Sep 18 2018, 02:18 AM

Oh how i know thy pain as the words cut deeper then any sword as i felt like being stab on all ends and everywhere. To feel like you are going mad as your mind wonders and thoughts goes to the abyss and emptiness pit, feeling like being drag down to the ocean and choking by thy demons you cannot slay. to feel all them emotions to wonder into pure darkness. The feeling of being in a cage, four walls surround you as left and forgotten by the people and thy maiden you loved. Trap in a none ending cycle of misery, Pain and sorrow fighting a battle in thy own minds holding thy axes and fighting everything thrown at you. All the Pain and Feelings that weight upon you Fighting for your for your insanity to feel like one can go mad in this dark cruel cruel world. How Beauty of thy night, why must love be so bitter and deep like a throne on a delicate rose as beautiful as they come yet dangerous deep down. I feel like i am dying like i hang on thy thread not knowing i'll make it and yet it killing me hurts so bad yet i keep fighting wearing thy faint smile to burden all thy emotion to be weight down to never let people see this side of thy self. as i look upon thy moon surrounded by darkness waiting for the for my true love thy be to set me free to see deep in my eyes to fully understand me to. :'( to finally see me not as a monster or a mad man but a human being who can bleed and shed tears like any other human to be love and have hopes for thy future that deep down thy path well not be so dark hoping thy someone well lead me out of the dark and into the Light to embrace me and as i lay deeply in arms tired and weary from battle to know it over. To know that they well never let me go to save me from drowning cause my heart actually feel like a avalanche i don't know how long i got to live or keep fighting but all i see is no hope for thy self.

Apr 13 2018, 12:47 AM

I feel alone it dark and cold i feel drain and breathless and feel suffocating i wonder why i always put myself make myself a monster the agony the hate and drama i am full of rage and so goddam sad and jealous of the people what they have what i don't happiness but that is otter bullshit i have family and friends but i am tired being push and push and push over hanging by a thread a cliff playing cat and mouse for peoples amusement dear agony when can i attuned for my sins when can i smile or be at peace when is it gonna be that time enough is enough i know well i don't wanna die put my family through the pain yet i feel like i am dying and my soul drain and being suck i feel like i am surrounded by four steal walls like a cage as i guess i was some wild beastly beast or animal getting tortured every morning i feel a faint happiness and day by day i feel dual fighting my own mind of Adhd or some war no one well see only me inside my head which is at the point i feel sane and i never want to die or go to hell. when i die i wanted to go to heaven but half the times i dont know what right or wrong being torn in half of what bullshit and whats the truth or who i am no more a battle of endless despair i wanted everyone i know happy yet i am jealous is it wrong to want attention to have what they have even though i feel like it getting harder to socialize to talk to interact or even get out of my comfort zone not alone have a girlfriend or stay with a girl for even a long time when i am usually the cause knowing the bad stuff i done and the wrong but changing who i am is all i got and most nights i am crying to myself cause i don't know what to do with myself i don't know how to get my self out of the ocean trance i feel sorrow and weak like i am not perfect i knows this and i know i am not always loyal or i trys so goddam hard half the times i feel dead that alive wondering why do i smile am i depress mostly when i don't get my own way i never talk to the beauty of the night in so long feel like i was drifting apart as i feel so torn apart all i wanna do is cry punch the walls and ground to taste the freedom to have something rise me from the ashes and battlefield to be spoken to and said to Get up and fight but..half the times i dont know what i am fighting for what can i do i feel cold and warmth and people always end up hurting me or i hurting them which i guess i feel like i should distance myself cause i dont wanna be the blame or the trouble it hard and life is harder it never gets any better and growing up sucksssssssssssssssss who would love me or want me who am i fooling i ask my self if i just vanished wonder what would of happen what my meaning to be here still fighting a pointless world going through my mind and everything just tiring or am i just plain lazy or a attention slut i dont know or cant comprehend ...i feel like i'll never be good enough for my self or no one i am soooo tired i can't feel at peace for the right reason

Apr 04 2015, 10:02 PM

oh agony beautiful agony...i feel torn apart, hurt, lied, betrayed, and forever broken the feeling like im dying inside more everyday is tearing my apart the thought of never being loved by no beautiful maiden hunts my soul to be feared to have my heart crush forever every time i falls the thought that bring the tears through my eyes. to feel pain every night as i stares at the moon and prays to the Beauty of the night and falls into the emptiness pit of slumber and pain to feel like im alive and im not. I feel like my beautiful black rose as lost all my beautiful pedals as no one will ever love a corpse like me a mad hatter that long for someone special in my life :'( </3 as i will always roam in the darkness alone and be alone forever and ever to stare in the stars and cry underneath the stars thinking no one wants me. oh beauty of the night curse me to my death end my pain and misery let me fall as my wings are broken give up on me as i lost my way to the twilight zone i feel that i been forever forgotten and no one will ever know the pain i feel. just know i will never be alright i will always be sad and forever broken to loose my light and letting my flame go out.. :'(

Nov 19 2014, 04:56 PM

Oh how I am such a Failure and that I would just fade away as I am not good enough for nothing as I am a lonely loser with no life all I am is the god dam monster :'( I wish I could die and just be done with to end my life be done with this suffering world where I feel I don't belong nowhere I should just hang myself but even though I'm scared to die all I can do is cry and rot and just be miserable I will never be good enough for no one ill never laugh or smile ill always well be alone with no meaning to fight oh how I suffers all I am is a failure and a falling star that no one well notice me Ill be that on flower on the wall alone that no one well ever love true love well never fine me or ill never fine the right girl for me I am through with this bullshit I'm through looking in the fucking mirror pretending im happy when im not im through with this ugly face of mine and my stupidness if this is my last fucking journal just know i try and fought but i never made it and if i don't end my own stupid life im a coward and im too scared and ill be back more miserable i am what they call a stationary corpse unhappy and cannot smile ill never feel happy ever cause IM ALWAYS FUCKING STUFF UP AND DESTROYING THINGS WHEN I DONT MEAN TOO IM VA FUCKING LOSER :'(

Feb 28 2014, 01:34 PM

as I watch the snowflakes fall and walks in freezing cold rain thinking to my self thinking a reason to believe in a light and knowing all i can do is fight for something that i know is worth it as i knows its hard to be a man and I'm giving it all i can to not cry trying to stay strong cause I knows I'm hopeless and I'm hoping that i know that i gotta spread my wings and fly but I always holds back knowing in the end I'm scared, scared to get close knowing i hate being alone for what its worth I'm trying to make my life as its own even though i gets one step closer I'm still far away from being perfect and thinking that no one cares maybe I'm right maybe I'm wrong knowing that the beauty of the night watch over me as she tells me all be alright as i am a beautiful black rose glittering in the moon light as i glows in the darkness as i am lost and trying to fine my own path to fight back from all that bullshit as if i have too ill build my walls up to keep everyone out or brake them down and go through broken glass to fine that their is more to life as their is a ghost in my mind to help me fight my battles and as i stares into the stars i smiles and knowing that maybe just maybe their is still hope for me?!

Jan 24 2014, 03:42 PM

Oh the pain in my heart as i feel like i am dying the pain of being alone and cast aside by the people i know as i stares at the moon and cry as every fallen star i wish for happiness yet there is none for me oh beauty of the night as i feel pain through my heart and my flame flickers in the wind of screams and sorrow is their any true meaning to my life a Corpse like me as i falls down unto the snow star at the sky looking at the beyond and the Twilight zone as i am sad and angry to feel that all the bull shit and drama was pathetic and now here i lay to rest as my pure soul stays with me through this broken heart of cold black glass i shatter in pieces knowing that theirs no light for me as i stares at a mirror seeing nothing that is only empty deep down as deep within I'm screaming help as i shed tears as i am no longer the attention and no one's favorite even though i m like a black rose that sparkles under the moon light with thorns that are sharp and as i am beautiful but dangerous i well lay as i have no meaning as rain pours down on me and as i am like a angel with broken wings never free from a curse no one could see and as my flames keeps burning no one will ever known the pain and sorrow through these eyes i am StationaryCorpse a empty shell full of broken dreams and sorrow as i rest in the Twilight zone and the beauty of the night watch over me i feel Numb

Jan 21 2014, 08:32 AM

A Rose that shines in the moonlight as we are covered in thorns but are beauty last forever to go through so much pain as each passing day crawling to survive to shed tears when we feel pain to have doubt in our self's to look at the broken black glass as we try to fine the things we must fight for to keep our burning flame a flame and glow as we our all suffering as every night the beauty of the night watch over us as we sleeps and we falls to the twilight zone as she sang her lullaby to comfort us as we cry's in her arms to whisper in our ears fly my angels fly as we spread are wings and flew in the night as we rose from the ground like demons and face are monsters to face our fear's never give up my children she cried out never let the flame burn out fight for what u believe in and be who u are and no one else tell the haters and judger's to go fuck them self's as we are her children and will never stop fighting for what we believe In

Oct 06 2013, 10:56 PM

The Deeper the sorrow the more the pain hurts. The more emotions I feel the more it hurts the world cuts deeper then any knife first u have attention now your dead to everyone u knows. Oh beauty of the night is there ever hope for me what am i too the world the people is giving up my only answer shall i must fall and not get up. My Soul ever lost in the pain and giving up something is never easy but all must fall unfortunately. beauty of the night watch over me as i enters the TwiLight Zone and be in a Eternal Sleep I am StationaryCorpse for i am dead to people with no attenion at all to see who really cares about me i fall not to die to dissapper for i am nothing and i must fall to darkness farewell and ill see u in the Twilight zone for who ever takes this journey in my return u must show compassion :( :'(

Sep 21 2013, 10:43 AM

Rain: rain that wash the pain rain that brings back the pain they say if it rains someone up in heavens hugging and kissing you but every day I cry's, hurts, and have the scares losing the one I love 3 so hurt covered in darkness not know when ill see light of day my eyes blacken as night comes and sleep when I feel necessary Like a Vampire I hate the mornings Only night I can show my true colors but idk who I am each day I feel pain with a touch of sorrow oh beauty of the night as I goes to the twilight zone is their ever happiness is their a dream where theirs no nightmares ill never no or understand my emotions even though I see no light lying to myself and hurting my self telling my self everything will be ok Ps: im not to sure exactly anymore I am StationaryCorpse I'm dead to most people and when I died My heart turn to Black Glass a heart special and rare like a Black rose as I try's to understand the beauty of the night 3 :'( xo