Emo Scene Community

I kick n I scream, n most of the time my heads in the clouds. I wonder where I could have been if I hadn’t done what made me who I am now. Its strange to see the real me, and wonder where its always been. Or how I even came to be. I love my mom. I love my dad. But everything I do, just doesn’t feel like it’s ever enough. I think about all the things, I’ve had to give up. I’m still not exactly sure if it really made an impact. But instead I keep on telling people, that every things all right. That I am not mad nor am I sad. But when I’m all alone it sweeps over me like a cold rainy day. To the point where I’m not sure if I can take this anymore. It’s the same old ways that you people say you’ve changed. But deep down to the core I know who my real friends are and were. They love me not for what I have but for who I really am. They come and they go, and yes, dear parents I do really know. But mistakes are mistakes and its time to make my own. I wish not to be judged by words that I say, because many times I say things that I cannot take away. I never get a chance to think about just today. I’m always thinking about the forward, because I know there is no rewind button in reality. Before I do, I think real hard… about what someone else would do. I think about the people it would hurt. About the kind of people I want as my friends. To me it isn’t what you are… to me it is what kind of friend you are to me. My mom is not only my mom she is my friend too. She gives me lots of hugs and replies to my, I love you. A friend should be someone who treats you with respect and sticks up for you even if you’re wrong. But a friend and a mother should let you make your own mistakes. I won’t apologize for all that I have done, because it will only make me a better person in the long run. I am smarter then most people think, and I am stronger too. But my biggest regret now would be all the lies I’ve told, and all the things I’ve hidden n all the times I wanted to say something that meant a lot to me. I never got a chance to say these words, because I knew they would only be judged. But now I don’t care I want you to see, how much I really care, and how much I have grown to be in these 15 years.