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every now and again we get the feeling, and a great big void inside us opens up. happy song, by Bring Me The Horizon

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soEmo.co.uk - Emo Kids - XxXKingForADayXxX

XxXKingForADayXxX
[Site Model]

Elius
25 / Male / Baltimore, Maryland, United States
Asexual / Single
Member since: Jun 26, 2014
Last online: Aug 13, 2019

Current rating: 10.0/10 (1 votes cast)

About Me

Hello.
I'm an 19-year-old boy who lives in a fairly small town in the USA.
My birthday is March 17th.
I am human.
I'm grey-asexual and pansexual.
I'm a musician for a local band called Winter Weather.
I like animals, applesauce, music, video games, and baking.

Just PM me if you have any questions. I'm like 50% friendly, so catch me on a good day.

Favourite Music

Honestly, just ask.
I can send you playlists of my favourite songs and albums.
(Must have access to Spotify or YouTube)

Favourite Films / TV / Books

Also, ask.
I watch a variety of shit.
Haven't read a book from cover to cover in a long time.
I'll make a list once I read more often.

Education / Occupation

Lead singer & guitarist for a local band.
High school graduate.
Former cashier at a retail corporation.
Former host for a sports bar.
Former jr. cashier at a coffee shop.

Who I'd Like To Meet

A few lovely friends.
They probably don't feel the same about me,
but hey.
I consider them my lovely friend.
They can consider me an acquaintance or enemy for all I care.

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Journal

Jul 15 2014, 01:59 PM
Am I really fat? Does everyone lie to me and say I'm pretty and healthy just to either get a laugh or try to make me feel good? Am I just ugly and fat like they tell me? Should I just hide and stay in hiding and let everyone see no part of me? It would be best for everyone, wouldn't it? Just to die off as nothing left of my dignity and pride. Shouldn't I just do that so I save people from being scarred for life? Should I just forget about everything everyone has ever said to me that was a lie and the truth and just destroy my future from ever happening? I never knew how to fix my body. It's broken, bruised and scratched. Who wants that for a life partner? Who would want to date, let alone, be around someone who is mentally unstable and retarded and dumb? Who would care if I left this earth? Who even loves me? I know I don't. I never did. I can't show my love for myself cuz there's nothing about me to love I'm ugly, fat, broken, defeated, dead, scarred, stepped on, and just plain useless. Who would want that? Truthfully. I doubt there is anyone who really REALLY would want that for the rest of their life.
Jul 14 2014, 05:36 AM
Don't you fucking love how when you try to fix something to make it right, you get ignored in the end? Yeah. If I'm the only one then it's fucking annoying. I'm done taking everyone's anger and letting it take me over. I'm so fucking done with people stepping over me cuz I'm weak. IM NOT MEANT TO BE TREATED LIKE SHIT. IM A FUCKING HUMAN BEING TOO. SO QUIT TREATING ME LIKE SHIT AND GIVE ME BACK MY REASONS WHY I DECIDED TO STAY ALIVE YEARS AND YEARS AGO
Jul 11 2014, 10:44 AM
I don't feel like helping anyone about anything anymore. I can't solve anyone's problems and I obviously fail at trying to patch things up. So it's probably gonna be the end of my thoughts of being a person with a so called "mind, heart and soul". I'll just be a zombie within the walls of the Earth, with no clue how to make things work. I'll just die along with the others who had faith in me becoming something and just fail like I always do. I am a useless piece of junk who doesn't have a heart nor mind, which explains why I can't fix anything. So in the end of today, I doubt I'll be the same person you met before. The same one who tried to help. I'll just be dead and alone, with broken bones
Jul 05 2014, 09:34 AM
Private entry
Jul 03 2014, 07:42 AM
Private entry
Jul 01 2014, 03:36 PM
Private entry

Jul 15 2014, 01:59 PM

Am I really fat? Does everyone lie to me and say I'm pretty and healthy just to either get a laugh or try to make me feel good? Am I just ugly and fat like they tell me? Should I just hide and stay in hiding and let everyone see no part of me? It would be best for everyone, wouldn't it? Just to die off as nothing left of my dignity and pride. Shouldn't I just do that so I save people from being scarred for life? Should I just forget about everything everyone has ever said to me that was a lie and the truth and just destroy my future from ever happening? I never knew how to fix my body. It's broken, bruised and scratched. Who wants that for a life partner? Who would want to date, let alone, be around someone who is mentally unstable and retarded and dumb? Who would care if I left this earth? Who even loves me? I know I don't. I never did. I can't show my love for myself cuz there's nothing about me to love I'm ugly, fat, broken, defeated, dead, scarred, stepped on, and just plain useless. Who would want that? Truthfully. I doubt there is anyone who really REALLY would want that for the rest of their life.

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Jul 14 2014, 05:36 AM

Don't you fucking love how when you try to fix something to make it right, you get ignored in the end? Yeah. If I'm the only one then it's fucking annoying. I'm done taking everyone's anger and letting it take me over. I'm so fucking done with people stepping over me cuz I'm weak. IM NOT MEANT TO BE TREATED LIKE SHIT. IM A FUCKING HUMAN BEING TOO. SO QUIT TREATING ME LIKE SHIT AND GIVE ME BACK MY REASONS WHY I DECIDED TO STAY ALIVE YEARS AND YEARS AGO

Comments (Add Comment)

Jul 11 2014, 10:44 AM

I don't feel like helping anyone about anything anymore. I can't solve anyone's problems and I obviously fail at trying to patch things up. So it's probably gonna be the end of my thoughts of being a person with a so called "mind, heart and soul". I'll just be a zombie within the walls of the Earth, with no clue how to make things work. I'll just die along with the others who had faith in me becoming something and just fail like I always do. I am a useless piece of junk who doesn't have a heart nor mind, which explains why I can't fix anything. So in the end of today, I doubt I'll be the same person you met before. The same one who tried to help. I'll just be dead and alone, with broken bones

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Jul 05 2014, 09:34 AM

I FELL IN LOVE YESTERDAY AGAIN. A demon helped heal my heart, a princess came to steal it away. Thanks to both and you guys are the best!!!!!!!!!!

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Jul 03 2014, 07:42 AM

Well he didn't forgive me. I knew he wasn't going to, and don't anyone try to take my side cuz i'm guilty and that's it.

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Jul 01 2014, 03:36 PM

Might end up single tonight. Fucked up so badly and he will know if he reads his email. It's my first time ever fucking up this badly and I promised myself I wouldn't do it but I didn't realize til the day after that I messed up. If I end up single, it will be because of me. If I don't it would be a major surprise that he even forgave me

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