Emo Scene Community

it was ok just but u will get to be betetr the more u try to write (: so keep up the good work lol x

I think you'd be better doing a longer poem if you have the time. You have a great imagination.

awe okay yeah i will practice some more. :) thanks karin :]

^ awe, yeah i will hopefully when i get finished with high-school in about 4 weeks :) thanks so much matt. your imagination is quite creative as well :)

hm XD matt is not creative when it comes to writing poems thou :O x

I actually really like this for many reasons 1. I like the way free verse poetry sounds (I also write in this style) 2. There is a level of genuine honesty to your writing 3. U use correct word choice throughout which is a huge deal. Too many people compromise their work for words that just dont fit Ok now things to try: 1. I agree with Matt try to write in greater length, you may end up removing alot of the useless stuff and leaving yourself with a great piece of writing 2. Make sure you just write and then edit later if you are worried about the way things sound together as you are writing it will show in your poem. Great job I really enjoyed this!

awe, thank-you so much for your answer! :D much appericated and okay thanks for the tips i will surely edit my work :P i plan on writing more and getting better. Btw, your poems inspire me (just for the record) :)

I like the fact that it is short and compact. It doesn't say much, yet, I'm asking a lot; why didn't she tell? when will she come out of the darkness?. The shadow imagery characterizes the character the "I" quite well as one who is alone and in the dark. But the paradox is you say you are hiding from the light;yet you explore.Are you expressing a failed attempt to search for the light? So the darkness" lost in the darkness of your mind forever."could be interpreted as your memory of the lost person;"the shadow" mentioned earlier. Oh and I like the use of the present continuous tense; it speaks to an ongoing search paralleled with the continuous regret and it makes the poem flow well. I'm not accustomed seeing poems written in such a way; so it's refreshing! ( at times it makes it hard to understand the phrasing though.) Also the switch from I to "your" is interesting as well. It is as though you alienate your self from the person being written about. that's just a short analysis and interpretation of your poem: it's highly possible that that is not what you were hinting at, but, it show that the poem still leaves room for open interpretation and an in depth analysis work on your grammar and spelling to execute an even better poem as well. In short: I like it :) I await in the shadows, hiding from the light, figuring out who would come to find me... I willingly explore beyond my imagination(s) expressing how delicate life truely is with the one you want to tell, but, a force holds you back; regretting afterwards when its too late making that person just a memory lost in the darkness of your mind forever.

thank you for your response :) yeah hopefully after a while i will get better after a few tries....umm, this is how i really feel inside and it was the perfect opportunity to just release the inner thoughts that i have kept in for so long :( so yeah im happy others found this interesting and nice ^_^.