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Do you believe in happy endings? Or the mending of human hearts? Dad’s Song, by Set It Off

Emo Forums » Help And Advice (Reply)

Emo Pictures - hiding_in_the_dark
hiding_in_the_dark
Posts: 313
Parents Jan 11 2015, 05:25 PM
Okay so this is probably going to sound like the typical teenager post about how much I dislike my parents but I really do need some advice. So I am very aware that I have some kind of depression or anxiety but have not been to a doctor about it. My mum doesn't seem to get that she's putting a lot of stress on me since she and my dad want a "perfect family" and you could say I'm /that/ family member, as in no one wants to be around me because i'm antisocial and stuff. My mom is sending me to a Christian therapist lady, who I also dislike, after a suicide attempt and I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to deal with people at all, especially my own parents and I feel uncomfortable in my own home now. What's worse is they don't accept me as me (And i'm not just saying that as in the type of person such as labels like emo, goth, punk, ect) but I mean the part about me being in the LGBT spectrum (Specifically T and P) So can anyone help me out with dealing with my personal anger and resentment towards my mom, and dad?

Replies

Emo Pictures - EyeWings
EyeWings
Posts: 287
Jan 11 2015, 05:50 PM
Hi Hiding in the dark! First of all I think the fact that you want to improve things with your parents and are asking for advice shows that you really wish you could all get on together. It can be immensely difficult for some parents to accept how their kids want to live their lives even if deep down they really love them. Sometimes they feel for personal reasons such as faith, tradition or family values that a certain way of living goes against their principles and it can cause real friction within the family. I would suggest trying to make it clear to them that you DO respect them, but that you are your own person and just as you appreaciate how they live their lives so they should do for you too. It can take a while for the message to sink in but hopefully in time they will learn that they can't shape everything in your life, and so long as you are considerate to others it is your own choice who you mix with. Just as they should respect you, do TRY to see things from their point of view too, that accepting something that they don't agree with can take time, so try to be patient as they come to terms with your life choices. It can be a slow process and often not without fallings out, but most of the time it does happen in the end! Try to enforce that mixing with certain people makes you feel good and may in fact help with your dark moods and feelings, better than any thearpy.Try and reason with them rather than argue, this shows maturity and may prompt them to listen to you more. On the subject of therapy, I also think you should have a say in whom you are sent to and why. Sometimes thearpy can be very beneficial but knowing who your are going to see and what they are going to do will put you at far more ease than being sent against your will. To benefit from thearpy, you must be comfotable in the environment you are in, which obviously won't happen if you are feeling unsettled in an unfamiliar place with people who make you uneasy. All thearpy is daunting the first time you go but it should be YOUR choice whom you see. I hope some of this helps. If you want to talk further you are very welcome to message, and good luck! :)
Emo Pictures - Xolivia-von-sodomyX
Xolivia-von-sodomyX
Posts: 510
Jan 11 2015, 08:13 PM
u deffinatly should talk to some one but u gotta find some one that works for you not ur parents maby even a family therapist that can better show your parents how to comunitcate with u. it sounds like u really need someone to be your voice, tell your mom u still want to see someone but u want to pick the person and find the right fit not all conclers and therapist are alike.
Emo Pictures - hiding_in_the_dark
hiding_in_the_dark
Posts: 313
Jan 12 2015, 09:20 AM
I do try and see things from their point of view but it usually is clouded over with religion and wanting me to be perfect in every way. I told my therapist about my mother and i don't know if she did see her or not. The rest of the advice was helpful though so thank you <3
Emo Pictures - xxxoutcast_lifexx
xxxoutcast_lifexx
Posts: 84
Jan 12 2015, 01:03 PM
I know what it's like to feel unconfortable in front of your own family. The feeling you can't to anyone about anything because there too stressed or have no time because they have their own problems. I think at least once when it seems that they have a lot of time on their hands just sit them down and explain how stressed out their idea of a "perfect family" makes you feel. If you think about it, if your mum got you a therapist ( even if it's not the best one) she must care about your wellbeing. Just explain to her that therapists won't make you feel like part of the family, unless THEY do something to make you feel more included and accepted for who you are. It might take a while, but developing a relationship with at least ONE member of the family is the best thing to do. Personally i open up best to my dad. Someone you can cry in front of, someone you can go to when you feel like self harming or having suicidal thoughts. If you talk more they might not view you as being "anti social". That's just my opinion but you don't have to do this if it doesn't help. I'm not great at giving advice but i do care about you alot

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