I cant escape this hell...
so many times i've tried...
but im still caged inside...
somebody get me through this nightmare, i can't control myself!
So what if you can see, the darkest side of me? No one will ever change this ANIMAL! Animal I Have Become, by Three Days Grace
Allen Staggs
17 / Male / Miami OK, United States
Straight / Broken Hearted
Member since:
Nov 21, 2024
Last online:
Dec 12, 2024
Current rating: 6.3/10 (3 votes cast)
You have rated ToxicThoughts
About Me
Hi my name is Allen and I love to make pop tab jewelry and I was abused sexually and mentally during the first 3 years of my life and it still haunts me to this day
I am adopted and my bio mothers bf raped me and beat me and threw me and locked me in a closet and I beat that door till my knuckles were bleeding but my mom eventually let me out and gave me a hug.
I ate out of the trash most nights just to survive and my older sister got hit by a truck and after that my bio aunt got hyped up on some pills and beat the fucking shit out of me and that's all you really need to know, I won't get into the painful stuff so just shoot me a text and I hope we will be good friends
I love lighting my hands on fire
I love knives
I love monster energy drinks
I love just being able to express myself and I also love lasagna
I am not really for the LGBTQ community but I am also not really against it>
I just believe that people should be themselves and have a good life.
this song has shaped my life so much and I just feel like if you listened to this then maybe you'll begin to understand how I feel on a day to day basis
also just so you all know I am interested in a girl named Scarlet but the reason why I have on my profile that the relationship is complicated is that we are kinda a new thing but she went to LA to go to a family funeral and shes back here again and I tried to talk to her when she got back but she needed space so I have given that to her since every time I decided I should try to comfort her she almost acted out of fear like in a panic sort of way that she needed space so I have just kinda hung low until today when I was in the miss merry Christmas program our school did she said I looked nice and My heart skipped a beat cus I was so excited that she was talking to me again but I didn't want to press her and make her mad at me so I thanked her and smiled then kinda walked away awkwardly and she sent me a text later in the day telling me that she is ready to talk but she wants to talk in person at the end of a parade and I am scared of what she will say tbh.Since she hasn't talked to me in about 9 days I am afraid she will say that we need to end the relationship and I would probably honestly cry right in front of her because I care so much about her that I would give her my everything.I noticed her from day one at the start of the school year and I also have rad and I attach to people very fast but there's also the fact that I fear abandonment so needless to say IM FREAKING OUT MAN.
I just hope she still loves me because people change over time and I know I cant make her decisions so whatever happens I'll just have to be okay with.
my grandma got mad at me yesterday about the music I listen to and how she doesn't like curse words and that it all just feeds my depression and that God doesn't want us to be depressed and I'm sure you can guess what else was said
I just want her to understand that the music I listen to is kind of like a vent and if I were to shut that off I'd bottle it all inside again then the depression would get worse and I'd cut again and she just doesn't get that I need music that I can relate to and use it to get the emotion out and not hold it inside.
tbh my family has crammed Christianity down my throat ever since I was adopted at age 4 and the fact of the matter is if God was real and wanted to help me then he would have done something when I cried myself to sleep night after night asking him for help and a sign. so my family can take their stupid religion and shove it up their A hole and quit getting in my way. I mean are they trying to get me to run away again because they just want to change who I am and not accept who I am.
I have decided I am fully serious about getting snake bite piercings and a septum and I'm gonna gauge it but not too big lol.I also want a hoop through the left side of my nose.
I am also getting the Tragus piercing on my right ear and two helix piercings on my left ear as well as the traditional earlobe piercings for both ears
only thing is I have to wait till I move out to have any of that since my family is strict and the same rule applies for all the tattoos I want but I won't have to wait longer than a year or two for that to happen so I am excited 🖤❤🖤🔥