Emo Scene Community

Okay, so let's start from the beginning: All my life I was a grumpy kid I was never happy, I was only happy when I was with my older sister Jo. My sister Sam had left us when I was really young, or before I was born, I can't remember. Then I started at Primary school & it was awful. I got bullied by this popular girl, Jodie & this other girl Phoebe. All my friends liked Jodie & left me for her. The only friend I had that hated Jodie was Matthew. He was French & was so in love with me he chased me around the playground ;pp So then when I was 6, I moved to Bulgaria. My parents put me in a private school for naughty kids....Leonardo DiVinchi. The kids there were spoilt & bullied me badly. Then they moved me to a village school were I went mad, I became really rude & stupid. But then I was diagnosed with scoliosis. We flew back to UK for me to have a proper doctor to tell me what to do because the there was only one doctor specialized in scoliosis treatment & they wanted to operate which was really risky. But something happened in the UK, my depression started. How or why I will never know. I think it was knowing that I had to go back Bulgaria, I loved the UK, I always have. It's the only place I feel like I belong. But sadly, we came back to Bulgaria. My depression got worse. I started cutting, I was only 9. My friend Jade, was suffering from the same but then I found out too late, she wasn't my friend at all, she was just using me. But she still remained my friend even tho I knew I wasn't hers. Then her parent's got so fed up with her bunking school to meet with her boyfriend that she moved back to the UK. She blamed all the bunking off school & everything on me. But I was so afraid to be alone, friendless that I only bunked off school to be with her. Tho she left me to go have sex with her boyfriend. That was when I was nearly raped...Ever since we came to Bulgaria, old men have tried to...>_< I hate it. So my friend left Bulgaria & my boyfriend & I broke up. He started hating me so everyone else did. I became alone, the only friend I had was my blade & collection of sharp objects. My mum pulled me out of depression when I was 10 after that I had my days but not depressed all the time. Then my sister Jo called because my sister Harri who lives with us, Dad died. I'll explain; Eldest Sister is Sam now 27. Second eldest is Jo now 22, 23 in August. Then there's Harri, now 18 & the only one who hasn't left excluding me. They are all daughters of my Mum's ex-ex, Richard. Then there's me, Youngest & only one from my mum's ex, Roger. Now I have a step-dad, Ian. The one who criticizes me & mentally abuses me. Anyway, back to when Jo called. Harri & her just fought over the phone will I stood in the doorway, my heart breaking & drowning in my tears. Finally when she got off the phone, I ran to my room, crying. I stood behind my bedroom door listening to what Harri was saying to Mum. Then I heard it: "She didn't want to talk to George." The words kept running through my head. My sister who I loved & adored with all my heart, doesn't want to talk to me. I was heartbroken. I kept crying non-stop for 4 days. But then I comforted myself & after a couple of days I was alright. I still love & miss Jo, I sleep with her picture under my pillow. But then life got worse, my step-dad became mentally-abusive. After that I've just been falling into depression on & off until' now I've started cutting myself again. Not bleeding just lines that become red if I stretch the skin. But I need a sharpener for my eyeliner & I'm worried I might start with the blade...I just feel so lost & going slowly mad. I just want a happy, healthy normal life. Too much to ask? D;