Aug 26 2017, 12:35 AM

Since a few years i have this weird thing,lately it's getting worse and i have no idea what i should do. Okay so i guess 3 or 4 years ago this all started, I sometimes just suddenly have thoughts in my head of hurting someone lately it's more killing. But I see it in my head, and just feel it in my body even my hands start tingling. Since a year and a half or something things started to get really bad, I have them more often, it's always people i know even my bf one time, it's to a point i ACTUALLY would kill someone. I am afraid that one of these days I AM going to stand in front of someone and kill them. I have no idea what i have to do, i need help but i can't tell my mum, she already hates me and she would just laugh at me. I need help but idk how,where or who.

Aug 26 2017, 12:26 AM

My mum's boyfriend was drunk again and they were fighting, they went downstairs and suddenly i heard alot of noise as if he grabbed her and was pushing or smacking her against the stairs. I literally heard a fight and some sort of smacking r something going on. So what do i do? i call the police, while i was doing that i heard him leaving and saw him driving away in his car. I told the guy like he drove away i don't think it's needed to send a police so he asks his name,mum's name and mine, says that if he comes back and does something i should call and we hang up. 5 minutes later a police car stopped my mum opened up and we talked. I told them i literally heard her like struggling as if he was holding her down or something i heard alot of noise,she keeps saying he was throwing with his shoes. LISTEN that didn't sound like just throwing with shoes okay he was literally holding her down. But okay i talked with one of them alone, explained that idc that this man is in my house but i do care if he drunk. Anyway they leave and my mum starts just getting mad, i told her it sounded like he was holding her down or smacking her against something i heard him saying so much to her and she be like 'he would never smack me or hold me down' i again calmly told her that from my room it really sounded like that, and what if he was doing that and i didn't call the police...then what??? After that i just told her why i don't really talk to her boyfriend, bc he always drunk and he always just idk how to explain but he always thinks he know everything bla bla.. Then she starts calling out my dad that he drunk too often.. yes okay maybe but NOT WHEN I AM WITH HIM HE AIN'T DRUNK TALKING SHIT WHEN I AM WITH HIM. Then she starts to say he doesn't do anything for me.. bitch he does more WITH me thn u ever did. My dad ALWAYS takes me to the ZOO, did she ever? My dad ALWAYS talks with me abt how my week,month,school has been did she ever do that? No, and yes okay my mum pays for food for me, but do i ask ? No i am happy with one fucking meal a day i don't care. damn this is long. Anyway like she told me she would be happier without me which i already knew bc she told me alot of times before so yeah i have no other place to go, i already just live in my room so idk what bitch need to kms ?? tell me what i need to do also, I called the police bc i heard the struggling, I was afraid that he did something to her, and she gets mad af... okay i'll never give a fuck abt u anymore. I've been dealing with her stupid ass drunk boyfriend for the past 3 years and i am actually so done with it. sorry this was so long just needed to get it out before i went to bed. Goodnight XoXo xD