Emo Scene Community

plz help im trying to make this as short as i can it's a LONG story,but i need help coming out.i feel like im losing my friends after fighting with one because of being transgender.everythings a mess i'm going to live with a bunch of homophobes and i dont want to come out.but i need to.im dying on the inside.no one's taking me seriously.my aunties going to have a baby and she's going to name him kyle.thats my boy name.i dont want to come out after she told me.i dont want to make them think im copying.im a mess.i feel like im going to brake down and cry.i used to have long hair and i cut it short.they thought it was for "cosplay" and because of being a wuss,i told them that it was.and since then ive been digging my own grave and i just dont know what to do.i have a homophobic family and they wont kick me out and they would/are(already) just ignoring me.i'm losing friends and family and god i just....i want to die but i think of myself as a wuss and i cuss out at myself for being a baby. same goes for self harm. i have too much pride to do it after i got out of the hospital for trying to kill myself once before.and something that's traumatized me is that if i kill myself they'll leave me to be alone(not just locked in room and shit,LITERALLY leaving me) because thats what my fathers side of the family did including my father.i dont know what to do.it's a BIG problem.i get pissed off at anyone who doesn't take me seriously and i leave them out of my life forever.i blame my dad for that.but thats a different story i'd rather not get into.please,i need advice..i feel like im going to brake down.i've been holding in everything for so long.and my therapist doesn't have time for me.with my friends hating me,and my family being homophobes,i can't talk to anyone.and i never post shit like this because i have too much pride for that.but this time i need help.please...i dont have long either...please just give me any kind of advice...even just knowing someone cares helps. :'(