Feb 22 2015, 06:42 PM

What am I here for? Life plays some sick jokes. I need an escape and I only see one way No one seems to be here for me and I can't deal with all of my pain. Burning doesn't do much for me anymore, I've turned to blades and pills. Trying to drown out my pain. I just want to be happy. But that will never happen. I am staying for one thing only and I think he left. I don't know what to do anymore. I try to be strong. But I'm slipping Friends talk about their future and all I'm thinking us that I don't have one. I can't see myself past high school. I just want to go... Everyone leaves me

Feb 16 2015, 08:18 PM

Never really done a journal before. But whatever. Why do great things (people) come into your life at the times you need them most? Why do those great people have to go through so much shit in their life? Why do those great people want to commit suicide? Why did I fall in love? I hate that I can't do anything. I want to help him so bad. But idk how to help him. I let him know constantly that I am always here and if he needs to talk I will listen. But his fucking dad is so fucked up in the head. And that asshole puts my boyfriend through so much that now he is saying he wants to kill himself. Saying that tonight may have been the last night I would ever talk to him. And if he doesn't answer in 5 days.... I don't know what I will do if he died. God I sound so pathetic. I'm sorry to anyone who reads this I just kind of needed to vent. So ya