Emo Scene Community

I was watching a video on Youtube of this girl's suicide story when my mom walked in. She started saying that I'd been obsessing over that topic lately, and it's been worrying her. I guess she started noticing it when I asked for the book Thirteen Reasons Why for Christmas (Read that book, it changed my life). She said I'd been really "mopey" lately. And yes, I have spent a lot of time to myself, but quite honestly, I've had the best last two weeks I've had in a very long time. She nearly started crying as I tried to explain to her, but how am I supposed to explain? The time she should have been worrying about me committing suicide was weeks ago. I fought through that, I'm past that stage already. I'm working on reforming myself, rebuilding my life. I read these stories of suicide survivors as motivation, almost. Also because I long to help others, because someone helped me. But how can I begin to explain this? I'd have to start from the very beginning. No, I'm sorry but I'm not telling my whole story to ANYONE in my family. I know why she's scared; if I were to do that to myself, I wouldn't be the first in my family. But I'm not going to. I already vowed to someone very close to me, the one who got me through it all, that I wouldn't. I know that it would only cause more pain. I know it's not an option. I'd like to say I'm sorry for scaring her; but how can I do this without explaining? How do I do this without telling her that the time isn't now, that I needed her to say what she said months ago, weeks ago, almost a year ago?