27 / Male / Manchester, United Kingdom
Straight / Single
Apr 10, 2012
May 17, 2013
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I'm shy due to the fact that I have very low confidence. I'm usually depressed. I like spending time with friends. If you want to know anything else, just ask. Oh, by the way, if I say i'm fine, don't believe me. If I say i'm ok or good, then yea, but don't believe fine.
I like, Amon Amarth, Rammstein, Obsessive compulsive, Wolfcrusher, Sworn to oath, System of a down, MCR, Bullet for my valentine, Manowar, Iron maiden, Evanescence, Slipknot, Korn, Paramore, Asking Alexandria, Suicide Silence and various other bands.
Favourite Films / TV / Books
TV = Family Guy, Star Trek, CSI, Russel Howards' Good News, Red Dwarf, Andromeda & How I Met Your Mother.
Films = Star Wars (original trilogy is best), Star Trek (2009), The Avengers (marvel), Transformers, The Matrix, Starship Troopers & Equilibrium.
Always, people leave. Always leaving, never staying.
Well you KNOW WHAT!! FINE!! LEAVE!! Leave me alone, that's all anyone dose, leave me alone. Just me, on my own. :'( just leave me with my knife, and my teeth, maybe i'll have the guts to finally end this existence, but the other two souls in my head won't let me. I just want relief, is that too much to hope for? :'(
A friend showed me a truth a couple days ago, you could say it corrupted me. No longer am I, too respectful for my own good. No longer am I, so respectful that I would still look at a girls eyes if she happened to pull her shirt or t-shirt down. I am no longer the pitiful respectful pathetic human, I embrace my nature now.
I have recently realized something within my beliefs, that has been known by the old Norse, whos' path I follow. The Wyrd, meaning destiny, fate, future. The Wyrd is basically quantum physics, that fact that nothing is impossible only inprobable, and we can shape and mould our own destiny. We can ask for guidence, but in the end, our lives, our futures are we make of them. We are in control.
Wen you think you might like someone. But you've been stripped of almost every last shred of confidence already. And you're afraid, not only of being hurt, but hurting them as well. maybe next time i'm near her, I should drink some more alcohol, or as I like to call it, liquid confidence.
Twice this year my heart has been torn apart. To be honest, it's probably my own fault. I become attached, begin to fall in love far too easily for my own good. Just when I think it's safe for my heart to be melted and completely given. The pain begins to grow, becomes unbearable. If I can't promise my existence in a day, how can I promise my heart. Then more pain. So I must go on in this world, alone forever. This is my destiny. My purpose is to help, my curse is the constant pain. Of-course it doesn't help when it seems like people get over you as fast as they get over a speed bump, while going at around 40 miles per hour.
It's hard to live in constant pain, a heart that must freeze to be preserved, eyes that must burn in order not to tear. Death is forever a round the corner, yet he sows not his face to me, so I must keep going, I must try to live in pain with a heart frozen in a burning rage. I must destroy my heart in order to save it.
In my attempts to find a reason to keep on living, I'm trying to use music to turn my depression into a burning rage. At least with rage, I might be able to freeze my heart once again, become stone-cold and seemingly heartless. It's the only way I can rid myself of the pain, or at least numb the pain.