Emo Scene Community

Hey *hugs* i can empathise with you on the anorexia, as being in the start phase of my recovery for it currently. After many yrs battling it and relapses, i hate it enough too the point i've just about enough of ANA ruining my life and social life, as i hate eating out or around others and it sucks. Purging is a habit i'm slowly having to learn to stop as well. It's not easy either ,like you said any ED is addictive and in fairness you never truely recover as the thoughts just linger in your mind but are controlled. I personally find (maybe different for you as mines anorexia purging from slip ups but not binges like many Mia suffers ) when out having a friend with me ie go in pairs to the rest room, i'm alot less likely to purge even if i feel like i've slipped up and i'd then exercise it off later. If thats not possible having a mate aware, that is able to remind/ limit the times i go to the rest room particallry before/after food helps alot as im one these people who hates letting mates down. When on my own i try and restrict purging urges till absolutely desperate and i see no other option (ie cant exercise,talk to someone etc) As for safe purging, i too wish there was a way, but i doubt there is... Try just purging your stomach rather than pushing to the point of coughing up blood as that dose alot of internal damage as stomach acid corrodes your teeth and scars your throat lining. A tip i was given awhile back was after a purge put chilli or some substance you hate the taste of on the end of your tongue or on your lips , that way you learn to associate purging with distaste/dislike. I found chilli paste stings like a bitch so use that a fair bit. Another i found is do it by a mirror, if you catch your reflection you will hate the mess you are in and are most likely to stop what you were doing and focus on your reflection instead.quite a handy distraction. Also try and think of the internal damage you cause every time you purge. Every time you don't you are giving your body time to heal from previous purges and grow stronger,which is a good thing. Another trick is have a list of alternatives too purging handy at all times, be it a scrap of paper or on your phone. Ie exercise, watch a horror film,do the house work, basically anything that keeps you moving and away from your usual purging places/tools ^hope this helps you and feel free to pm if you've any other questions . Best of luck in recovery and stopping :)

Its interesting because before you i dont think i know anyone else that would starve and purge other than me. Id never binge. Not once, which is what made it so dangerous for me. Because of that i always assumed that i didnt have bulimia or that i wasnt sick enough, but im a fucking bulimic mess i realize that now. I almost died so many times from bulimia, more than anorexia. Like there was one point where i was on the brink of death with anorexia but i was forcefed and i didnt get that bad since. Always been under though except for recently but i wanna get back. But my heart has almost stopped from bulimia, i have pre existing heart problems as well, and my stomach is fucked up as sin. I dont go a day without getting triggered because its such a struggle to keep down food, and i have IBS and acid reflux from it. Im somehow able to control my anorexic tendencies much better. Not sure how but it happens. And i cant even risk doing any tactics, my life is on the line and thats not somehing i want to gamble with. Its just i honestly truthfully dont know how im going to go my whole life without doing it And thanks yeah sorry i meant to pm you before