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Do you feel like you're irrelevant? Do you feel like you're just scared as fuck? Mars, by Yungblud

Emo Forums » Emo Poetry (Reply)

Emo Pictures - WitherdRose
WitherdRose
Posts: 1459
My first ever song Oct 24 2008, 12:55 PM
VERSE 1: I lay in the silence of the darkness and hear the echo's of the night, Laying next to you, I hear you breathe, in the shadows of the moonlight, I want you to embrace me, But i can't stand your touch, As I feel your body close to me, The pain is just too much, For better or worse our vows of love, Till death do us part, Were broken on our honeymoon, Like a knife in my heart, As your sleepin soundly my eyes filled with tears, is this what I have to look foward too, In the next fifty years CHORUS: The achig of my body, The bruises on my skin, HOw can you sleep, Just knowing the torment that i'm in, This pain you have inflicted, I cannot understand, How you can say you love me, With the palm of your hand VERSE 2: Curled up on the showers foor, Crying my silent tears, I try to wash the bruises, And escape my fears, I wonder why you hurt me and say that this is love, Why take away my happiness and all that I dreamed of, Like a child to be punished, You say its discipline, For I must obey my husband, And show respect to him, You say I am deceitful, And that I have affairs, I'm sleeping with the neighbour, I have lovers everywhere CHORUS: The achig of my body, The bruises on my skin, HOw can you sleep, Just knowing the torment that i'm in, This pain you hae inflicted, I cannot understand, How you can say you love me, With the palm of your hand, VERSE 3: The pain of your accusation, Cut me like a knife, How could you think i'd do that, Even though I am your wife, So you hit me; To remind me; Not to fool around; The sanctity of our marriage is just emptyiness i've found, As I crawl out of the shower, I had hoped to clear my head, But all I felt was helplessness, As i returned to bed, I lay there in the shadows, Listening to you breathe, Wondering if i'll ever have the strength, and the courage to leave. This is the first song I have ever wrote, I wrote it myself and will be making music for it so please tell em what you think. <3 xxxx

Replies

shepardosdemon
Posts: 2742
Oct 24 2008, 02:47 PM
I love it, It actuarly moved me when i was reading it it put me in one of those loving moods, and a kinda sorry mood but yes i think you should try acoustics and piano with it then post a video :D and we can compare. :D
Emo Pictures - xXeMoRaCeRXx
xXeMoRaCeRXx
Posts: 18235
Oct 24 2008, 04:02 PM
I don't agree with Matt. I hate it..
Emo Pictures - xXeMoRaCeRXx
xXeMoRaCeRXx
Posts: 18235
Oct 24 2008, 04:05 PM
Only joking I actually read it all and really liked the words and structure.
Emo Pictures - WitherdRose
WitherdRose
Posts: 1459
Oct 24 2008, 04:40 PM
ohhh =[[ meanie lmaoo well a friend called dan will be helping me with intsrumental side but i want ur opinoion of my song please and what you think of backing music? <3 xxxx
Nov 01 2008, 11:43 AM
good but you have wrote a song before remeber '' the 4 devils '' haha post that one haha
Emo Pictures - WitherdRose
WitherdRose
Posts: 1459
Nov 03 2008, 07:10 AM
^^ haha so funny i meean serious song
Nov 03 2008, 08:53 AM
you took it very serious trust me we wernt even allowed in the room while u wrote it and i am, sure everyone would like to hear ur real first serious song hehe love u allays
Emo Pictures - WitherdRose
WitherdRose
Posts: 1459
Nov 03 2008, 11:14 PM
if you even dare i was like 8 yrs old so don't be mean
Emo Pictures - xXeMoRaCeRXx
xXeMoRaCeRXx
Posts: 18235
Nov 04 2008, 03:13 AM
I wanna hear it!
Nov 04 2008, 07:12 AM
KERRRRECTIONS not 8 yrs old acturly 11 :) and its not mean hahahahaha starting were the four devils were the four devils .i can go on.. :):)xx oh and remember u insisted on being lead singer
Emo Pictures - WitherdRose
WitherdRose
Posts: 1459
Nov 04 2008, 07:14 AM
hahah so funny now just shut up, seriously i am really proud of this song nd up don't want it messed or spammed by you!
Emo Pictures - xXeMoRaCeRXx
xXeMoRaCeRXx
Posts: 18235
Nov 04 2008, 04:27 PM
Who do the four devils relate to?
Nov 05 2008, 10:35 AM
it was me, my sister, and our two best friends XD how r u matt !!
Emo Pictures - WitherdRose
WitherdRose
Posts: 1459
Nov 05 2008, 11:21 PM
nd i think we should also stop talking bout the past nd talk bout this thread to
selfhater
Posts: 678
Nov 22 2008, 07:48 AM
got any music to go with it? or f u dont. we could have a little competition on here or summit to write the music, record it on a crappy tape recorder and upload it onto the site, how rocking cool would that be?

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