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Cut you open and make you sick Suffer, suffer, suffer like I did Take the poison and lock your lips Suffer, suffer, suffer like I did Suffer, by Get Scared

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soEmo.co.uk - Emo Kids - Avalanche

Avalanche
[Admins Pet] [Chat Mod] [Site Model]

Arson
19 / Female / American Football House, United States
Bisexual / In a Relationship
Member since: Aug 22, 2015
Last online: Dec 06, 2021

Current rating: 10.0/10 (5 votes cast)

About Me

                                                                                       

Howdy~


You still there?

Okay, cool I guess.

On August Twenty Seventh in the year of Twenty Fourteen I joined this site on my first account.

I originally joined when I was twelve and incredibly suicidal, I made a typo and discovered this shitty site but me being in my emo phase I joined for site modelling since that was the 'Oh so totally cool' scene kid thing to do at the time.

Long story short: I never had the guts to do the site modelling thing due to fear and anxiety, but maybe I'll do that soon

Update: I became a site model after four years!!!!!!







  • My name is Arson. Many people on here call me Ava tho due to my username.

  • DOB: 1/10/02 (US date format)

  • My MBTI type(s) xxTP

  • 420

  • 1312


Contact Info
Discord:【�"🕸A�'�"on🕸�"�'#3120
Tumblr: DeathwishAdorned


Cattell's 16 Factor Test Results
Warmth ||||||||||||||| 50%
Intellect ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Emotional Stability ||||||||||||||| 46%
Aggressiveness ||||||||||||||| 50%
Liveliness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82%
Dutifulness |||||| 18%
Social Assertiveness ||||||||| 26%
Sensitivity |||||||||||||||||||||||| 78%
Paranoia ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Abstractness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Introversion ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Anxiety |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82%
Openmindedness |||||||||||||||||||||||| 78%
Independence |||||||||||||||||| 58%
Perfectionism ||||||||||||||| 42%
Tension ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Take Cattell 16 Factor Test (similar to 16pf)
personality tests by similarminds.com

Cattell's 16 Factor Key

Factor low score high score
Warmth cold, selfish supportive, comforting
Intellect instinctive, unstable cerebral, analytical
Emotional Stability irritable, moody level headed, calm
Aggressiveness modest, docile controlling, tough
Liveliness somber, restrained wild, fun loving
Dutifulness untraditional, rebellious conforming, traditional
Social Assertiveness shy, withdrawn uninhibited, bold
Sensitivity coarse, tough touchy, soft
Paranoia trusting, easy going wary, suspicious
Abstractness practical, regular strange, imaginative
Introversion open, friendly private, quiet
Anxiety confident, self assured fearful, self-doubting
Openmindedness closeminded, set-in-ways curious, exploratory
Independence outgoing, social loner, craves solitude
Perfectionism disorganized, messy orderly, thorough
Tension relaxed, cool stressed, unsatisfied





Favourite Music

I may accidentally repeat a few of these since I slowly update this list as I get older and forget what is on here as my music taste evolves! This list has been in the works for a couple years now.
  • Anal Cunt

  • Cannibal Corpse

  • Cattle Decapitation

  • Vulvectomy

  • Torsofuck

  • Gorelord

  • Dying Fetus

  • Nunslaughter

  • Austere

  • Einsamtod

  • Kanashimi

  • Thy Light

  • Shining

  • Sisters Of Mercy

  • Slayer

  • Destruction Unit

  • The Exploited

  • The Distillers

  • Corrupted Leaders

  • Nausea

  • Discharge

  • Wolfbrigade

  • Death Grips

  • Tool

  • Korn

  • Thy Art Is Murder

  • Lamb Of God

  • END

  • Mejibray

  • Pierce The Veil.

  • Being As An Ocean

  • La Dispute

  • My Chemical Romance

  • In Flames

  • The Smiths

  • Depeche Mode

  • Joy Division

  • The Front Bottoms

  • Modern Baseball

  • The World is a Beautiful Place & I am No Longer Afraid to Die

  • Sorority Noise

  • Foxing

  • Counterparts

  • Movements

  • Touché Amoré

  • In Hearts Wake.

  • Northlane.

  • Carried Still

  • Set Sights

  • Half Past The Revolution

  • Frustrated

  • Moose Blood

  • Elvis Depressedly

  • Creeper

  • Boston Manor

  • Knuckle Puck

  • The Story So Far

  • Trophy Eyes

  • Major League

  • Sunny Day Real Estate

  • American Football

  • Joyce Manor

  • Neck Deep

  • Real Friends

  • Pvris

  • New Years Day

  • Crossfaith

  • The Amity Affliction

  • Beartooth

  • Silverstein

  • Tame Impala

  • Clams Casino

  • Ultimate Spinach

  • Crim3s

  • Yung Lean

  • Lund

  • GFOTY

  • Balance And Composure

  • Title Fight

  • Architects

  • Hundredth

  • Brand New

  • Hotel Books

  • Casey

  • Knocked Loose

  • Silent Planet

  • Pianos Become the Teeth

  • Letlive

  • Capsize

  • Johnny Hobo and the Freight Trains

  • Coma Cinema

  • State Champs

  • Defeater

  • Basement

  • Expire

  • Trapped Under Ice

  • Parkway Drive

  • The Cure

  • Pity Sex

  • Turnover

  • Sworn In

  • The Color Morale

  • The Wonder Years

  • Looming

  • Citizen

  • Turnstile

  • Donovan

  • David Bowie

  • Rescuer

  • Have Mercy

  • Pg. 99

  • Orchid

  • Drug Church

  • The Casket Lottery

  • Departures

  • $uicideboy$

  • Xxxtentacion

  • 100 Gecs

  • Alien Sex Fiend

  • Siouxie And The Banshees

  • Billy Idol

  • Marietta

  • Sports

  • Perspective A Lovely Hand To Hold

  • Origami Angel

  • Hightide Hotel

  • I Hate Sex

  • Stop It!!

  • Foxtails

  • SL.AP

  • The Promise RIng

  • Short Fictions

  • Portraits Of Past

  • Neil Perry

  • Youth Funeral

  • William Bonney

  • Camping In Alaska

  • The Kidcrash/Kidcrash


    Tough Stuff
    Gillian Carter
    Anime Titty Flesh Wound
    Kid, Feral
    H3artcrush
    The Promise Ring
    Cap'n Jazz
    Mock Orange
    Texas Is The Reason
    Adventures
    Hospital Bracelet
    Free Throw
    Jets To Brazil
    Gatherers
    Dangers
    I Hate Myself
    Moss Icon
    Flowers Taped To Pens
    Elle



    La Petite Mort/Little Death








Favourite Films / TV / Books

  • Seinfeld

  • Trailer Park Boys

  • It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia

  • The Walking Dead

  • American Beauty

  • Gummo

  • Pulp Fiction

  • A Serbian Film

  • The Craft

  • Salo

  • The Room

  • A Million Ways To Die In The West

  • Cannibal Holocaust

  • The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (The 1974 original.)

  • August Underground

  • Come And See

  • Threads

  • Requiem For A Dream

  • The Holy Mountain

  • An Andalusian Dog

  • anything in The Cremaster Cycle

  • Begotten

  • Slumber Party Massacre

  • Bigfoot's Wild Weekend

  • Human Ouja

  • Just any raunchy slasher flick or terrible horror movie really....

  • Two Bits and Pepper

  • Cop Dog

  • Country Bears

  • Doggie Boogie - Get Your Grr On!

  • I just love terrible 90s, 2000s, and early 2010s kids movies ironically

  • Midsommar (I FUCKING LOVE THIS MOVIE)

  • I have watched 57 Anime and I've loved almost all of them.... (Key Word: ALMOST. I've seen some fucked up shit)


(Many of the movies on this list I do not particularly care for anymore, I just went through an edgy phase as a kid where I watched disturbing and banned films a lot and I'm leaving them on the list for nostalgia)

Education / Occupation

Trying to get my diploma but I'd rather get fucked up and sleep. Kinda a recovering NEET tbh?

Who I'd Like To Meet

I dunno, maybe a couple new friends and shit.


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Emo Pictures - Alcoholandpills
Alcoholandpills
May 17 2018, 10:21 PM
Please check out this amazing animation someone made! It has so few view for what it worths! Maybe you will like it :D
Emo Pictures - xXeMoRaCeRXx
xXeMoRaCeRXx
Aug 22 2015, 09:22 PM
Thanks for the add :]
Emo Pictures - xXeMoRaCeRXx
xXeMoRaCeRXx
Aug 22 2015, 09:20 PM
Heya Avalanche welcome to soEmo.co.uk Please fill out your profile and add some pics when you get the chance. Even create a journal if you like... Find other members using the Browse feature. View 1000s of emo scene girls and guys pics in the Emo Pictures and Site Models sections. Check out the popular Emo Forums and Emo Chat. Learn all about emo scene music, fashion and lifestyle in the What is Emo section. The site is still in development so if you have any suggestions or problems please email info@soemo.co.uk or check out the help section. -Matt
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Journal

Jun 09 2018, 08:09 PM
fish come from the dirt
May 26 2018, 07:52 PM
ha t red i s a 6 3 l ett er w or d
May 18 2018, 12:31 PM
Good God, it's been nearly a year since I made one of these, and even longer since I've posted journal entries regularly. Anyway, I guess I'll get on to venting. Ya'll ever just isolate yourself to flex on your mental illness but your mental illness is actually flexing on you and you have to question free will for a sec? (Making your mental illness into a shitpost is top tier shield, will doe for years/10) Does anyone else with moderate to severe ptsd or any mental illness in general ever encounter a something that triggers really deep distress from memories you desperately want to forget that's so bad you just sort of shut everything out and split off into a state of disassociation and paranoia while your perception of time gets completely fucked? (Oof, that run-on sentence, though) God what a stupid question, of course other people go through that. I'm such a fucking idiot. I try my best to stay as grounded and attached to reality as possible as to avoid things escalating, I try to read up on self-help and generally just manage everything I can to sort of be my own therapist. (I'm doing kind of a shitty job but I'm not dead yet so) I don't know what I'm asking here or who I'm asking anything of, I guess I just want to know what others would do maintain composure. I'm off all of my medication and I'm avoiding trauma therapy like the plague as I'm still not in a safe environment and my parent is not stable. When I tried trauma therapy before the therapist said that part of the end goal would be to vent my trauma to my adoptive mother. (A woman in denial about her own instability who has had some violent abusive outbursts in the past) Bottom line is; I love her dearly, but I don't trust her. Not to mention I have the constant fear looming over me that if I ever said too much to a therapist I would end up in court and I'd have to see the faces of people that I have worked for so long to block out. My secondary fear is that I will be hospitalised again due to self-harm and I've had several experiences that were not exactly what one might call therapeutic. Maybe it's just the hospitals my insurance will pay for or something but I've meant some horrible people working in psychiatric facilities, or maybe they weren't horrible maybe they were just stressed and taking it out of the patience a bit? I don't know. What was the point of this again? I'm just talking to myself. I guess it isn't that much different from my daydreaming where I pace in my room for hours listening to music and accidentally whispering to myself. I should be doing schoolwork, I shouldn't be upset. God, I just love executive dysfunction. Maybe I should rant about something more, I don't even know. Something's wrong but things aren't allowed to be wrong. I'm just so tired. Crent, what' cirrent? Electric currents, Currency. Current flows, Current topics. c-u-r-r-e-n-t current. See? I can type, I swear. lol Anyway With taxes we are barely making it, we're cutting things so damn close this ywear, had to sert up a payment plan of course because the damn fool we lost the house to forgot disclaimers We have the p roperty Not the house, not the walls What else is new? I'm shutting him out, the only person who knows me and loves me is being shut out. I know he's worried sick, his father shows concern, brother doesn't give a fuck, and his mother is stressed and fears the worst; that I don't love him anymore... I still love him. What else is new? He said it was an accident, I believe him, but how do you tell someone that an accident fucked you up? How do you tell someone that an accident really is as bad as they thought when you don't want them to hate themselves? How do you tell someone that a sentence set you back a few years in your recovery process? How do you tell someone that one accident made you start having nightmares about them beating you? How do you say that to someone who loves you? How do you tell someone that they hurt you without making them suffer from knowing they hurt you? how?How?how/howdoImakeeverythingokayagain I've been feeling like I've been being watched for the past few months, feeling like I saw something I wasn't meant to see. I don't know what I saw. I didn't see anything. What did I see? I didn't see anything. I see what I saw I didn;t see anything I didn;t see anything. I didn't didn't did. ? I'm just typing my brain not whats in my mind but typing the brain itself but structured sentences can be hard structured sentences can be hard I want structure. I want structure. Control, control, I want control I don't want to remember I don't want to remember typing Can't type it enough I don;t want to remember Please don't remember word keep shorting out from my head my hands chop along keys and characters clacking click clocking glocks the sounds shock my skull clickity clack tap tap tap numbers letter symbols sounds code code Code? Code is language and language does not make sense the meaning of meaning has meaning and the words in definitions have meanings everything used to describe something and vice versa and it doesn;t make sense and things that don't makes sense aren;t right if it's not right it doesn;t make sense and things that don't make sense aren't right Do you wonder who came before God? Do you ever break for a moment trying to grasp infinity without concrete equations? Do you ever\just\break? click click click went my jaw as a child swell swell swell went my eye from the door the door he let go with the wind and the storm the tornado didn't touch down that day the tornado didn't touch down that day it didnt touch down down t that day my brain t ype s in aut o pilot sometimes it's good to type with minininmal thoughhhhhht no substance just clarity but no clarity not free notfreeeeeee Do you ever just want to scream until your lungs burst and pop?
May 28 2017, 05:36 AM
As I've begun typing this it's Sunday, May 28th 2017, 1:11 AM Eastern time, (This site is dead though so I guess that makes this the best place to vent shit since essentially no one will see it.) Last year I died.  I'm breaking in a room alone because last time I had the true chance to tell you I loved you, you said you had no respect for me as a human being and I told you I was far gone and over you, so maybe all those times you said I was a liar, it really was true, because God only knows if I was genuine then maybe I'd be getting by, maybe I'd be able to make due. But even now, as I'm alone and won't make it out alive know that there's still a sense of love for you that once helped me thrive, the anger and hatred I expressed was merely a shield to keep me from breaking down and revealing the harsh reality. You see, now from where I stand I'd give anything to hold your hand, and if I could just once go back in time I wouldn't even save myself from violence and crimes, I would go back to help you with all I know about myself now, I'd hold us both together, I wouldn't push you away or let people or things that are temporary pull us apart. You were my first, my last, and only, the one person that has my heart and even now when there's others to hold and try to fill the void, they can't even make an indent on the empty space beyond them.

Jun 09 2018, 08:09 PM

fish come from the dirt

Comments (Add Comment)

May 26 2018, 07:52 PM

ha t red i s a 6 3 l ett er w or d

Comments (Add Comment)

May 18 2018, 12:31 PM

Good God, it's been nearly a year since I made one of these, and even longer since I've posted journal entries regularly. Anyway, I guess I'll get on to venting. Ya'll ever just isolate yourself to flex on your mental illness but your mental illness is actually flexing on you and you have to question free will for a sec? (Making your mental illness into a shitpost is top tier shield, will doe for years/10) Does anyone else with moderate to severe ptsd or any mental illness in general ever encounter a something that triggers really deep distress from memories you desperately want to forget that's so bad you just sort of shut everything out and split off into a state of disassociation and paranoia while your perception of time gets completely fucked? (Oof, that run-on sentence, though) God what a stupid question, of course other people go through that. I'm such a fucking idiot. I try my best to stay as grounded and attached to reality as possible as to avoid things escalating, I try to read up on self-help and generally just manage everything I can to sort of be my own therapist. (I'm doing kind of a shitty job but I'm not dead yet so) I don't know what I'm asking here or who I'm asking anything of, I guess I just want to know what others would do maintain composure. I'm off all of my medication and I'm avoiding trauma therapy like the plague as I'm still not in a safe environment and my parent is not stable. When I tried trauma therapy before the therapist said that part of the end goal would be to vent my trauma to my adoptive mother. (A woman in denial about her own instability who has had some violent abusive outbursts in the past) Bottom line is; I love her dearly, but I don't trust her. Not to mention I have the constant fear looming over me that if I ever said too much to a therapist I would end up in court and I'd have to see the faces of people that I have worked for so long to block out. My secondary fear is that I will be hospitalised again due to self-harm and I've had several experiences that were not exactly what one might call therapeutic. Maybe it's just the hospitals my insurance will pay for or something but I've meant some horrible people working in psychiatric facilities, or maybe they weren't horrible maybe they were just stressed and taking it out of the patience a bit? I don't know. What was the point of this again? I'm just talking to myself. I guess it isn't that much different from my daydreaming where I pace in my room for hours listening to music and accidentally whispering to myself. I should be doing schoolwork, I shouldn't be upset. God, I just love executive dysfunction. Maybe I should rant about something more, I don't even know. Something's wrong but things aren't allowed to be wrong. I'm just so tired. Crent, what' cirrent? Electric currents, Currency. Current flows, Current topics. c-u-r-r-e-n-t current. See? I can type, I swear. lol Anyway With taxes we are barely making it, we're cutting things so damn close this ywear, had to sert up a payment plan of course because the damn fool we lost the house to forgot disclaimers We have the p roperty Not the house, not the walls What else is new? I'm shutting him out, the only person who knows me and loves me is being shut out. I know he's worried sick, his father shows concern, brother doesn't give a fuck, and his mother is stressed and fears the worst; that I don't love him anymore... I still love him. What else is new? He said it was an accident, I believe him, but how do you tell someone that an accident fucked you up? How do you tell someone that an accident really is as bad as they thought when you don't want them to hate themselves? How do you tell someone that a sentence set you back a few years in your recovery process? How do you tell someone that one accident made you start having nightmares about them beating you? How do you say that to someone who loves you? How do you tell someone that they hurt you without making them suffer from knowing they hurt you? how?How?how/howdoImakeeverythingokayagain I've been feeling like I've been being watched for the past few months, feeling like I saw something I wasn't meant to see. I don't know what I saw. I didn't see anything. What did I see? I didn't see anything. I see what I saw I didn;t see anything I didn;t see anything. I didn't didn't did. ? I'm just typing my brain not whats in my mind but typing the brain itself but structured sentences can be hard structured sentences can be hard I want structure. I want structure. Control, control, I want control I don't want to remember I don't want to remember typing Can't type it enough I don;t want to remember Please don't remember word keep shorting out from my head my hands chop along keys and characters clacking click clocking glocks the sounds shock my skull clickity clack tap tap tap numbers letter symbols sounds code code Code? Code is language and language does not make sense the meaning of meaning has meaning and the words in definitions have meanings everything used to describe something and vice versa and it doesn;t make sense and things that don't makes sense aren;t right if it's not right it doesn;t make sense and things that don't make sense aren't right Do you wonder who came before God? Do you ever break for a moment trying to grasp infinity without concrete equations? Do you ever\just\break? click click click went my jaw as a child swell swell swell went my eye from the door the door he let go with the wind and the storm the tornado didn't touch down that day the tornado didn't touch down that day it didnt touch down down t that day my brain t ype s in aut o pilot sometimes it's good to type with minininmal thoughhhhhht no substance just clarity but no clarity not free notfreeeeeee Do you ever just want to scream until your lungs burst and pop?

Comments (Add Comment)

May 28 2017, 05:36 AM

As I've begun typing this it's Sunday, May 28th 2017, 1:11 AM Eastern time, (This site is dead though so I guess that makes this the best place to vent shit since essentially no one will see it.) Last year I died.  I'm breaking in a room alone because last time I had the true chance to tell you I loved you, you said you had no respect for me as a human being and I told you I was far gone and over you, so maybe all those times you said I was a liar, it really was true, because God only knows if I was genuine then maybe I'd be getting by, maybe I'd be able to make due. But even now, as I'm alone and won't make it out alive know that there's still a sense of love for you that once helped me thrive, the anger and hatred I expressed was merely a shield to keep me from breaking down and revealing the harsh reality. You see, now from where I stand I'd give anything to hold your hand, and if I could just once go back in time I wouldn't even save myself from violence and crimes, I would go back to help you with all I know about myself now, I'd hold us both together, I wouldn't push you away or let people or things that are temporary pull us apart. You were my first, my last, and only, the one person that has my heart and even now when there's others to hold and try to fill the void, they can't even make an indent on the empty space beyond them.

Comments (Add Comment)