Sep 04 2015, 11:07 PM

Earlier... my sister got attacked by her ex... he is losing it... he got put in a prison cell... and he is out now... I really feel as though something bad is going to happen... as if he is going to do something more then abuse to her... and to my family... to me... I'm gonna have to focus more on helping my family.

Sep 01 2015, 11:41 PM

Well today (yesterday technically as it has just turned 12am) was my first day of college, and it was pretty swell, I met some of my friends I know and I am even in the same course as one of the my friend's. I'm probably not going to be updating much here anymore due to having to focus on it. It's been a good run over the course of the year. But at some point I need to grow up. My friends who are at the same college hardly interact with me anymore so I need to make some new ones and do well for myself. I'm going to fail at times no doubt, but then I can learn and move on. Wishing myself the best I guess...

Aug 26 2015, 06:19 PM

Yesterday I was in my friend's stream, she was showing me along with everyone else who was in the jm what her street looks like (Harrisonville, Missouri) and it was down right beautiful. Just comparing the beauty of her street to mine made everything look awful, I have traveled through a majority of the UK and have not found a single street at pretty as her's, I see streets like that on movies and TV shows etc. but her's was just down right amazing, I was close to tearing up to see how lucky she is live in a place like that. A mountain distant, small town, with wired fences and balconies on houses and very colourful bright trees. I wish I could at least visit that place as it is so beautiful :') And not only that, I could visit her and cheer her up as I hear she is very upset at times and has lupus...

Aug 11 2015, 12:49 AM

My Mam has felt depressed today (yesterday coz it's 1:49am and it happened earlier in the day), I don't blame her, she feels as though she isn't taking care of me properly (which whatever bad stuff has happened to me is my fault and not her to blame) and is going through stress trying to handle the issue my older sister is having with her abusive ex-boyfriend. Things are getting bad for her just as much as everyone else in this fucking town and world. The only people I've had brightening my day is online friends, and it's hard to keep track of them as sometimes there is chances that they are going to move on and leave.

Aug 04 2015, 06:37 PM

Well, I am glad to say that my friends that I have been mentioning in the previous journals have been getting along and have started coming back to the groups! It makes me feel more better. That journal I posted last week about me going to the activity day at my college, I went to the college but things were confusing and I left within 6 minutes of arrival, didn't spend the entire day there, I have tomorrow and another 2 weeks on Wednesdays to go again, but nah, I ain't gonna bother. I might go on the next 2 weeks, we'll see what happens.

Jul 28 2015, 09:47 PM

Tomorrow is the activity day at my college I'll be going to in September, I'm real nervous about it and afraid, I'll be there until 10:00am till 3:00pm so 5 hours in total, I have a feeling as though I should just forget about tomorrow and go on another Wednesday because it goes on for 4 weeks every Wednesday, but it's probablies best I go tomorrow and get it out the way, I hope I'll enjoy it, it'll be in fact likely that I'll enjoy it after a bit of worrying.

Jul 23 2015, 12:45 AM

I really can't stop looking at these really sobbing and sad stories that lead me to cry and feel despair, I just can't get it to stop :'( I've tried looking at happy stuff to make me feel better but it just doesn't help... Anyways, my friend that I mentioned in the previous journal, well me and some of her friends are working on getting her old friends back (the friends I also mentioned on the second previous journal), the ones who actually made her happy and that she feels as though they've abandoned her, I hope we can do it, I've gotten in contact with about five of them and they say they will try and get back in contact with my friend, one of my other friends is helping me in the issue as he has known her longer then me.

Jul 22 2015, 11:02 AM

Things are depressing, I was crying nearly all day yesterday over the loss of a great group of friends we all forged together... I can still be in contact with those individually people, but it's not gonna be the same as it was better when we all hung out together... I really hope a miracle comes around and they start appearing together again... I really wish... of all things that they will come back...

Jul 21 2015, 07:04 PM

Remember last year in my first few entries when I talked about how much of an outcast I was? Looking at those groups of people happy with their gang and shit. Well... I am happy to say that during the course of those entries I was able to get into one of those groups, it made me feel a lot better. However it's saddening to say that one group that I find hard to believe is falling... I knew this would happen eventually... and I didn't realize it would be that painful. Those were such great people, and now they are gone, I am real close to tears now :(

Jun 22 2015, 04:53 PM

Well... just recently I learned about the story of Amanda Todd... I could not stop crying among watching that video and learning about her past... those fucking people, laughing at her as she tried to commit suicide, they are truly disgusting! Whoever bullied her, I hope they are burned to the ground, I hope a bunch of them get their heads ripped off and someone shits down their necks, I hope a quarter of them get their fingers sliced off and shoved up their arse, I hope a few of them get their information incripted into a virus spread to 100,000 computers across the nation, and much much MUCH more... Whoever these bullies are ESPECIALLY!!! the fucker who stalked her throughout her life and made that facebook page and spreaded information to her friends among the new schools she moved to is sent straight to hell, I hope Satan gives them experience on first hand what it feels like to be bullied to edge of death (although they'll already be dead)!