely... Focusing on myself and met someone new , who's kind, thoughtful and respectful. But it's the distance that's bothering me since past night ... and now, I keep thinking about that other guy... He's voice, his face ... The conversations we had over the phone , talking to him was alot different than other conversations I've had. He seemed more confident, happy and kept the communication flowing and I liked that ... I miss that. I did hope to meet , I tried making arrangements ... He always denied. 


Most of the time, I keep hoping and praying to he that deep and husky voice again. Excitement used to race through me everytime he called , we used to sit there on the phone for hours and I... I potentially thought things were going really well and things could of led to somewhere ... How stupid was I ? He's so out of my league anyway. Why would an athletic party animal in the military go for a gothic emotional book worm anyway. Honestly, I don't really enjoy reading .... I only read in public places because I can feel tons of eyes watching me, sometimes I may not have access to WiFi and I don't like using mobile data ... He was the only excitement I had , I don't just love him in a sexual way ... I just enjoyed his company. He says he's bipolar and he does shut people out as he told me... I just never knew he would shut me out when he told me that he was into me. What really surprised me was that he blocked me on Instagram... Now I know he won't talk to me ever again ... Maybe I said some wrong things aswell but I wished I had the opportunity to apologize, I have asked his mate to pass a message on ...but he refused. Guess I'm just stuck like this for eternity.


Comments (Add Comment)