Emo Scene Community

I’m in no ways a victim. Nor is... the boy I will be discussing. I just need to get this off my chest before I feel responsible for anything he does. When my ex boyfriend and I of ten months broke up. There was a boy, I will call him A for this story, he helped me through it. But not in the way that you would expect from a friend. Instead he helped me by forgetting about my ex... he showed me attention when I needed a shoulder to cry on. So essentially, I fell for this act. Heh... I should have really listened to everyone around me saying that he was a player and prayed about broken teenage girls who needed someone to essentiallly be there for them. But I’m too fucking nice. He asked me out, luring me, and I declined however I still talked to him. This was my first mistake. I told him everything there was to tell about me. Why I was despeessed and anxious all the time. Why I was so weary of relationships, and how come I rejected him even though I clearly liked him. So we still talk, but today. Oh today. I am now in a relationship, well at least I think I am. I am still very closed in about relationships and would rather before with someone without the label of it. Odd... but that’s just how I am. He went on and on about how he still adored me, and once again me being so fucking nice... I listened I listened and I even gave in to telling more about myself. Keep in mind that I go to school with him, meaning i will see him tomorrow. Anyways... he played me. He held the thoughts of suicide against my head and told me, that he would do it unless I did something about it. And I feel so fucking guilty yet so angry.... I’m a wreck at the moment, and just... I decided that the best way was to completely detach myself. But knowing myself, i’m Too nice. I feel as though I will text him with a”Hey are you okay?” I’m too... too kind to block him on social media. Yet... I want to know that he is okay, but I also want him to seek help.... I’m just really tired now. I just want someone to tell me that everything with be okay with time. But even when I clearly stated that i will be keeping my distance he used my niceness against me and literally said,” I doubt that Raquel.” And a part of me really does believe he is right about this. I just feel so cheated, yet I feel disgusting for playing on his feelings, giving him false hope by continuing to speak to him, and telling him that,” it’s okay to feel this way about me.” I should have just broke it off. I feel so fucking responsible for all of this and more.