many times I've walked the line, rolled the dice and questioned my life.
I've been down this road before , sacrificed and dealt with the pain... Comeback, by Redlight King
i'm so done.
hoenstly i just want out of here.
i just wanna dissapear.
i dont want to be here anymore.
so much crap just builds up on me...
seriously im so done.
i left school early today. mom said she will call some EAP or whatever so i can get tested for bipolar and get a councilor.
ive been slightly improving over the last few days. but now its going back down. i dunno, it seems like everytime i improve on my negativity,it all comes back. the depression, the sadness, the low self esteem.this is why im being tested for bipolar. my mom thinks im just being a teenager. but you never know.
im really glad i found this place, like seriously. its the only place where i fit in as myself. without being judged. i can actually let my feelings out here. ^.^
i used to be so happy and jolly.
now im just sad. my friends used to be able to cheer me up by ssaying nice things to me. now i understand what depressed people feel like. even the nicest things said cant cheer you up...
i wonder whats wrong with me.
im changing and i dont like it.
im loosing tannith but i need her back.
i'm the boring friend.
as a kid, i was shy. i was the quiet girl who did her best in class and never got in trouble.
then when i started making friends, i was really loud and crazy.
i thought i was fun back then. like 3rd and 4th grade.
now im the boring friend. ive been called boring by my own friends too.
it hurts. when i hang out with my friend jalen and its just us hes like "Wheres maddie" "wheres madison" "where haley"
once i said "am i not good enough for you" because everytime he says that stuff it hurts. he said "well, madison is really fun and has a better attitude than you." "maddie is hilarious!" "haley is so funny" hes actually said to me before "im bored, you are so boring"
im sorry im the boring one. im sorry im not likeable like all my friends are. im just tannith. im sorry im not good enough for you.
cage called me once at 10 oclock. i was really tired so i wasnt enthusiastic and he called me boring. im sorry but it hurts to be called boring.
i hate the fact that my friends are so much better than me.
IM SORRY IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.
im so sad and depressed..
i feel like i have no one.
the guy i love is in love with my bestfriend.
shes pretty she's skinny and beautiful.
and shes everything im not.
im just fat.
im the fat friend.
the ugly girl in class.
the forever alone girl that no one will ever love.
what am i turning into...i never used to be this way, i never used to even care.
i feel like i have no one to even talk to...no one cares.
they all think im ok just because i used to be.
but hey, people change.
:DD
i performed my solo and got a superior rating :DD
its one of my proudest moments and made me so happy. i felt like i did poorly but i guess i did amazing! many people supported me and told me i did great. i luv u guise very much <333
man, i got the iphone 5.
its amazing and i love it.
but some stupid jerk lady at school took him away from me.
i was so angry i just wanted to slap her so hard and i still do man i hate her so much.
i must practice my singing solo, my performance is saturday and i'm scared.
i'll get practicing i guess.
So um.
I'm not sure what i'm supposed to put here so...
I went to the mall today. There they have a trolley thats free that me and my friend have always wanted to ride. So we were like "what the heck" and rode it. We sat on the outside where all thats protecting you from falling out is some metal bars...about 4 of them. I was laughing and waving to random people when all the sudden my phone slips out of my pocket, falls through the metal bars, and bounces down the road, landing in front of ashley furniture. I only say one car run over it before we turned the corner. At the VERY next stop, I got off the trolley and went to recive my phone...i watched more cars run over it and well it wont turn on now....:)
It was actually really funny....
