Mar 09 2026, 03:04 PM

Idk what i should write here, so i will just...say random shit. My name is yuki, and im fucking tired of life, everything. I dont know why im alive. I have no idea why i am here, yk? People sometimes use others as a reason to stay. "I shouldnt kill myself bc i will make them suffer." I think thats something only strong people can do, stay for others and not urself.. I understand why they would do that, but i cant do it, yk?Im just so tired of having to do or not do things because of others. i dont want my life to depend on what other people will feel. i used to promise to people i wouldnt cut myself, bc they kinda forced me to. im never doing that again, never. if i want to cut myself, i will do it,  no matter how it makes u feel. if i want to suffer, i will suffer. im not being ungrateful, im glad theres people who care about me and are here to help me. but i dont think i can be helped and im tired. i dont need to get better because ur tired of seeing me down. i tried gettin better, i did try. now im just...?????? idk.  am i a good person or a bad person? and what makes u think im good or bad? and who is right about it? i dont know what i am or who i am. im confused and lost. being 15 is not being a good expericente, neither did 14 or 13, or 12 or 11. maybe being alive is not a good experience at all. why are we here? why do we need to study and work? for what? we are all gonna die in the end, sooner or later. i do not support suicide, i would never say to someone to take their own lifes. but would i understand why they do it? i would. stop saying suicide is for losers or weak people. theyre not weak. theyre people with  feelings and thoughts, and they just couldnt handle it bc it was too fucking much. God is real, but hes not someone that controls what happens in our life, hes just a energy. desteny is not real. this isnt happening bc u deserve it or bc it NEEDED to happen that way, its not ur fault, ur not cursed. life is just...unfair. things happen for no reason at all. idk if karma is real, but i kinda believe in it. maybe what we do comes back to us in a energy way. but that doesnt mean that if something bad happens to u, its ur fault, bc its not always like that. maybe sometimes its ur fault, but it depends in the situation. everyone does mistakes so, dont worry too much abt it. well, idk what more to say....ig were all just trying to be something. but we dont need to try, we already are something. and we matters. some people dont want to be helped, but theyre still important, everyone is. well, uhm...idk what im saying, bye