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Emo lyricsyou're afraid, cuz i make my deals with the devil, you've been at it for years but couldn't reach the next level.Emo song lyrics
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Emo Meet - London UK - August 2011

Mish's Journal

Total Journal Entries: 8

Oct 11 2018, 05:42 PM

I can’t be the only one that thinks social media like Amino is a bad idea. You’re giving power to a bunch of vengeful kids, so of course they’re going to abuse that power. I’ve seen leaders leave because they hate it that much. People go into moderating and being leaders thinking it’s a great idea, but like all other places, they get greedy, ban a bunch of users for no reason, get bored, and leave.

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Sep 27 2018, 02:01 AM

Do you hear that?
That’s my body
Howling in pain
Wishing for relief
But hoping for retreat

Do you see that?
That’s my aching skin
More than it has been
Survival is a temple
And maybe I’m just mental


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Sep 08 2018, 12:39 PM

I see
The more I look into it, the more I realize that she was right. If I ask for a phychiatric evaluation, I can only hope to find the right answer. At a loss over my ptsd, I’m over the denial stage on what I call “the cycle of my imminent pain,” but that’s only the beginning. There’s more to me than just panic. There’s anger, frustration. With time I know they’ll discover a lifelong string of misguided diagnoses. If she is right, there will be a tremendous sized door opening for a lifelong treatment for an incurable illness.

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Jul 09 2018, 10:20 PM

Part 2 update: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2McANUT1MAI

I know it's bad quality, and I'm still swollen from surgery. If you can't see well, make it fullscreen. I really wanted to clear things up regarding what's been going on with me, and basically that I'm pretty much leaving the alternative scene. The video explains it all.
For a few years now, I've been bullied (even by certain site owners and moderators) and I'm sick of it. Now, Matt has been great, even taking down my model account (mentioned in video), and I'm thankful for that. He's probably the only owner that has actually done something, but he can't save me from everything. I don't know why, but I've been cursed with the bad demographic, probably because of the fact that I look 10 instead of almost 18.

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Jun 21 2018, 03:17 AM

I'm going to do a FAQ real quick
FAQ: Part 1

What's your name?
People online call me all sorts of things like Hayden, Mish, Michelle, Kai, Kei, alienrain, or byeprim. Kai and Kei are rare now. As for real names, that's private.

How are you?
Perfectly depressing to those around me, thanks for asking.

Do you like pit bulls?
Yes, but I don't own any. They're lovely dogs if well trained.

What is your favourite colour?
Mint green

What's your natural hair colour?
Blonde. It was light, but natural blonde hair darkens with age.

Do you have a job?
I have done book cover designing off and on, but I can't officially get a job until I get a high school diploma.

Favourite game?
Tomb Raider, Detroit: Become Human, and Born Into Darkness.

What is your favourite singer/band?
My favourite singer is Michael Jackson/Sohyang, and my favourite band is The Neighbourhood.

When was the first time you realized you also liked people of the same gender as yourself?
My biggest epiphany would have to be when I went into a Vans store and saw a girl working there that was short with long, dark, curly hair. Before that it was just a bunch of small moments that made me question myself. Good question.

What is something others don't know about you?
I actually have only dated one or two people, and I'm still really good friends with my first ex.

How old are you?
17. I'll be 18 in three months.

What is the longest word you can pronounce?
That would be llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.

How many languages can you speak?
Fluent: one, almost two. Non-fluent: I have no idea.

Why can't you eat cake?
I have a gluten intolerance, and cake bothers me the most. Fun fact: one of my dogs has a gluten intolerance, and another one of them has a gluten allergy.

Is the ultra scene hair ever going to make a comeback?
Maybe, maybe not.

How do you style your hair?
Before: Trim it myself, comb it into place and let it air dry. Sometimes I would curl it.
Now: Absolutely nothing.

Why don't you answer most messages?
I get harassed, and lately I haven't wanted to put up with it.

What are your favourite hobbies?
I like to learn new words in different languages, draw, act, photograph, play soccer, etc.

Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
I am happily married to my career.

Are you pumped for the LCS championships?
When am I not? Trick question, everyone knows the answer to that is when SKT wins again.

Anyway, that's the FAQ. Hopefully I didn't miss anything. If you want your question to go into the next one, let me know.

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Jun 17 2018, 02:31 AM

I’ve had a run in with a few bad people on places like these in the past few months, and my heart truly can’t take it anymore. Seriously, I’ve had chest pain and drama isn’t helping. You have no idea what someone could be going through in real life and starting drama with random people and trying to be a troll is a low blow. Trolls, you’re not getting a response from me. I try to get on here even though im constantly in and out of doctors offices and hospitals, but I don’t think I’ll keep trying to fit this in if it’s going to be like this from now on.

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May 25 2018, 06:56 PM

I didn’t think that I’d have to post this on here, ever, but whatever. If this needs to happen, it’s going to happen.

Lately I’m kinda fed up with the journals people are posting. If you think threatening to kill yourself or talking about slitting your wrists to bleed out is entertaining, please unfriend me. I have been taking it as a cry for help and reporting these journals. If that isn’t enough, I will completely turn off notifications for journals because that’s the only thing I’m seeing and I’m sick of it.

If you’re self harming now, you have no idea what you’re in for. You will always have to cover them up for the rest of your life. Don’t even try that “oh, but I don’t care if people see my scars” bs with me because you will care later on when everyone is staring at you. Plus, you think it’s easy to get an acting job with keloids on your legs? If you said yes, you’re sorely mistaken. I can’t do anything, all because I was stupid and decided cutting myself up was a good idea.

I want to end this on a good note, but I know that’s impossible to do in this situation. Journals are supposed to be a place to vent freely, but this is going overboard. Remember, this is a public platform, and I’m going to take all threats and jokes seriously. If they sound serious to me, I’m going to report them. I don’t like bringing up court scenarios, but in a court scenario, this site could actually be taken down if someone actually hurt themselves while no one here did or said anything, and I don’t think anyone wants that to happen. Stay clean on here guys.

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Jan 17 2018, 09:35 PM

Rant incoming
There’s this certain website, and on this website there is a feature to add photos. Yes, this is a site for 10-year-olds. You heard me, 10-YEAR-OLDS. Now, I stopped using the site, but pretty much 75% or more of the photos are catfishes. It’s ridiculous, and I wish the creators would take it down already.

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Total Journal Entries: 8