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Now you see me, now you don't. Now you need me, now you don't. Autumns Monologue, by From Autumn To Ashes

Emo Forums » Help And Advice (Reply)

ForeverTheSickestEmo
Posts: 26
Why am I wanting this? Jul 23 2011, 12:15 AM
Hey guys I have a weird problem. But I'm not sure if it even is a problem. Lately I have been hating the body I was borne in. I now hate the fact I was borne a girl. I have been wearing stuff under my clothes to hide my female shape so I can look more masculine. I have been wearing my brother's clothes and have been paying him for them so I can keep them permanently. I cut my hair short to about 3-4 inches all around, when it used to half way down my back. Even before I cut my hair and changed my clothes, I would sometimes get mistaken for boy. And I liked it. A while ago, my favorite artist admitted that he was a FTMT (Female To Male Transgender). I was happy for him that he was about to say it so proudly. But I felt envious. Since he was able to be the boy he wanted be. And I can't. I used to be so comfortable with my body. I used to be fine with who I was. And now I'm not. I don't know what brought this on. I remember when I used to cut, that I did it because I hated myself. But I didn't know why. And then I stopped, thinking that if I did that I would feel better about myself. But now I feel worse. I just want to be happy with myself. Please I need help or some advice! Or tell me why I'm feeling this way?

Replies

FlamingBlackSkull
Posts: 464
Jul 23 2011, 12:52 AM
I don't know why you may be feeling this way, maybe something triggered it? In any case... I think you should embrace who you want to be. If that means being a boy, then it means being a boy. I know I make it sound so simple and it's not, but that's all you can do. Just do what feels right. One of my favorite artist is also Transgendered. His name is Gutterface, he's on Deviantart. He has a youtube video of It Gets Better under the name KINGGutterface if you are interested. I don't have the link but just search under his name. There is a lot of good advice on the net, but if you need to talk to someone, I'd be happy to help. :)
ForeverTheSickestEmo
Posts: 26
Jul 23 2011, 03:19 AM
Thank you <3 I've seen Gutterface on dA before. I'll check out his video. The artist I mentioned is PlacidHysteria also there on dA
Emo Pictures - xXeMoRaCeRXx
xXeMoRaCeRXx
Posts: 18358
Jul 23 2011, 04:57 PM
There are people on this site that have been in your situation, but the opposite way round..
Emo Pictures - nikkiwest
nikkiwest
Posts: 2440
Jul 25 2011, 11:54 AM
yes, don't worry... I don't think anyone knows exactly why this happens, but I'm sure it will get easier, My friend Autumn (who was originally Nick) is only 14 and her mom thinks that it's just a phase, her teacher's ask her why she writes Autumn on all of her papers and other than that she is never ever really judged... you'd be surprised how accepting our world is today
AudreyAffection
Posts: 39
Aug 02 2011, 09:25 PM
i think you feel this way because people change. what you want one day could completely change in a matter of weeks, or even days. interests change, feelings change. it sounds to me like you're following the same path of that artist. and that is completely fine as long as that makes you happy. no one should have to feel uncomfortable with who they are.
Emo Pictures - xXkuraiyoruXx
xXkuraiyoruXx
Posts: 164
Aug 03 2011, 02:07 AM
Be who you wanna be....I just love you for who you are inside Noah.......and you will always be my Noah....Idc if you wanna be boy or girl I'll always love you....

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