Emo Scene Community

Most people see life as a gift but ever since i was born my life has been one big nightmare. My mum and dad split up a few years ago and since then i havnt seen him in 6 years. Pure agony.. i was living with my mums new husband and 3 stepsistrs, they all hated me. Ever since then i guess ive never been right in the head. I know im different but i know im not a complete phsyco. My mum saw the slits on my arm and went crazy.. (she really made me feel better. NOT) She went all crazy and blamed herself.. called my dad and now he thinks im crazy. Ever since that day my life has never been the same.. i dont regret cutting because i probably would have taken my own life. My mum is strict so instead of grounding me she would continuously throws punches at me. She thinks i need to see a physciotrist or whatever or someone that can help me.. i tried so hard to tell her how much pain im in and how everything effects someone life me. I feel like my life was stolen from me, i know im not normal but who is? I Dont know how i got like this and i dont know why im like this its not my fault because i try so hard to impress everyone and make them think im ok but im not. I feel like a nobody.. never had friends never had anyone. Im tired of being lonely i feel like people care but not enough to help or to listen to how i feel. No one has ever asked me they just assume im ok. People out there being starved to death because they dont have access to food or water and innocent children and women being murdered, so why am i here?~ someone who was normal could have my life because i dont want it. I feel selfish if i was to take my own life because theres people in the world that are robbed of there lifes why was i so lucky to live in this country or have all the basic needs in life. Im sitting here... my back sore from my mothers powerful blows and her words repeating in my head..im not normal.. never was and i need help. Help???? I just want someone to hold me and tell me it will be ok but ive got no one. never will.. never did.