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All alone he turns to stone while holding his breath half to death The Bird And The Worm, by The Used

Emo Forums » Emo Poetry (Reply)

Emo Pictures - Kate
Kate
Posts: 4198
Last love song Nov 06 2013, 01:11 AM
Roses are red, violets are blue Sugar is sweet so perhaps you were too But those roses have wilted and those violets are dead. The sugar bowl is empty and Your wrists are stained red. The sun isnt shinning, the sky isn't clear; There isn't a sliver lining because your no longer here. So the rain keeps on pouring, There's no end in sight As you lay there frozen, So far from the light. Your beauty is unreal,Your smile was my sun But time can't be turned nor your actions Undone. The words that you wrote,That i only read; "don't cry when i'm gone, i loved you so much " Is the bond that we formed, a love that ran so deep The pain that we shared, a friend i could Keep I wanted to hold you, Wipe tears from your eyes and be there That moment you said the last Goodbye I want to forget the ending that came But i don't want the loss,the hurt and The pain. I wanted to let go but I know that i can't, But memories in mind and tears streaking my face I kneel down beside, to say the Last grace... The roses have wilted,the Violets are gone But your memory lives on Strong in my Heart.

Replies

Emo Pictures - xXeMoRaCeRXx
xXeMoRaCeRXx
Posts: 18363
Nov 06 2013, 02:57 PM
I like it besides the first two lines.
Emo Pictures - Kate
Kate
Posts: 4198
Nov 06 2013, 03:34 PM
thank you =) how'd you mean ??
Emo Pictures - xXeMoRaCeRXx
xXeMoRaCeRXx
Posts: 18363
Nov 07 2013, 04:24 PM
Just didn't like how they flowed
Emo Pictures - Kate
Kate
Posts: 4198
Nov 07 2013, 04:27 PM
fair enough .. i'll have another think over them and see what my brain can conjure up =)
Emo Pictures - Vybz
Vybz
Posts: 1466
Nov 12 2013, 07:29 PM
I agree. The first lines instantly capture the reader!
Emo Pictures - theycallmejack
theycallmejack
Posts: 5
Nov 15 2013, 11:38 AM
I've read ur personal creation, every word went to my head... i've never tried to create a poetry, i dont have any exp about it.. but this is something deeper than i thought :3 Fantastic!
Emo Pictures - Kate
Kate
Posts: 4198
Nov 16 2013, 07:08 AM
thank you :3 and i'm still trying to think of a new more suited opening.. harder than it looks!

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