Nov 11 2015, 03:27 PM

Well so far a lot of things have happened in 2015 - i've had relationships that have ended and now I'm back at square one - living at home with my parents and retreating to the safe haven that is my room. Every time i step outside the front door, my anxiety consumes me - i can't even walk down my high street without having a panic attack. i just want 1 true friend yet i can't even manage to get that. Here's hoping that 2016 will be better....

May 02 2015, 12:08 PM

It's going further into this new year - i only have 1 true wish - to be happy and be truly loved - not loved for my body or anything like that but for being me - creative and my introverted self but i just seem to be socially awkward and i find it difficult to make friends - like, true friends. I just feel as though nobody will ever like me for me.........

Feb 26 2015, 04:07 AM

It's a new year but the sadness and happiness seem to keep on merging into one. I feel as though people truly don't understand me, I put on a rave face and tough attitude to hide my true pain - the pain of never being good enough, of being a failure, trying my hardest to please myself yet nothing seems to e working - i just upset people and most of the time i don't know what i have done wrong. I just want to be happy but this wish seems tobe harder and harder to find....

Dec 03 2014, 10:59 AM

My enemies and the people I deemed safe - they no longer exist. I try to be nice and I try to be nice but then people turn on me. I then retreat yet even then I have to hear their words, the stings I felt used to subside but now they dig in, each one more painful than the last. And it aches, and the worst part? The worst part is that I actually feel that this fake smile has finally become my real one and that saddens me. I don't have anyone I can turn to. I want to be happy again, I just need someone to help me get there....

Oct 25 2014, 04:48 PM

My smile hides how much my heart is hurting, two small words "I'm fine" can make me invisible to the world, nobody seems to care that my pillow is soaked with tears, that I cry in the shower, that my smile often wobbles because I want to cry and express how I really feel. I just want someone to care and to love me. I'm sick of being left alone

Oct 24 2014, 07:06 AM

I just want to cut - to cut until words and looks don't hurt me, until the blade is too messy to do anything with - until I can feel satisfied that I have done enough damage to myself to overtake the pain that everyone else causes. All I want is to be loved but I can't even get a boyfriend or a girlfriend, the world is on attack - against anything but the "norm" - all I want is my safe haven but hey, I can dream right?...

Oct 23 2014, 01:42 AM

Feeling snowed under by the world, people staring at me - like daggers stabbing me in the back. People content to destroy any happyness that I feel - crushing my dreams under their sharpened spear - from me straight into the deep end - not giving me a chance to swim to safety. Their words cascade from their mouths, marking themselves on my skin - each one more painful than the last. But it's ok - when I'm in my cocoon I'll block you out, you can't attack me any more - I'm safe, I'm free and I'm being true to myself.