you got me shaking from the way your talking my heart is breaking but theres no use in crying what a cyanide surprise you have left for my eyes... if i had common sense id cut myself or curl up and die. sticks and stones could break my bones. sarcasm, by get scared
Jessgrimjr Blackwood
20 / Female / South Carolina, United States
Straight / It's Complicated
Member since:
Oct 13, 2024
Last online:
Dec 06, 2024
Current rating: No rating yet/10 (0 votes cast)
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About Me
My name is Jessie, since I can remember, I really like what has to do with the era of the 2000's, many have considered me Edgy and Crazy, due to my peculiar way of expressing myself and being, I have very concrete and specific tastes even the point that I am obsessed.
Even though I am Asperger, I am not proud of it, it was not an option... Sometimes I wonder what it is to be Neurotypical...
For people I am rare for doing things my way, without anyone telling me anything. For me they are the weird ones since not once in their lives have they done what they truly. For people I am rare they wanted to do.
Favourite Music
Avril Lavigne, Linken Park, Skillet, Seether, S3RL, Cobra Starship, Asking Alexandria, My Chemical Romance, Green Day, Sum 41, Blink-182, Simple Plan, Avenged Sevenfold, Breaking benjamin, Black Veil Brides, Panic! at the disco, Pierce The Veil, Fall Out Boy, Owl City, Whatsheart , Mindless Self Indulgence, Slipknot, Set It Off, All Time Low, Nirvana, t.A.T.u., Three Days Grace, Get Scared, Anna Blue, GHOST, Hatsune Miku, A Touch of Class, Halestorm, Cascada, Jack Stauber, Gorillaz, A*TEENS, The All American Rejects, Bring Me The Horizon, 3 Doors Down , Good Charlotte, Basshunter, Paramore, Ghost Town and Evancence.
Favourite Films / TV / Books
It depends, but I like series and movies from the 2000's - 2010's.
I am a person of specific tastes and I am only fascinated by 2 Webcomics and they may be awful but they are my favorites: Grim Tales from Down Below which can be read on Snafu.comics and Secret Alliance which can be read on Webtoon.
Education / Occupation
Well, I'm not a professional editor but I'm passionate about it. Sometimes I do AMVs, I draw but in the style of Bleedman.
I've been at university for a year and when I graduate I plan to look for a job.
Fun fact: Education will be paramount to being someone in society and everything, but sometimes I feel like we are pushed too hard, so I encourage you to listen to: The Anthem - Good Charlotte.
Who I'd Like To Meet
I would like to meet people with similar tastes to mine ^^
Well, in my opinion: You can be my friend, of course as long as you are kind and respectful.
I would like to be normal... But I realize that it is very boring! Better still be ME ><
It's still cloudy and rainy, that makes me think and reflect, about my actions and who I became, melancholy remembering those days when I was happy and I didn't know it, the month of November is special for me, apart because it's autumn, it was my late father's birthday at the end of November, which I remember was always a present, loving and kind father in life, although it's been 12 years since he passed away, I always keep my father in mind and try to be the best version of myself, so that he'll be proud.
Well it's cold I'll go get some hot chocolate, although a song that I remember my father loved was: Making Love Out of Nothing at All - Air Supply, it's a nice song really, although I prefer to recommend this song: November Rain - Guns N' Roses.
I woke up in a good mood for the first time this week, which I spent very overwhelmed and stressed by university, and the most ironic thing was that I woke up early without being forced to, hasn't it happened to you too?
I don't know, but it's selfish to feel that I have the right to choose what I want for my life!
I ask this because my mother thinks that by getting me "a prince charming" she will be able to solve my problems, but what I need is a psychologist to talk to, and I also think that I am self-sufficient enough to make my own decisions.
I don't want to just be a submissive who gets chosen who to be with, that makes me angry.
I don't know, yesterday I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, my student ID was torn, the university bus had left me, and I had to take the second bus, which left me at a stop there, because that bus was going in the other direction, I had to walk for about 20 minutes because there were no buses until I could take one, in order to have cash I had to ask a friend to lend me about $5 to go, before that a professor with whom I had a pending exam didn't let me leave early and I got into trouble, when I arrived I simply started crying when I got home, I had lunch and slept most of the afternoon.
Just a relief when writing this, because gosh I felt terrible yesterday, and today everything was calmer.
Well, the mornings are still cold, and lately I have been feeling melancholy remembering what I longed for a while ago.
I won't deny that I miss people who were part of my memories, something I call special.
Did I do something wrong in taking my responsibilities more seriously than staying up late talking to friends? It's not that I wanted to get away, but I have duties to fulfill.
Do you think I distance myself simply because I want to, when it's not like that? I hope that one day I won't have these misunderstandings anymore, but it's just that I have a life too...
Well it's still morning, Halloween has already passed, it's still a bit cold and I don't know why I woke up at 6am on a Saturday, I was thinking, the last thing I remember is my mother giving me some tea in the afternoon before I went to sleep, well I hope everything goes well for me today.
Lately I don't understand why, to be honest, and because of my lack of free time, some people have stopped talking to me, is that part of growing up or is it that people don't wanna know me anymore???
I feel tired of repressing my emotions, sometimes I feel like it consumes me inside and affects me all that poison of resentment for actions that I would have liked to control, but although it sounds childish that they repress something as simple as going out with friends to the mall, without the accompaniment of a family member, it stresses me out already, I know I have Asperger's, but I'm not a stupid person either!
I HATE with all my being, having to live hiding that I go out from time to time without permission, without caring what my exaggerated mother says, instead of loving myself I sometimes feel a little harassed by her, I prefer to remain silent than to talk about what I have inside, I'm not a bad person, but I would like to be normal, that's a sin!
If you're reading this then I wanted to de-stress, I don't expect someone to play psychologist with me, but I would like someone who listens to me as a sincere friend.
Well it's a bit late at night, and I'm thinking between wanting to be alone to have time for my hobbies, while some told me I was selfish for that, but I'm a free being at least when I want or don't want to dedicate my time to something or someone, sometimes I don't know, but people being stubborn stresses me out a lot, I know that in the past I was cloying, but my current self prefers everything in its time and don't overwhelm me because sometimes I'm not so stable, that many times I walk away before wanting to come and insult someone in their face and tell them what I think, it's inevitable for me to be like this but I'm sincere.
I'm not perfect okay, I have my mistakes that make me human, but it's not for one to judge and criticize oneself all the time, many in this society live with their ego high, but I imagine that many of us here, are aware of our virtues and defects, and we are as humble and kind as possible, as long as they don't contradict us. That's my thinking.
Well before I say goodbye, I think that you who read this, listen to: Diary Of Jane - Breaking Benjamin.