TW: ED (im just venting because i have really no other place to do so, please please get help if you struggle with it too)

i've made it 40 hours without food and i feel like fucking death already

the brain fog is kicking in and im starting to get a headache. I tried to eat at lunch and all i could do was stare at it crying until i gave up and threw it away. It's weird to feel helpless and proud of myself at the same time. I just want to be fucking small. 

TW: ED (im just venting because i have really no other place to do so, please please get help if you struggle with it too)

I struggle pretty hardcore with an eating disorder and I don’t feel ready to recover. I could get back down to my lowest weight in a week if I don’t eat anything for 7 days. I’ve romanticized being sick so much when in reality it’s a fucking cry for help and no matter how much weight I lose no one is taking me seriously. Someday I’m going to recover and be happy but rn the only thing I can think about it is being small.

idk little rant ig