You fall down a hole. That's the one place that we both know you'd take me with you if you could but I wouldn't go. I guess that sometimes we both lose our minds to find a better road. The Poison, by All-American Rejects
Onyx Walker
27 / Female / Richwood/Ohio, United States
Bisexual / Single
Member since:
Jan 02, 2013
Last online:
Apr 18, 2014
Current rating: No rating yet/10 (0 votes cast)
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About Me
Boo! Its Onyx and I am in one of my rare moods of hyperness XD. Anyway I am a pretty well laided back chick that loves to draw and read and just chill. I am who I am and I know that no one can change me. I will be who I want to be. I may live in a small town but I dream of a place that is huge and has the freedom I need.
Favourite Music
Black Veil Brides A Lot!
Bring Me The Horizon :)
My Chemical Romance XD
Fallen in Reverse :D
Paramore XD
Nickelback
Daughtry
Papa Roach OMG I Forgot:
Blood On The Dance Floor And Panic At the Disco!!
Three Days Grace
Theory Of A Deadman
Favourite Films / TV / Books
Scary Movies
Horror
Thriller
Where The Heart Is (Only Chick Flick I like, I promise)
Anything Stephen King
Night Huntress Series :P
Vampire Academy Series :0
Maximum Ride Series :)
Anything by:
James Patterson
Stephen King
Jeaniene Frost
Richelle Mead
Dean Koontz
Education / Occupation
Who I'd Like To Meet
I want to meet someone that can get me and not think that I am a piece of Worthless Shit. I want someone that can love me for who I am and not what I look like. I am me and no one can change me!!!! Also I like people who like reading, drawing, or are funny XD
OKAY SO I AM SO FUCKING DONE WITH HER. TRYING TO BRAKE ME AND MY AMAZING BOYFRIEND UP IS NOT FLOATING MY BOAT. THIS IS WHAT I SAID TO HER:
ALRIGHT LOOK YOU BITCH!!!! SENDING MY BOYFRIEND A MESSAGE THAT I SENT YOU 5 FUCKING MONTHS AGO TO YOU ON KIK IS NOT GOING TO FUCKING PASS WITH ME!!!! YOU TRY ONE MORE TIME TO BRAKE US UP I WILL BEAT THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOU!!!! JUST BECAUSE I AM NO LONGER FUCKING FRIENDS WITH YOU DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN DO ANYTHING THAT COULD MAKE MY LIFE HELL!
JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE HANGING UP ON A GUY THAT WAS FUCKING TIERNEY LAST FRIDAY NIGHT DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU CAN TRY AND FUCKING BRAKE UP PEOPLE.MAYBE IF YOU WERE A LITTLE NICER YOU WOULD HAVE A BOYFRIEND AND MORE FRIENDS. LEAVE MY BOYFRIEND THE FUCK ALONE OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL FUCKING PUT YOU IN THE HOSPITAL! GOT IT!?!?!?
Nothing matters anymore. No one listens. even in my own room I get judge and talk down to. I just cant leave that life. Right now i can barley stay here. I only have one person in my life that gets me and understands me for me, he is amazing in so many ways, He never talks down to me like he is better then me, he doesnt judge me. He gets me in a way that no one else can. And I love him soo much. He is my only reason to stay here
So I haven't been on in a while and it has really gotten to me. I have been going to therapy with my mom and it just has made my life a fucking hell hole. And they I realized something, what I do to my life is my choice not other peoples. If I want to cut then I can. It's not their body. If I don't want to talk then It is my choice not anyone's. Today I lost one of my best friends because I wanted to be more than friends with him and now he is ignoring me. If I could Just TAKE IT ALL BACK I would. Be is the best friend that I have and if I can't have him as at least a friend then why am I still here. If I had one chance to change anything it would be that my mom didn't give birth to me. So I wouldn't have to go through all of this shit wouldn't happen
All I want is to live my life the way I want to and right now I can't. Things at home is well fucking horrible. All I need is to be left alone and live my life without the stress that comes with going to a fucking crazy school and then come home to a place where I can't even call my home. Right now it is just a place where the state makes me stay at till I am 18. Well I guess that some people do have it worse but I can't help but think what is there that makes people want to live like this. Is it because they want to have this stress in their lives? Cause right now I am about to go crazy. I want to live in a place where people get me. It is not like I am doing anything illegal or things that would make my family look like a shit family. I don't do drugs or drink alcohol. I am a good kid but people only see what I could do not what I actually do, sometime I wonder why was I born if all I do is get yelled at or feel the need to have the thoughts I have or do things like cut. What is there to have, that is worth living anymore. Is there even a point? Right now I don't see it but I wont kill myself tonight. This is just a warning to anyone that cares about someone like me. What would it be like to see someone care? Well I may never know. All I can say is that when I do die that I will finally live in a world where people get me and let me live the way I want to.
