I forgot my ID and didn't get into the concert. I wasted €100 on a hotel for nothing, and did that 5 hour train journey for nothing. I just walked around the city crying for like an hour. I feel like the world's biggest idiot. I've learned my lesson, I'm just not meant to enjoy life, I don't deserve it. I need to accept my suffering instead of trying to escape it by trying to have fun. it's never going to work. I'm just not meant to be alive.

Literally nothing goes right ever. I was supposed to go to a concert tomorrow and because I left buying train tickets too late I'm gonna have to take a 5 hour train ride to get there when it originally would've only taken 2 hours... which gives me very little time to check into the hotel and get to the concert. I shouldn't even be doing this, I should be saving money and getting a job. and then I wonder how I can't afford to move out of my parent's house. how am I even allowed to be alive, how do people not get the death sentence for being this dysfunctional. I wish I could assassinate whoever's in charge of Irish public transport. How is 5 hours to Dublin in any way acceptable? I literally live like 2 hours away from Dublin.

I'm gonna be in Glasgow tomorrow. I'll be seeing a Black Veil Brides concert. They're my favourite band. It's supposed to be one of the coolest things I've done so far, but I'm just kind of dreading it. I'm scared. I've had the worst luck recently, like these past 6 months. Nothing good happens without something going majorly wrong, and I just don't trust that this will be any different. And everytime I try to have hope it backfires and leaves me twice as devastated. I don't know if I'll be able to enjoy this, I'll be waiting for disaster to strike at any minute.