Nov 03 2012, 11:23 AM

Ok so lately I've been feeling sick. I keep puking and I have no idea why. I had to run out of class to go puke and now a bunch of people think I'm pregnant. People really get on my nerves sometimes. I told everyone that I'm positive that I'm not. Half of them still think I'm pregnant. The a quarter of them gave it up. But i guess the other quarter had nothing better to do so they started calling me an anorexic whore. So if you can't ell I haven't had a good week. I know people say this all the time but imma say it anyways. I almost gave up. You might ask what that means, but I'm not going to explain it. I'm trying not to let people bother me but it's so hard. I can't seem to get a grip on myself. I keep crying no matter how I try not to. Now's a time that I wish Devyn was here 3

Oct 29 2012, 01:23 PM

Losing Devyn So lately a lot of stuffs been happening. This entry going to be about one of the things... I lost my best friend, Devyn, about a month or two ago. When I say I lost her, no I don't mean she died. Honestly, in a way if she woulda died this situation may have been easier... Me and my best friend got in a fight that was based off of one tiny little mistake. Me and Devyn met in 8th grade at school. She became one of my closets friends I trusted her more than anyone. I even started to feel strongly for her... I'm not sure what it was but it was there and eventually one special day she asked me out. I was shocked and nervous and confused but everything in me wanted to say yes. So I did. We only dated for a week. We had to break up because school was becoming a problem for her. She was having troubles at home and a girlfriend just wasn't what she needed at the time. Then I moved away. I didnt get to talk to her much then I lost contact. The next year we met again, we both went to the same high school. I was so happy to see her my heart exploded with joy. We started going out again. Honestly, the first time it was kinda weird for me cause I had never done it before. But this time everything was perfect. We were perfectly comfortable. I came out of the closet infront of the whole school for her. But then came a guy. We both fell for him. I fell to quickly not caring what happened. Devyn also liked him. Our crush problem worried us we were always paranoide about it and watched each other. Finally I realized she had grown to love him more than she loved me. I broke up with her so she could have him. She accepted the offer, she said she would miss me and that she would always love me. We were friends for a while but then rumors started doubt clouded us and we fell apart. Thankfully we were dumb enough to see through the lies and become friends again. After that something happened something that if I could have taken back I would have. Now she hates me. I try all the time to make her love me again but it's hard. Only a day or two after our fight she moved away. She stoped communicating with me. She broke my heart. Honestly, I had been going through so much that this final blow almost made me want to commit suicide. The guy used me now he laughs at me daily and calls me a dumb bith. I guess he's kinda right but oh well. I don't know why I wrote this journal or where I was gonna go with it. I guess it was just kinda like a venting thing. People have laughed at me and even called me a whore. I try so hard not to care what they think but deep inside I do. But out of all the pain losing Devyn is the biggest of all.

Oct 29 2012, 01:08 PM

Ok... I dont really do the journal stuff, but... I think imma try it. Just puttin this out there. My journals gonna be bout stuff thats goin on with me and how I feel so please dont call me fake or an attention seeker or anything jerkish. Please and thanx!

Aug 06 2012, 12:58 PM

I feel so horrible I just canttake it anymore i'm to the point whereanything and everything makes me cry I just ant it to end :(

Aug 01 2012, 10:18 AM

I feel like crap just horrible. I'm sick and dont know exactly whats wrong a ton of drama I keep losing everyone that I care about and I just feel like I cant take it. But whatever Imma stop complaining