I don't know if I'm home
Or if I lost the way into your room
I'm spiraling into my doom
I'm feeling half alive but I know one day
You and I will be free Half Alive, by Secondhand Serenade
Riley
27 / Male / Dragon Country, United Kingdom
Pansexual / In a Relationship
Member since:
Mar 02, 2014
Last online:
Mar 21, 2022
Current rating: 7.9/10 (13 votes cast)
You have rated Undead_Nightmare
About Me
Wassup! I’m an elder emo who fell in love with the scene wayyyy back in the early 2010s. It was an interesting era…
Anywho, if you’re into sociology, psychology, nature, 420, committing arson, upsetting the normies or know who Albert Hofmann was, we might just get along.
DM me for pics of my feathered demon, hellhound and water-breathing dragon
Favourite Music
Anything and everything, depending on my mood. Pop, punk, chillstep, hyperpop, electronica, metal, psychedelic, rap, country, rock, healthy doses of Russian EDM…
Favourite Films / TV / Books
TV/movies: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Legend of Korra, She-ra, Bojack, Breaking Bad, nature documentaries, Dragon Ball Z, Rick and Morty, Stranger Things, basically any stoner movie, LOTR, The Matrix, Trainspotting, Requiem for a Dream, true crime, weird horrors, Dopesick, etc.
Books: mainly social commentary stuff. I like books that really make you think and question yourself and the world around you.
Education / Occupation
Student of biochemistry, linguistics and ontology
Past studies include software/web/games development, media, psychology, sociology, law, herpetology, entomology, mycology…
Who I'd Like To Meet
Anyone and everyone. Bonus if we can carry on a good conversation!
please don’t ask me about adding me on social media. I don’t use the vast majority of it. You might get lucky with my number or discord if you’re over 18, we’ve been chatting for a while and you ask nicely
I’m finally starting to process that I’m spending my last months in this town. The town I just happened to wake up in 3 years ago. That it’ll be my first time moving anywhere by choice rather than as a result of my chaotic life. It’s my last few months where I have a chance to make amends with people like my siblings and my dad. To decide if I want to keep these people in my life or move on and forget once again that I have a family. I’m realising that real soon I’m going to have to decide what I take with me and what needs to be left behind or given away. That regardless of where I move, I’m going to be living by the coast for the first time and I’ll be living with 7 total strangers. Strangers who won’t know anything about my past. What it’ll mean to finally be in an environment where I can safely process everything I’ve been through and fully work on my PTSD. It’s hard to imagine that life, far away from everything I’ve ever known, even tho it’s only months away
Argh so many decisions >.< I have to choose a university to make my firm choice but the ones I’ve gotten into are all such great choices and I don’t know which I want to go to more. A professor at one personally reached out to me today to say how much my application impressed him and he hopes he gets to to teach me in September but how do I know he doesn’t send the same email to all of his potential students? And then there’s another further north which offers a specialty I’m really interested in and even better student life but what if I don’t want to specialise this early on? What’s a guy to do?
Oh brain, why must you try to convince me I faked what happened earlier to get out of class or get attention or some shit. Fainting in public is embarrassing and who tf fakes that… I should just be thankful that some people kept a cool head and didn’t try to make me go to the hospital where they have much bigger problems to deal with than my asshole dysfunctional nervous system
I feel bad about telling a pretty big lie to a good friend of mine. We were meant to be housemates next year but I told them I didn’t get into the same uni as them so I could get out of being their housemate. I don’t want to tell them that their mental health and addiction issues have been a strain on me recently because I know how they’ll react and I can’t deal with that either. I know it’s selfish of me and it’s a shitty thing to do but I think I’m better off just moving elsewhere and having a completely fresh start where I can make new friends who hopefully don’t have multiple personalities or a worse drug problem than me
Ah yes, a week with the lads is just what the doctor ordered :) I’m very blessed to have such good friends who offered for me to stay with them while my mental health is down in the dumps
Why is it that I can help my friends with their psychological shit but when it comes to my own head, I just can’t deal with it? What the hell is wrong with me? What do I even have to complain about? I fought so hard for so long to get to where I am and I’m still not happy. It’s like all I ever want to do is self destruct and I just don’t know how to stop
The weirdest thing is having growth spurts in your mid 20s when your last growth spurt was over 10 years ago. Waking up a little taller, needing new clothes and shoes because you grew out of the ones you bought like, 3 months ago. I swear I’ve grown 2 inches and gone up 2 shoe sizes since September. It’s unexpected but I guess the only complaint is from my wallet *shrugs*
Well, it’s the end of an era. My near constant companion for the past 2 years will soon be going to a new home. I’ll miss you little lady, but your new humans will take good care of you <3